


Reunited, Re-established and Relationships

by jess_louisee_1995



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:03:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 100
Words: 78,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8730415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jess_louisee_1995/pseuds/jess_louisee_1995
Summary: Bernie returns from Kiev. Follow their story as they navigate problems with trust, trauma, family, acceptance. Can they come out the other side? Or is it true that the only person you can rely on it yourself in times of need and tragedy?





	1. Chapter 1

1\. The Note

It had been two months since Bernie had laid eyes on Serena. Unable to cope with the amount of emotion she'd been feeling she'd run away. Bernie had always run away when the going got tough. She ran away from her marriage to Marcus, winding up in the army because she was struggling. She'd ran away from the army because of what happened with Alex and she couldn't cope with her feelings. She'd done exactly the same thing here. Done a moonlight flit if you like and left Serena behind. 

She'd chosen to stay in Kiev, even after the secondment had ended, because she thought it was the easiest thing all around. She could throw herself into her work and try to forget all about Holby and her life before. Then first had come the email- The hospital needs you. The words had struck Bernie as odd. She had been trying to cut off all ties with herself and Holby/Serena, but when she received the email from Serena, she was mildly disappointed there wasn't more personal emotions in it. That was the first time she'd questioned her own decision, and wondered if she'd done the wrong thing in staying and not returning home. 

Not replying to the email had been a mistake. She hasn't known what to say so she'd done what she did best and bury it. Run away from the problem and hope it would go away on its own- stay quiet. She'd stayed quiet and stayed away, thinking and hoping that if she could be away for so long she could forget Serena and forget all about Holby. But then the three little words on one text message has changed everything. I miss you. 

Today was the day. She'd come back to face her demons and see what awaited her beyond those double doors. No one except Ric knew she was coming back. All the running away, all the uncertainty, the last 2 months had been in vain. The moment had come. She took a deep breath and pushed open the doors to AAU. 

*********************************

8:45am. Serena groaned. Why was she clock watching? Today was going to be one of those days that would drag. Glancing out of the window, she saw Jason pushing a patient by in their wheelchair. She was so proud of him. All of the hurdles he'd overcome in the past few months. Bernie had been right- about loosening her grip on him. Thinking of Bernie bought a sudden flow of tears to her eyes. After hearing nothing from her in almost 2 months, the belief that shed simply moved on has solidified in Serenas mind. 

Sweeping the tears from her eyes, she looked longingly at the desk opposite her. What she wouldn't give to see Bernie again. While Serena had realised she was in love with her she hadn't told her in any of the emails and texts she'd sent. She'd wanted to tell her face to face, but would she ever get the chance? Doing what she'd done for the past 8 weeks, she painted a smile on her face and went out to see what trials and tribulations would face her today. 

*********************************

Pushing the door open, Bernie had seen Serena emerge from the office with a smile painted on her face. She hadn't been prepared for the overwhelming sense of longing she'd experienced in that moment, so she'd retreated to the corridor to compose herself. 

Several minutes later, not wanting to be a coward, she slipped into AAU unnoticed. She walked into the office and suddenly it her. Everything was changed. Had she really expected it to be the same? The world at Holby had carried on without her and now Bernie felt almost out of sync with everyone else. Almost as if they were in seperate and completely different wavelengths to her. Contemplating her options, she decided the safest was to leave the note on the computer and let Serena make the decision. Doing just that, she retreated back the way she came. The ball was in Serena's court now. Bernie had to let it come from her. She'd come back but was it enough? 

'Auntie Serena, I need to talk to you.' Jason appeared at the doorway. Immediately spotting the note propped up on the computer, his curiosity got the better of him. Recognising the penmanship as Bernies, he opened it. He smiled when he read it, and headed out the same way he'd come in, to see out the author of the note.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Features Bernie, Serena and of course a little help from Jason. When Bernie learns the truth about the message she wants to go back to Kiev. Can Jason persuade her to stay??

2\. What if? 

Waiting had never been Bernies strong point. So many unanswered questions were floating around in her mind. Should she have sought Serena out personally? Has she found the note yet? She could be on her way up right now, but she could have thrown it in the rubbish. Bernie couldn't blame her if she had but the message she'd been sent had led Bernie to believe Serena was finally over being angry with her. 

Pacing the roof, the only thing she could hear was the whistling of the wind. She wished she could be as carefree as the wind, blow in and out whenever it felt it. Bernie knew she was an impatient soul. Casting her mind back to the last conversation she'd had up here with Dominic Copeland, she'd felt like she'd aged a decade since that time. Being on the roof seemed to add clarity to her thoughts and helped her make decisions. She approached the end of the roof and leant on the barrier, pretending to be admiring the view of Holby, but really listening, hoping/praying for the sound of footsteps. The only thing she was rewarded with was the deafening silence, and the whistling of the wind, almost mocking her request. 

'Bernie?'  
The sound of her name caught her off guard. That was a males voice, not Serenas. Turning around, she saw Jason standing there, smiling awkwardly with her note in his hand.  
'Jason!! How are you?'  
'I am very well thank you. Yourself?'  
'I'm okay. What are you doing with my note? I left that for your auntie to find.'  
'Yes, that much is obvious? But why? You should just go and see her. She missed you'  
'Did she tell you that?'  
'No, but while we are on the subject I have something to tell you Bernie. That message that came through from auntie Serena. The one about missing you. She didn't send it to you. I did.' 

In that second Bernies world collapsed. She'd travelled halfway back around he world on a whim because of three little words. Turns out it was for no reason and she should have just stayed in Kiev, where she was safe.  
'Jason, why would you do that? I thought that Serena had sent it'  
'Bernie, she was too stubborn to send it herself. You know what she's like. You missed her too. This says so.' Handing her back her note; Bernies eyes welled up as she read the words she'd written earlier that day.  
I MISSED YOU AS WELL. I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY, BUT I WANT TO EXPLAIN. GIVE ME A CHANCE. AM ON THE ROOF. B xx

'Jason, I'm going to go. Pretend you haven't seen me. No-one needs to know I was here.' 'Bernie, you can't go. You came all this way and now you're going away again. You can't do it again.' 'Jason, I'm so confused now. Serena might not want to see me.' 'Ask Raf or anyone. She doesn't want anyone but you- not even Robbie.' 'Who's Robbie?' 'Her old boyfriend. She doesn't want him. She told him so. Come with me and find her, she'll tell you herself. Please?' Bernie didn't know what to do. She'd come all the way back here with a planned reunion and now Jason had thrown a spanner in the works. What would Serena say if she found out? 'Jason, I need to think, could you give me a few minutes please?' 'Yes, yes Bernie. You're not going to go are you?' 'No, I promise' Jason left Bernie to her thoughts on the roof and went in search of Serena. She alone was probably the only person who could salvage the situation now. When she knew Bernie had returned, she might be able to persuade her from leaving. When he reached AAU, he saw her in the office. He went rushing in, like a bull in a chinashop. 'Auntie Serena, Auntie Serena'. Jason has clearly interrupted a deep thought, as he watched her gather herself. He had done what he thought was the right thing but would Serena see it that way? So many thoughts going through Bernies mind. She'd come back all the way to Holby to tell Serena what she felt, but now with Jason's admission about the message, she wondered if it was better o leave by the nearest exit and not look back. Two words refused to leave her though. What if? What if? On there own they were as harmless as words could be, but putting them together and they had the power to haunt Bernies mind. Together they were the question so doing, that Bernie knew she couldn't walk away. Ultimately, she decided to go and find Serena and tell her what she'd come all this way for. Then where they went from there, would be down to Serena but at least she'd have said it and her conscience would be clear. Turning on her heels, she walked towards the door with an almost renewed sense of purpose. Upon reaching the door though,she was back in familiar territory of wanting to run away and forget this day. 'Don't be a coward' she told herself. She went through the door and started down the stairs for AAU. Whatever was coming her way, she was ready. But the question what if? What if it was a case of too little too late?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena come face to face for the first time since Bernie ran away. Jason is the main dialect in this chapter with support from Serena. Bernie appears towards the end.

3\. Realisation

Serena was in her office. Her resolve to face the day had lasted all of about 39 minutes, and it wasn't even 9:30am yet. Away from the hustle and bustle of AAU, Bernie was at the forefront of her mjnd; just as she had been every day for the last eight weeks, ever since she'd upped and left to Kiev. 

She'd told Robbie only last week that she there was someone else she was in love with, but now she was wondering if she'd done the right thing by turning him down? Robbie was lovely and cared a fear deal, and she was extremely fond of him. Serena knew she could have had a good thing with him but somehow she knew she wouldn't ever be truly happy- because of Bernie. Truth was, Serena didn't know if Bernie ever wanted to hear from her again. What if she didn't? What if? That damning and haunting question again. 

Jason came hurtling into the office all guns blazing.  
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Serena.' Pulling her thoughts away from her disastorous lovelife for a moment, Serena looked at him and was surprised to see the urgency in his eyes.  
'Jason, what on earth is wrong?'  
'I have to tell you something, I think you might hate me though, but it's the right thing to do.'  
'Jason, I could never ever hate you. You must know that. Tell me what's wrong'  
'It's Bernie, she's back. 

That was the last thing she had been expecting to hear from her nephew. In a matter of seconds, all the colour drained Serenas face and then rushed to her cheeks, leaving her a flaming scarlet.  
'Back, as in the country? Or the hospital?'  
'In the hospital. I've just been talking to her. She came back because of me'  
'You? Why?'  
'This is where you might hate me'  
'Jason, you're my nephew and I love you. Nothing you can ever do will make me hate you. Ok?'  
'Ok.'  
'So, why did Bernie come back because of you?'  
'I sent her a message from your phone.'  
'Saying what?'  
'I miss you.' 

Grounded to the spot, the realisation of Bernie being somewhere in the hospital dawned on Serena. She could finally tell her the depths of her feelings and her a proper explanation about the secondment.  
'Jason, how do you know she came back because of me?'  
'She left you a note, but I found it. I went to see her and when I told her it was me, she said she was going again.'  
Hearing those words turned Serenas stomach. Bernie had come all the way back on a whim because of thre little words and was going to run away again without even talking to her..  
'Where is she?'  
'On the roof'  
'I need to go, go and stop her. She thought I sent that message.. I need to see her'  
'She asked me to pretend I hadn't seen her. What if she's gone without saying goodbye? What if? This is all my fault. I was trying help.'  
Seeing her nephew upset, Serena wrapped him in a hug  
'No, it's not your fault. You did what you thought was right, and it probably was. You bought her back, when I couldnt' 

Bernie opened the doors to AAU and hovered for a moment in the doorway. Glancing around the ward, it hit been just how much she'd missed everyone and everything. This place had become her home. Taking a breath, she peeped into the office and saw Serena and Jason embracing in a hug. She breathed out and took the two steps to the door.

'Auntie Serena?'  
'Yes Jason?'  
'What are you going to say to her when you see her?'  
'I don't know exactly. I need to know why the radiosilence from her. And she needs to know just how much I've missed her, how much I needed her, still need her in fact, and how much she means to me.'  
'Really?' The one spoken word from Bernie was all it took. Feeling a chill run down her spine, Serena turned around, and the two of them locked eyes for the first time in months.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena start to get to the bottom of their feelings for each other, but will they each find the answers they are looking for?

4\. Face to Face

Seeing the two of them standing still, just staring into each other's eyes, Jason slipped out of the office and closed the door behind him. Serena and Bernie were enclosed in their own personal bubble, and neither one of them wanted to be the first one to break it.

After what seemed like an eternity, Serena dropped her gaze to the floor. Bernie took the opportunity to go and sit in her chair. Before anything else, she needed to clear the air.  
'I owe you an apology' were the first words out of her mouth.  
'You don't owe me anything Bernie.' Bernie detected the slightest bit of tension in Serenas reply. She was a bit taken aback; after what she'd just heard her say, she hadn't expected tension.  
'I do, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say to your emails or text messages, so I said nothing. Thought it was easier for both of us'  
'Easier? For who? For you maybe, but not me. It took everything for me to send you those messages, for you to respond with radio silence. I had no idea if you were coming back.'  
'Truth is, I didn't think I would. But then I got your message about missing me, and I thought, just go back. And now I'm here.'  
'Yes, for how long? I realised a lot while you were gone. You can't expect to come back in and pick up where we left off?'  
'Serena, I don't expect to. I know that. That stuff I just heard you say, did you mean it?'  
'Every word'

At that reply, Bernie put her head in her hands. Should she have gone? Should she have warned Serena she was coming back? Serena sat watching Bernie, deep in thought. It was times like this, she wished the floor could open up and swallow her whole.  
'So you missed me then?' Bernie asked  
'Maybe, just a little' The two of them smiled to themselves, but with neither of them knowing what to say next, lapses into a comfortable silence.

The silence lasted for many minutes. The time away from each other had left them craving the closeness they'd once had. But they almost felt like strangers to each other now. True, their feelings for once another were undeniable and unquestionable, but now they felt some uncomfortableness and disjointed moments between them. 

'So, how's Fletch?' Bernie asked, desperate to break the silence  
'He's good. Back at work. You should go and find him. I know he'd be pleased to see you'  
'There's lots I've missed out, I can see that. But before I go and see anyone else, I need to know what is going on with us?'  
'Us? Is there an us?' This was the moment Serena had been waiting for. She'd never felt like this about anyone, not even Edward, but that was what caused the uncertainty. Edward had been so predictable, Serena had always known where she stood with him, whereas Bernie was the complete opposite. She was tempremental and unpredictable. However, without these qualities, she wouldn't be Bernie, and that was the reason Serena had fallen for her. Well that and their undeniable sexual chemistry.

'Are you asking me?'  
'I'm asking you. Is there an us?'  
'Honestly, I don't know. I missed you so much while I was away, and it made me realise just how much I cared about you. But now I think I made it worse by leaving. I just saw no other option.'  
'I'm not asking about when you went away. I'm asking you about here and now. You and me. Us. Is there one?'  
'Do you want there to be?'  
'Well I want us to explore together. What about you?'  
'Together? That rather implies that you want there to be an us. Or did I get that wrong? But if you're asking me, I will say this. I don't know if there is yet, but I would like there to be.'

Sensing that was the best response she was going to ger under the circumstances, Serena leant forward and took Bernies hand.  
'You want there to be?'  
'Yes, how many times? I realised while I was away. I was a coward. I ran away when I should have stayed. As soon as I left, I regretted it.'  
'You could have come back'  
'I wanted to, but I didn't think there was much else to say. You told me what you didn't want, I wanted you to figure out what you wanted. Have you? 

Bernie wasn't sure what she was going to hear. In truth, she was probably a little  
worried, but if she hadn't stayed to find out, the enormous power of two little words have haunted forever. What if?  
'Have I figured out what I want?'  
'Yes.'  
'Well... To tell you the truth, I thought I knew what I wanted. Someone to ask me how my day was and listen to me. Someone I knew would be dependable and I could trust. I wanted some normal and safe. Then you arrived, and slowly what I thought I wanted changed. Now, I don't want any of that anymore- I'm not sure I ever did. Because the thing I want isn't safe or dependable. It's full of uncertainty and passion. What I want is Bernie, is you. You and only you.'

When Serena finished, she looked over at Bernie. She was shocked to see her with tears in her eyes. Bernie couldn't believe what she was hearing- from Serena of all people. Smiling, she entwined her hand and said  
'Guess its true then'  
'What?'  
'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'  
Serena couldn't help but return her smile, but the moment was ruined by the sound of her pager. She looked away for a minute to read it.  
'Trauma patient on the way up. Want to lend a hand?'  
'Just try and stop'  
'Assuming you remember how to find theatre that is'  
'Lead the way'  
They both smiled to each other, as they headed off to her their scrubs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena have another conversation after a rather difficult operation. Will this help them clarify their feelings anymore?

5\. I Love You

The operation helped mend some of the awkwardness between them. They worked as they always had, as one. Bernie knew Serena was still mad at her, £4 she hoped, given the circumstances that things would get better between them. She felt she had been a coward in running away, but since Serena seemed certain of what she wanted and knowing her feelings, Bernie couldn't help wonder if she made the right decision. 

Serena felt she was dreaming. She still couldn't Bernie was here, in the same country, let alone in the same theatre. Having her there with her after so long almost didn't seem real. While she was so happy to see her, she was also wary. Was Bernie definetley certain of her feelings? Was she back to stay? Is she only saying what she thinks I want to hear? 

Concentrating on the task in hand, Serena managed to stem the arterial bleed from her patient. It had been touch and go as to whether they would lose her. She wasn't out of the woods yet, but Serena hoped she had done enoigj to buy her some more time. Avoiding looking at Bernie, she tried to focus on her patient. She was her primary concern, nothing else could get in the way.

The beeping of the monitor suddenly alerted Serena to the fact that something had clearly gone awry. Blood began spurting out, leaving Bernie and Serena in no doubt, there was more internal bleeding than they had been led to believe. Bernie applied the suction, trying to find the source of the bleed and desperately regain control of the situation before they lost the patient.

Five minutes on, Serena was at a standstill. The suction wasn't draining the blood quick enough and she wasn't able to see what she was doing.  
'I don't know the best way to proceed'  
'Yes you do. You're a surgeon. And a bloody good one at that. Saving people is what you do best, even if they don't want to be saved. Don't overthink. You know what to do. I'm here with you. Don't for a second doubt that. I'm with you, every step of the way. You know what you need to do.' Bernie replied so softly but the words had the desired effect on Serena. She couldn't quite believe what Bernie had said to her but it bought her down out of the rafters and back to the theatre. The main concern was the blood, but Serena decided she was going to save this young woman's life, with Bernies help. 

Half an hour later, Serena emerged from theatre alone. Bernie was getting cleaned up and Serena wanted a minute to gather her throughts. The words spoken to her by Bernie has clarified her uncertainty about the best way to proceed. She didn't realise quite how much she'd missed the companionship and closeness that she'd had with Bernie before the whole Ukraine debacle. 

'Serena, are you okay?' Bernie emerges from theatre behind her. Bernie had never seen Serena have a confidence crisis before; well apart from that time she'd almost quit the hospital. The day she'd come back after being suspended; the day they'd both become co-leads of AAU. That was the day Bernie had given Serena the welcome back present, which coincidentally was around the time their friendship passed over the line of friendship. That day she'd come close to losing her; she had no intention of letting it happen again.  
'Yes, yes I'm fine. Sorry, don't know what happened in there.'  
'Serena, its okay. No one died did they?' 

At those words, Serena just broke down. Bernie had never seen Serena this emotional, at least not since the day of Arthur's funeral, and that had been an emotional day for everyone involved. She couldn't just watch Serena stand there and cry. Bernie did what she'd been dying to do ever since she'd first got back to the hospital, she took the two steps to close the gap between her and Serena and wrapped her in a hug. 

Serena froze for a moment as Bernie pulled her into a hug. Restraining herself for a moment, she tried to pull back. She was grateful for the support in theatre, but has become distracted and nearly lost her patient as a result. After a minute though, she gave in arm and wrapped both arms around Bernie, wrapping them around her lower back and pulling her even closer. There they were, in the corridor outside the theatre, wearing scrubs covered in blood, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it. They had missed the freeness of their friendship, and continued to stand there, relishing in the comfort they were bringing each other. 

What seemed like an eternity passed, when in actual fact it was only about 30 seconds. Bernie could feel Serena breathing on her shoulder.  
'I missed this' she said very quietly  
'So have I,' came the reply from Serena. Serena broke her arms from Bernies back and took a step back. Bernie grabbed her hand, desperate not to lose the physicality she'd been desperately craving for the last eight weeks

'So what happened in there?' Bernie questioned. Serena couldn't look Bernie in the eye, instead focussing on a spot about a foot above her head.  
'It's my fault. I got distracted.'  
'By me?'  
'Bernie, I nearly lost a patient because of us. That interfered with my job. What kind of doctor does that make me?'  
'I would say a human one. Yes, you room your eye off the ball. Everyone does, but you saved her in the end.'  
'Not me, we.'  
'What did I do? I just stood and watched you like a lemon?'  
'Bernie, you think I could have done that without you?'  
'You did. I was just a spare wheel'  
'Bernie, listen to me. I'd have gone to pot without you. Don't you get it? Your words resonate with me so deeply, you're the reason I was able to save her, because of what you said. About being there with me. I knew you had my back'  
'I've always had your back girl. Surely you should know that by now?'  
'I thought I knew that. But then you left me on my own. You went away to Kiev and left me to pick up the pieces.'  
'I wasn't in a good way either. I couldn't eat properly. The only thing I could think about was you Serena. Still is. I threw myself into my work, but it didn't help.'  
'What did you mean in there? About saving people, even if they don't want to be saved?'  
'Haven't you figured it out yet? You saved me'  
'From who?'  
'Myself. Before I met you, I've been running my whole life. I was on self-destruct mode. Probably from too many years in the army. But then you. You changed everything. You were my saving grace. You were there for me through everything with the divorce and Alex. I don't know what i did to deserve someone like you in my life, but it took me going to Kiev to realise just how much I cared about you.'  
'And it took you going to Kiev, for me to realise the same'  
'You'll never know how much I missed you. How messed up everything became. The overwhelming feeling I had when I saw you for the first time earlier. I've never had that for anyone, ever'  
'Me as well. I'm even more clueless than you, but now I'm sure of what I feel for you. I know and I'm sure, but whether it's enough, I don't know'  
'What you feel?'  
'Yes, yes. You leaving me made me realise just how much I needed you, cared about you. I love you.'

'You love me?' Bernie could not believe what she was hearing. She realised in that heartbeat of a moment that leaving has been the worst possible thing for her. Yes, while her leaving had helped Serenas feelings, but in doing that, Bernie knew she'd lost some of her confidence and sparkle. Two of the things she loved about Serena. 

Love. The word felt strange in Bernies throat. It was the first time she'd ever felt in love with anyone on such a level. Not only was emotional intimacy between the two of them, there was a very strong physical attraction as well. The fact they'd been such close friends before has helped them to bond and trust each other implicitly. Now, however, Bernie was scared that the strength of their feelings towards each other would make them awkward around each other. Serena stood there, waiting for Bernie to reply. She'd taken a big leap in confessing her feelings, but she still didn't know if it was enough. She wasn't sure if she could trust Bernie wholeheartedly after what had happened; and trust was such a big thing for Serena. Trust is what has grounds for a relationship m, and without it she wasn't sure there was anything to fight for. Feeling torn, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't see a future with or without Bernie at the minute. The question was, did Bernie feel the same? Did she reciprocate her feelings? If she did, where did that leave them? If she didn't, had Serena just alienated her completely?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena told Bernie her feelings. Does Bernie feel the same? When she tells Serena her feelings, will it be the outcome she wanted?

6\. I Love You Too

Serena thought she'd put her foot in it. Watching Bernie standing there deep in thought, she thought she had lost her. Telling Bernie her feelings was such a big step. If Bernie didn't feel the same then Serena had just blown their friendship wide open; but she couldn't live a lie anymore. She'd been buckling under the weight of her feelings, with no outcry. 

Her life had changed so much in the last eight months since Bernie has arrived in AAU. If someone had told her she'd be in love with her female best friend this time last year, she'd have laughed in their face. The whole thing had been such a whirlwind. She hadn't realised she'd loved being caught up in it until it left. The whirlwind. Bernie. 

'Bernie?'  
Hearing Serena's voice bought her down out of the rafters. She was trying to decide what to say next. Bernie knew her leaving had affected Serena in so many ways. She'd almost put a guard up and retreated into herself. She's lost some of her spark and fiery nature that she'd grown to love about her. 

There was that word again. Bernie reflected on her feelings. Bernie knew she'd been on a downward spiral when she'd come to Holby. She was stuck in a loveless marriage. She was just an empty shell going through the motions. Being friends with Serena had been the easiest thing- after she'd forgiven her for lying about the reasons for divorce. Serena was like a lighthouse. They saved ships from a watery grave and being moored on the rocks. The lighthouse was a constant presence and their light guided ships through the darkest of nights. Serena had been that for Bernie. Been a guiding light through her divorce and her fallout with her children. She'd never know what she'd done for her. Bernie couldn't describe it in words what Serena had done for her. Love. That word again. She'd never even contemplated that word with regards to Serena. Bernie couldn't help smiling at the fact. It was so obvious, it had been staring her in the face the whole time. 'Bernie?' Serena's voice depicted a sense of longing and urgency. Glancing upwards, Bernie met her eyes. They were full of regret, uncertainty and tears. How could she not have seen how vulnerable Serena was? 'Serena, I...' 'Bernie, please don't pretend with me. I can't stand it if you pretend with me. I think it's pretty obvious you don't. Don't feel the same. You were shocked and thinking about the best way to let me down gently. Well, I've gone and done it now. I can't unsay it, I can't unthink it and I can't unfeel it. So now, the question is, where do we go from here? Probably back to Kiev knowing you? I've ruined it now. Why did I...?' She never got to finish her sentence becaus Bernie instinctively grabbed her hands and spontaneously kissed Serena. Kissing her back for a minute, she pulled back and grabbed Bernie's shoulders. That was the last thing she had been expecting. 'If that's your way of letting me down gently.' 'No, you daft cow. It's my way of shutting you up. The only way I'm going to get a word in edgeways. Now, listen to me. I'm not going anywhere. If you had let me finish what I was going to say. Serena, I love you too.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So they've confessed their feelings for each other. What next? Serena has some trust issues and Bernie is called away. Keep reading.

7\. Trust Talk

'Are you joking with me?' That was he last thing Serena expected to hear from Neenies mouth. In truth, it would have been easier if she'd have said she didn't feel the same because now Serena would have to tackle the elephant in the room- her trust issues.  
'Joking, are you being serious?' Bernie had just laid her heart on the line. Serena had told her how she'd felt and she'd accepted it without question. Now Serena thought she was joking. She pushed herself away from Serena and turned away from her.  
'Do you have any idea how much of me that took to tell you? Normally I run away from my feelings. I can't handle anything and I run away. Always have done. You changed that. I was a closed book, cut off from the rest of the world. You helped me trust again, helped me rebuild my life after Marcus, helped me let my guard down, I meant every word. And now you think I'd be that stupid to joke about with you? Do you know me at all?'  
'Bernie, look, I had no idea you were going to say that. I thought you were going to go running in the opposite direction. This isn't going how I planned it. When I picture this moment, we weren't both covered in our bloody scrubs in the middle of the theatre corridor'

At that Bernie swung round and locked eyes with Serena. Without breaking the contact, she grabbed Serena's hand, entwining her fingers in her own.  
'Serena. It doesn't matter to me where we were, what we looked like. All that matters is that we said it. This moment. Me and you. That's what matters.'  
Those three sentences from Bernie had done the unthinkable, and rendered Serena completely and utterly speechless.  
'I don't know what to say to that'  
'You don't have to say anything. Remember this moment, what we said and how we feel.'  
'But Bernie, it doesn't change anything' 

Taken aback, Bernie let go of Serena's hands.  
'What do you mean?'  
'It's not love holding us back?'  
'So what is?'  
'Trust'  
'Trust? But I trust you with my life. I trust you completely. You know that right?'  
'Yes, but...'  
'Serena, whatever it is, please tell me'  
'I'm not sure I trust you'

At those words, Bernie closed her eyes. Just a few seconds ago, she's been as high as a kite and then six words had bought her back down to earth with a bump. She and Serena had reached the point of no return in their lovelife, and now just when it seemed things were finally looking up, Serena had turned the tables on both of them.  
'So if you don't trust me, where does that leave us? Is there even an us? Was there ever?'  
'Did I say I didn't trust you? No. I said I'm not sure I trust you. I want to trust you, but I'm not sure I do at this precise moment in time. Before you left, I trusted you completely; I would never have questioned it, but now I don't know. That last day, I told you I didn't want you to go. I was all but begging you not to go, in front of the entire ward, but you went off regardless. That hurt me more than you will ever know. And all the rumours after you left. I was at the centre of all of them. How do you think it felt having all the porters and staff nurses gossiping about me? The fact that when I walked into a room, everyone would stop talking. It made me feel ashamed and embarassed.'  
'So I made you feel ashamed and embarrassed?'  
'In a way yes, you left me on my own. But now you're back. I want to be able to trust you, just that will take time.'  
'So it's not all over for us then?'  
'No I told you earlier. I want us to find out together. I want you, everything that comes with you. Even the uncertainty'  
'And the distrust?'  
'Bernie, it's not distrust. I just don't trust you enough. I'm sorry. I don't know how to say it. I love you. I want to trust you. I'm sure I will in time'  
'I love you too. I just don't want you to do something you're not comfortable with. If you can't trust me, best call or a day now and we can forget everything, rather than prolonging the heartache.'  
'I hope with time, we can fix the issues we have. Show me I can trust you.'  
'I can try'  
'I love you, you know that right?'  
'I believe you have already mentioned that'

Stepping forward simultaneously, they wrapped their arms around each other. They both returned the others embracing with such ease, they wondered where the awkwardness from earlier had gone. They stood there, still in their scrubs, not wanting to break away from the first physical contact they'd had in two months that wasn't in comfort or angst. Full of passion and love. 

Bernies mobile went off. Pulling away, she read the message and grabbed Serena's hand.  
'Major incident. Multiple traumas. Need a medic at the scene. I have to go.'  
She walked back down the corridor and turned back to Serena.  
'Please remember what I said Serena. Remember that moment'  
'I will, Bernie you know I will. 

With a wave, Bernie turned on her heel and was gone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So they've reached an impasse with each other. With Bernie away, Serena reflects on the events of the morning, but nothing can prepare her for what happens next.

8\. Trauma Victim

So much had happened that morning. Serena couldn't believe it. She'd never been this unsure about anyone. She knew she was completely, inexplicably and irrevocably in love with her, but as to whether they could ever be together. Serena was extremely hopeful that they could get back to how they once were, hopeful but unsure. Trust was such a big thing for Serena and with Bernie leaving, the trust had been broken between them. 

That said, she was glad that Bernie had finally had the courage to come back. She knew just how much of her it taken to fight every impulse that morning to run away, but she'd stayed. For her. So they could be together. Serena hoped in time she could learn to trust Bernie wholeheartedly and without hesitation. For now she knew, they had to get used to being in each other's lives every day again. As she sat in the office, she thought about the time she had nearly walked out on Bernie. 

Of course circumstances had been completely different then. She's returned to AAU under a could after her suspension to find herself being as she called it 'babysat' by Bernie.  
'I wanted to make sure the person working with you had your back.' Those words had stayed with Serena ever since that day. Serena had always felt like Bernie HAD her back. Then they'd kissed in theatre and nothing had ever been the same. Her life had changed dramatically in the last year. None of it would have happened without Bernie, and Serena didn't want to change anything. She just wished she'd had more time to think and get her head round things- things could have been different. She thought back to how that day had panned out. The welcome home present. That had kind of been foreshadowing the future. Survival kit- in case of emergencies. Serena wondered what she'd have put in there if it had been for Bernie. Considering the strength of her feelings for Bernie, Serena didn't really know much about her. She knew all of her major details but it's the little details that make a relationship work. Serena didn't know much about Bernie, in terms, of her favourites such as music, films. Though she did know Beenie didn't know much about music- comparing Morven to Dusty Springfield. That was some of the things Serena wanted and needed to know about her. When Bernie returned from this major incident, she resolved to make them sit down and have a chat about their hobbies and things like that. Get to know each other more. Deciding to go and grab a coffee, Serena left the office. A quick trip to Pulses and she was back in the office with her much needed sustenance. However, in the time she'd been gone, her phone had registered 6 missed calls from Bernie and a voicemessage. Panic suddenly set in, as she nervously sat down to listen to the message left by Bernie. 'Serena, it's me. This situation has opened my eyes so much to what's important. The train crash, its so bad. You have to see it to believe it. And I'm going into the carriage to try and rescue a trapped man. I don't know how long I'm going to be but I don't want you to think I've jumped ship and ran away. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I have to go now. See you later.' Serena was relieved to hear Bernies voice and it provided her with some comfort, but she didn't know how bad the situation was for Bernie, and what dangers lay in front of her. She pressed the call button and listened to the phone ring out. After an eternity, she got Bernies cheery voice message. She had to think on her feet when leaving her voice message on Bernie's phone. 'Bernie, please please call me as soon as you get this, or as soon as you can. I just got your message. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for your call. I need to know you're okay. If anyone can handle a trauma case it's you. You are the most fierce and fantastic doctor in the entire hospital. You can handle chaos and trauma like it's second nature. Just call me, to put my mind at ease. Oh, and I love you, you daft banana.' ********************************* Struggling with the uncertainty, Bernie wanted to be sure of what she was doing. She wanted to hear Serena's voice, to help her, reassure her. Why was she having this trouble, today of all days? Shaking of the falling debris from her helmet, she struggled the find the right place to make the incision. If she didn't do something fast she'd lose her patient and echoing Serena's words- 'What kind of doctor would that make me?' 'Bernie? It's Iain, can you hear me?' 'Yes, just about.' 'Listen to me. You have to come out now. The firemen are saying the structure isn't safe. It's going to come down any second. You need to come out now. You'll have to leave him.' 'No, I can't leave him. There has to be more I can do' Racking her brains, Bernie pondered her options. Leave him- no go. Stay with him- then she might die as well. Get herself and him out- that seemed like her only option, but she didn't see how she could do it. Hearing her phone vibrate in her pocket, she resisted the chance to answer it. In the army, she's been faced with many trapped limbs before- in some cases they did amputations to keep the patients alive. Making up her mind to do a quick tourniquet to try and free his leg, she shifted position. As she did so, her phone fell out of her pocket. She had a voicemail from Serena. Hitting the play button, she wanted to hear her voice. As she focussed on her patients leg, she listened to Serena's message. Hearing her say she loved her and needed to know she was okay, provided Bernie with newfound energy. However, that was all in vain, as she finished the procedure, and knelt over to release his leg, the roof of the train carriage collapsed down around her, knocking her unconscious.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernies injured, and all she wants to do is talk to Serena. Will she ever get out? She manages to talk to Serena, but there is nothing she can do to help her. Her fate is hanging in the balance, will she eve get out and talk to Serena face to face again?

8\. Major Rescue

Serena was on tenterhooks, waiting for the phone to ring. How she wished she had gone with Bernie, or taken her phone with her?. If she had, she might have picked up Bernie's call. But she hadn't, and now she was in the dark as to what was going on. What would she do if something happened to her?

What if? What if? Those two words had played such a significant part today and they weren't done yet. At that precise moment, they were at the forefront of each other's minds. Serena was thinking about what if she lost her and never got the chance to see the woman she loved again? Bernie was thinking about what if she died here and never saw Cameron, Charlotte and Serena again?

Bernie had been knocked unconscious by the fallen cables on the roof of the carriage. She was a bit breathless and bruised, her back was giving her a lot of pain, but she wasn't majorly injured in any shape or form. However, her route out of the carriage was now a mass of rubble. Her only hope was that someone would come looking for her and cut her out. She thanked her lucky stars she was still alive. Her eyes fell on her phone next to her. Wanting to talk to Serena, she pulled with all her might to pull her arm free from under the rubble. After a few minutes of pulling, she managed to get it free. A few rogue cables fell on top of her, but she managed to punched out Serena's number

It was answered straight away as if she'd been watching and waiting for it to ring.  
'Bernie, Bernie, are you there?'  
'It's me.'  
'I'm so glad to hear your voice. I've been so worried.'  
'I'm in a bit of back pain, but I'm gonna be okay. I've lost my patient though, -'s now in trapped. Could be buried alive if I'm not found. Listen, Serena, if I don't make it out....'  
'Stop saying that. You're alive aren't you. They'll find you, I promise.'  
'My kids...'  
'Bernie, if anything happens, I promise, on Jason's life, I will speak to them. But it won't come to that. Bernie, I promise, you'll get through this'  
Bernie was just about to reply when her battery went dead. Serena was worried that she had said something wrong. 

Serena was worried. Had she said something wrong to Bernie? Why had she hung up on her? Or, had something happened to get Bernie cut off? That thought was so scary. Serena had only just got Bernie back in her life after eight weeks away in Kiev. If something had happened to her. Serena didn't know what she'd do. She stared at the empty desk in her office, silently praying that Bernie would be able to her back in contact. If anything just to let her know she was okay. 

Bernie cursed as her phone lost battery. Serena had said she would speak to her children and promised her she'd get out alive. God, how she loved that woman. After everything she'd put Serena through in the last few months, she continued to surprise her by supporting her and being there for her. Bernie didn't know what she'd done to deserve a woman like Serena in her life, but in that split second she made a decision. If she saw Serena again, she vowed to change her mind. She's lost her once, didn't want it to happen again. 

'Bernie, bernie, can you hear me?' It was Iain. He sounded very near, not too far away at all.  
'Iain, where are you? I'm okay, just trapped. But my back is killing me.'  
'We're on our way to you. We're going to get you out. Just hang on in there'  
'Sure, I'm not exactly going anywhere in a hurry am I.'  
Hearing his chuckle made Bernie realise, he really wasn't that far away at all. Hope. 

'Auntie Serena, are you okay?' Jason appeared at the doorway of the office. Interrupting her thoughts had become a recent speciality of Jason's.  
'Jason, I'm fine, honestly. I'm just thinking'  
'About Bernie?'  
'Yes, she's trapped somewhere and she might not get out. I don't know if I'll ever see her again.'  
'Auntie Serena, she's a fighter. And she had everything to come back for.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'She has you'  
At those words, Serena gave her nephew a hug. Backing out of the office after reciprocating, he went off to cause trouble elsewhere

********************************* 

Holding on for a little longer turned out to be harder than Bernie thought. She was extremely uncomfortable in the rubble and debris. She'd already suffered with back problems and knew that this could set her back months of progress. She'd sacked her chiropractor because she'd been fussy about who she let put her hands on her, but the funny thing was, later that day, she'd let Serena give her a massage. Quite by coincident, it has helped ease the pain. It had struck her then how close they'd become in the short time since she'd been on AAU. 

'Bernie, we're almost to you. Are you still in pain with your back? Any other injuries?'  
'No, it's just my back. Does the hospital know what's going on? Someone should let them know.'  
'Don't worry about that. Let's get you out first. I'll get Elle to ring Hanssen.'  
'No, not Hanssen. Get her to ring straight through to AAU.'

*********************************

'A watched phone never rings.' Serena jumped out of her skin at the sound of Raf's voice.  
'What else am I supposed to do? She could well be dying out there and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. Raf, I can't lose her. After everything that's happened today. What we said. Our story can't end like this. It just can't.'  
'Serena, Bernie is a fighter. We all know that. She came back for you. Hold on to that. She'll be back here before you know it.'  
'I told her I loved her earlier, and she said she loved me too. But I said I'm struggling to trust her. I don't know what to do.'  
'Serena, look, can I be honest.'  
'Yes, I wouldn't expect anything less.'  
'You and Bernie are cut from the same cloth. You both share the same passion for the job. You've both made mistakes- she ran off and you nearly hooked up with your ex. You're both as stubborn yet emotional as each other. You need each other to be grounded. You complete each other. Serena, you can trust her in time, in sure of it. I think you need to draw a line in the sand, say no more about the last and move on together.' 

Serena was about to reply when the phone rang. Answering it with a hurried hello, she listened for a few seconds, before thanking the caller for letting her know and putting the phone back.  
'Well?'  
'That was Elle from the ED. They've got her. She's okay.'


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'The journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step'  
> This quote came into my mind when I wrote this chapter. Bernies safe. Serena is waiting for her. The journey is of paramount importance.

10\. Journey 

To say that Bernie was in pain would have been a slight understatement. The pressure had become unbearable causing masses amount of pain and and uncontrollable amounts of tears. Today hadn't gone to plan, but as she knew too well, you couldn't plan for these things without the other person present. Serena's reaction hasn't been quite what she was expecting but the woman never failed to surprise her. 

Blowing hot and cold wasn't exactly a new thing for Bernie though when it came to women. She'd had the same problem with Alex, couldn't decide what was going on; and lost her because of it. .Bernie's had no intention of letting that happen with Serena. She knew she had to give Serena time to trust her again, so she resolved to her some breathing space. Bernie was in no doubt that Serena loved her, but trust was such a big thing for her. The uncertainty of what to do. She'd been the same with Alex was still in the picture. 

But now, Bernie wondered if she'd ever really loved Alex. What she felt for Serena was both so different and so much more intimate. It felt almost more believable. Her and Alex had been in stressful situations and been thrown together an hadn't really ever had a proper chance. That was why Bernie had run away from her- it didn't seem real to her, whereas with Serena she'd fallen in love with her like she fell asleep. Very slowly and deeply and then all at once. The fact they'd been such good friends before any thoughts of anything else between them, Bernie knew that the bond they shared would never be severed, but she'd never felt like that with Alex. 

Having both Alex and Serena coinciding in her thoughts at the same was a strange concept for Bernie. The two of them were nothing alike. Alex was a bit of fun when it was dangerous and the thrill of being caught, things might have seemed serious but were completely meaningless now. They seemed meaningless now, because next to Serena, Alex was nothing. Itching to see the woman she loved, she willed the ambulance to hurry back to the hospital, or as she called it, home.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Remember this moment'  
> Bernies on her way back to the hospital. Seren is desperate to see her.

11\. Waiting 

Serena had been waiting her whole life. Waiting to meet the right guy to settle down with, waiting for the right time to have children, waiting to be moved up the ladder career wise. But now, was the worst time of all. Waiting for Bernie to come back.

All she'd been told by Elle was that she wasn't seriously hurt but was in a lot of pain with her back. She was out there somewhere now, in the back of an ambulance, not knowing what reception she was going to get. Serena knew- she had to be there for her now. She'd seen a different side to Bernie since she'd came back. The feeling of almost being kind of broken, and all Serena wanted to do, was to look after her and take her pain away. 

She'd never felt like this about anyone before. She reflected on her two most serious relationships. Edward. Well tha had been rather a non-starter. They'd only really stayed together as long as they had because of Elinor, but when she'd discovered he was having an affair, it was the excuse she needed to be out of his life forever. I mean, she'd always have feelings towards him because he was Elinor's dad but that was as far as it would ever go. Robbie. Well this had been rather promising, but his failure to adapt to having Jason in their lives had meant he'd had to go. Jason was so important to Serena know- she loved him like he was her own son, maybe even as much or more than she loved Elinor. This is one reason why Serena knew Bernie had been for keeps. She'd accepted Jason for who he was and treated him like a grown up- where as Robbie never could. Having both Bernie and Robbie in her thoughts at the same time was a daunting prospect for Serena. They couldn't be compared, because they were so obviously different. Robbie was dependable and safe- the logical choice. Bernie was full of passion and spark. Her love of the job and the brilliant way she did it- the illogical choice. Serena knew she was completely, profusely and irrevocably in love with Bernie- almost like being on a rollerecoater- the hills they'd had to climb had been scary but it was so worth the ride. Hearing her phone ring, she answered it. It was Elle again. Bernie had arrived in the ambulance and was on her way to the ward. Elle had wanted Ethan to take a look at her but Bernie had refused point blank and said that she needed to get back to AAU. Serena's heart flipped over at the fact that Bernie was on her way back to see her. Itching to see her, she willed her to hurry up, back to the place she needed so badly- her home.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is back in the hospital, so why isn't she in AAU with Serena where they both so desperately long to be?

12\. Injury

'Where is she? She should have been here ages ago.'  
'Serena, I'm sure she's fine. She's probably getting a coffee or having a cigarette. You know she's in the hospital somewhere, so stop panicking.'  
'Raf, something is wrong, I can't explain it. I can feel it. Would you complete Mr Johannsen's blood gases for me? I won't be a minute.'  
'Serena..'  
'Raf, I have to know where she is.'

Almost 30 minutes had passed since the phone call and Bernie still wasn't back on the ward. Serena knew that something must have happened between the ED and AAU. Bernie had been so desperate to see her she's refused to get checked out by the medical staff. Serena couldn't explain it, she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach and it just would not go away. Her first port of call had been the patients, so she'd try to bury the feeling and forget about it, but as her minutes ticked by and Bernie didn't make a reappearance back on the ward, Serena knew she wasn't giving the patients as much attention as she should. She had to go and see her out, find her and check she was okay. 

Walking out of AAU and turning left down the corridor, she saw Fletch coming back towards the ward.  
'Fletch, any idea where Ms Wolfe is? She should have been back on the ward by now?'  
'Is she still not back? That's not right. Surely it doesn't take her this long to get back. Tell you what, I'll come with you.'  
'Thanks Fletch.'  
'So, why are you going to seek her out? Surely would have been easier to send a porter?'  
'I have to know she's okay. I can't shake this feeling that something has happened to her.'  
'Serena, you remember when you asked me if I'd heard anything whilst I was in my coma?' 

Serena came to an abrupt halt in the corridor. She remembered this moment all too well. It had been the week after her first kiss with Bernie and her head had been all over the place. She'd ended up in ICU telling Fletch all about their kiss.  
'Yes.'  
'And then I go break my own rule, with Bernie Wolfe.'  
'So you did hear me?'  
'I did hear you yes, but it wasn't my place to say anything. And I had the kids and everything to prioritise. So, what happened?'  
'We kissed each other in theatre after we did your surgery. Believe me, it was a shock to me to. But ever since then, it's like we've been on a rollercoaster, the amount of times we've been up and down.'  
'How do you feel about her?'  
'I love her. It's scary how much I love her. I've never felt like this about anyone before. And know, I've got this horrible feeling I'm going to lose her all over again. I can't Fletch, I can't lose her.'  
'Serena, this is Bernie Wolfe, we're talking about. The woman is a fighter, like you. You won't lose her.'  
'So, where is she?'

'Can I get some help here?' Serena and Fletch heard a voice calling for help. Breaking into a run, they turned the corner and the situation that met their eyes was too much for Serena to take. A porter was kneeling over Bernie, who was lying motionless on the floor.  
'Fletch, grab a trolley.'  
'There's no time for that.'  
Running to her side, Serena forgot about where she was and grabbed Bernies hand.  
'Bernie, Bernie? Can you hear me?.'  
There was no answer, but Serena was relieved when she found a very strong pulse.  
'Serena, you need to move out the way.'  
Standing up and moving back, Serena could only watch as Fletch picked up Bernie in his arms and carried her lifeless body towards AAU.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'You never know how strong you are-until being strong is the only choice you have'  
> Bernie is injured. Will she be okay?  
> Serena blames herself, and Fletch and Raf do their best to console her. But only time will tell

13\. Time Will Tell

'Bernie, Serena, Fletch. What on earth has happened?' Raf cane running over, taking in the sights as he saw them. Fletch carrying an unconscious Bernie in his arms. Serena, pale white and like a ghost, bringing up the rear, gasping for breath, like a fish out of water. 

Fletch put Bernie on the trolley and Raf went with Morven to try and get to the bottom of what had made her collapse. He waved a hand at Fletch, who immediately understood.  
'Serena, she will be fine. She's a fighter.'  
'We said that earlier. It might not be enough. She was breathing wasn't she?.'  
'Yes, she was. Raf and Morven will look after her. She's in the best place possible.'  
'I need to go and see her.'  
'No, you need to stay here. You need to be there for when she wakes up.'  
'I'm a doctor for crying out loud, I can be of assistance.'  
'Serena, listen to me, you can't go in there. You know that. You wouldn't be the best person, because you're emotionally invested. You know I'm right.'  
'I can't just stand here and do nothing while she might be dying Fletch. I can't do that to her. I've let her down once before, I can't do it again.'  
'Let her down how?'  
'She tried to call me earlier, and I was too busy to answer the call. When I got her call, it was too late. If I'd answered, things might have been different.'  
'Serena, none of this is your fault. You weren't there. You didn't make the train collapse on her.'  
'No, but I could have been there for her. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.'  
'You can do exactly what you just said- be there for her.'  
'I'm not going to that chance Fletch. I'm not going to be able to. I'm going to lose her, I can feel it.'

Not caring where she was, Serena started crying hysterically in the middle of AAU. Fletch put his arm around her and steered her into her office. There'd been enough gossip and hearsay spreading around the hospital about Serena kissing girls and making them cry, without people seeing her crying over a girl. Putting Serena in her chair, he moved to close the blinds and give them some much needed privacy. 

'Serena, she will be fine. I know you're worried, but she will be fine. She wasn't majorly hurt, she's probably in a lot of pain and collapsed because of that.'  
'I don't know. I've never seen her look like that before.' Serena knew the image of Bernie lying motionless on the floor, would stay with her always, especially at night. It was something she'd never be able to shake off.  
'Serena..'  
'Fletch, please. I can't deal with this right now. Please, please, just leave me alone.'  
'Are you sure you'll be okay?'  
'Yes, I'm sure.' 

Fletch left the office and Serena alone. She needed to regain control of her thought process. Bernies return had all she'd been waiting for the last eight weeks and everything had happened so fast today. She'd come back, told each other how they felt, and she'd come rhis close to losing her. Serena knew that Bernie was a fighter but she didn't know if it was enough. 

Half an hour past, and Raf appeared at the door.  
'Is she..?'  
'What? Dead? No, of course not Serena's She had a lot of pressure on her spine and some internal bleeding. We stemmed it, she's going to be fine. Morven is just draining the fluid from her spine now. She'll be okay.'  
Relief escapes Serena through her mouth as she let out a moan. She put her arms around Raf, wrapping him in a hug.  
'Thank you.' 

Raf smiled. He had been the first one who knew Serena and Bernies friendship had been more than it appeared, and it was he who Serena had confided in about her feelings for her.  
'Is she okay?'  
'I said she will be. For now, we have to watch and wait. Hope she regains consciousness soon rather than later. Cause she did lose a lot of blood, but I see no reason she won't be okay.'

Serena was so glad that Bernie was going to be okay, but as to whether Bernie and Serena could ever move forward in spur of everything holding them back. Only time would tell.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is in recovery, what happens when she wakes up??  
> First introduction to Morven as well. But main interaction between Bernie and Serena.

14\. Recovery

Raf popped his head around the cubicle curtain.  
'Hey Morven, how's she doing?'  
'She's okay. Everything normal. She'll coming round slowly. Be back in the land of the living soon. Going to be in a lot of pain though.'  
'Is she upto visitors?'  
'Oh, I should think so.'  
'Okay, I'll let Serena know.'  
'Raf, is there something going on between the two of them?'  
'Why do you ask that?'  
'Because, well, you know what Serena was like when Bernie just went to Kiev without saying goodbye. It's like she was a broken woman. I always thought she was this strong, brilliant woman but I saw a different part of her. Shouting at people, distant with everyone. It wasn't the same with her. We couldn't be the team we once were. And now Bernies back and Serena is being all weird today, even more so than usual. You know what I mean.'  
'Morven, it's between the two of them. If they want to tell anyone what's going on between them, then they can, but it's nobody's business and nobody should be gossiping or having an opinion on things they don't understand.'  
'Raf, I wasn't angling for gossip. I was just genuinely worried for Serena. She's been such a friend to me the last few months, after Arthur, and now I wanted to see if I could repay the favour.'  
'Morven...'

'I love her.' The three words from Serena were laced with affection. Raf stopped mid sentence and turned around to see Serena standing inside the cubicle. They all just stood there, trapped in that single moment. Morven and Raf stood staring at Serena, who was watching Bernie. Serena couldn't help thinking how peaceful she looked.  
'Serena, what you just heard...' Morven started to explain herself, but Serena put a hand up to silence her.  
'Morven, it's okay, you don't need to apologise. I get it. I wasn't the same with her gone. You're right, I was broken. I know what needed to be fixed. I lost my drive and inspiration so lost my fight and passion for the job. I was shouting and distant because I couldn't handle all the emotions I was experiencing. But now I know. The reason I was like that. I lost my inspiration. Cause it's her. She's everything to me. I only realised today when I came this close to her. She's my inspiration, my very reason for coming to work every day. Has been for a while, I just never realised it. And when she wakes up, I need to tell her. She inspired me to be a better person and I love her so much.'  
'Serena, do you mean that?' came the reply from the bed, as Bernie opened her eyes and focussed them on Serena.  
'Bernie, you're awake.' Serena rushed to her bedside and sat down on the edge of the bed.  
'Yeah, ow, what happened, where am I?' 

Bernie was dazed and confused as to what had happened. The last thing she remembered was stopping in the corridor because of her backpain. Then she thought she heard Serena shouting her name but couldn't be sure. Maybe it was a figment of her imagination. But she knew she'd just heard what Serena had said.  
'You collapsed in the corridor. I thought you were dead. Thought I was going to lose you.'  
'I remember stopping. I didn't want to see me in pain, like this. It's not fair. Can you answer my question? Did you mean what you just said?'  
'Look, we'll give the two of you some space. Raf, come on. Good to have you back with us Bernie.' Morven and Raf had picked the opportune moment tonleave the cubicle. Whatever was being said was between them two in private, nobody else should be involved. 

'Serena, the silent treatment isn't exactly giving me confidence. Just tell me. I can take it. I know I didn't imagine what you said. I'm your inspiration, really?...'

She wasn't taken aback as Serena leant down and kissed her fresh on the lips. It was the first embrace that she'd initiated between the two of them since she'd got back. Reaching her hands up into Serena's hair and pulling her closer, Bernie responded with such passion, it almost knocked Serena over. They kissed like that for a few seconds before Bernie winced in pain, and Serena broke the contact, looking concerned.  
'Are you okay?'  
'Yeah I'm fine. More than fine actually. Where did that come from?'  
'Does that answer your question? I'm not in the habit of saying things I don't mean. You're everything to me, you need to know that. You're the reason I get up in the morning, and love coming to work. I love the fact, when something good happens, you're the first person I want to tell. I want you to be in no doubt of my feelings for you, and I don't care who knows anymore. I love you.'  
'I love you too, but things aren't going t be a bed of roses now are they Serena?'  
'Things never have been regarding us have they?'  
'But, look at me.'  
'I am.'  
'I mean, look at me. This isn't what you signed up for. This isn't fair on you. I don't want you to feel obliged to be here...'  
Serena put a finger to Bernies lips silencing her mid-flow.  
'I'm here with you. Don't for a second doubt that. I'm here with you every step of the way.'  
Bernie realised Serena had repeated exactly word for word what she'd said to her in theatre earlier that day, and just sat there staring at her.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've reached the point of no return. What happens next?

15\. Ex Talk

Enclosed in the bubble for a moments, Serena suddenly realised she couldn't lose her. She had come too far with Bernie to just turn around and walk the other way. She was just wary of opening up to Bernie again in case of getting hurt She didn't know what she had to do but she resolved to make Bernie stay and face her demons.

Bernie sensed that Serena was debating what to say next. She knew they'd reached the point of no return, and now they had to talk about where they went from here- whether it's as a couple or just friends and colleagues. But Bernie had a feeling that after everything that had happened that day, they couldn't just go back to what they used to be.  
'Bernie, I meant every word I just said. Please don't for a second think I didn't. I can't lose you, you mean too much to me. You need to know that.'  
'Serena, I know that believe me. You have done what I thought no one ever could. Saved me from myself. Loved me when all I did was hurt you. When you said you'd sort things with my children if anything happened to me, you have no idea how much that meant to me. Thank you.'  
'Bernie, you know I would have. I love you.'  
'I love you too.' 

 

'So, where do we go from here?' Serena asked  
'Believe me, if I could say that we're going to be so happy and everything is going to be a bed of roses I would. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen. But I love you, I want to be with y you. Properly this time.'  
'I want to be with you too.'  
'So, what about your trust issues?'  
'You have to show me you mean what you say. I mean, you could be saying this and thinking something completely different. I can't get hurt again. I know I couldn't take it again.'  
'Serena, I can't promise I won't hurt ku again, but I can promise I'm not going anywhere. I want to be as open with you as I can about everything. This is so strange for me.'  
'For you? You've been through this with Alex before.'  
'Serena, believe me. I thought I was in love with Alex.'  
'You thought? That doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. How do we know you don't think you love me?'  
'Listen to me. What I have with you, I never had with Alex. I just had a physical attraction with her and it was more about the danger. Me and you connect on so many more levels. I don't know else to explain it, other than like this. I don't just love you, I'm in love with you, emotionally. You have to believe me.'  
'And you never felt like this for Alex?'  
'Serena, Alex is nothing to me anymore. You're the only one I want to be with. I need you to know that. You have to believe me.'  
'I do believe you, and I feel the same. I've never felt like this about anyone.'  
'Not even Robbie?'  
'Robbie?'  
'Jason mentioned him earlier. Guessing he's back on the scene right?'  
'He was.'  
'Was? What does that mean?'  
'While you were away, he came back. Her wanted me to give him another chance. Wanted to give things another go. Honestly, I was lonely...'  
'What happened?'

Bernie was suddenly terrified of what she might hear. Normally her reaction was to run away from anything that remotely caused her distress. How would she handle Serena's answer?'  
'Bernie, nothing happened. You know me better than that. I still care about him, I told him as much. But I told him there was someone else I was in love with, meaning you. I said that it wasn't logical and didn't make sense, because it isn't. I told you, I've never felt like this about anyone before.'  
Bernie reached out and grabbed Serena's hand  
'I believe you, I really do. Maybe this could be a clean break for us.'  
'Raf said neither of us are blameless. He said we should draw a line in the sand and move on together.'  
'Wise words? Are you going to listen to him?'  
'I think so. I can't lose you.'  
'So what happens now?'


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what happens now? That's the question. Read on to find out more

16\. Nothing will change that. Ever. 

'What happens now?' Serena asked Bernie  
'That's what I just asked you.' Bernie replied laughing  
'Yes I know, I was more thinking out loud? If you mean right now, I've got to go back to work, and you've got to rest up. I'll come and see you later.'  
'Serena, you know exactly what I meant. I meant, like, in terms of us?'  
'I know, I'm only joking with you. Well there's an us now. That feels so strange to say it.'  
'I know. But it's a good weird right?'  
'Yeah.'  
'I'll get used to it pretty quickly I think to be honest. It's something I've wanted for so long. Me and you, a chance at something Serena.'  
I know. I feel the same. You know I do.'

Serena leant forward and kissed Bernie. This kiss was different to the other ones they'd shared that day. It was the first one of them officially as a couple. This kiss wasn't full of passion as their others had been- it was slow and meaningful, almost as if they were getting used to the feel of each other again.

After a few minutes, Serena broke away and covered Bernies hands with her own.  
'Anyway, I really should get back to the office. I'll come and see you later, after shift. Then we can talk about where we go next.'  
Serena got up and made to exit the cubicle.  
'Serena?'  
'Mm?'  
'You know I love you right?'  
'Yes, I think you might have mentioned that to me once or twice.'

Serena left the cubicle and walked back to her office. Leaving the door ajar, she sat down and just smiled to herself. She couldn't believe this was happening. Her and Bernie finally together- after everything that had happened, everyone that had inadvertently kept them apart. It was all in vain. Bernie was all she wanted- whether that meant caring for her when she was in pain, working in tandem with her on AAU or bonding over a drink in Albies. She was deeply and passionately in love with her, and nothing would change that. Ever. 

Bernie sat up in her bed and stared through the gap in the curtains towards the office. Serena, Serena, god how much she loved her. She didn't deserve her, but she knew she was going to spend the rest of her days making Serena know just how much she was loved. Coming back today, this had definetley not been on the cards. She had hoped st best to get Serena to understand why she left and made the decision she had. Never in a million years had she expected that by the close of play they'd been together as an official couple. After everything they'd experienced, Bernie finally had something to look forward to. Serena was all she wanted- whether that was working in tandem with her on AAU, sharing a glass of Shiraz in the office or being there for her and Jason when they needed her. She was completely and utterly in love with her and nothing would change that. Ever.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, they've become officially a couple. Where next?  
> Read on to find out.

17\. Nightmares 

The rest of the shift passed by with no major interruptions. The red phone had only rang once and when it had, Bernie had been moved to another ward so that a trauma patient could have her bed. Serena couldn't wait for 5 o clock to roll around so she could go and be with Bernie. Serena had never been so happy in herself, and this comfortable being who she was.

As soon as five o'clock struck, Serena was out of the ward on a gust of wind and in the lift down to see Bernie immediately. She wondered how was she was feeling, whether she was up to visitors and when she might be discharged. 

Upon reaching the ward, she was told Bernie was asleep. Peeping round the door of her side room, Serena could see dead to the world. Her hair tousled, falling all over her face as it always had was instantly recognisable. Bernie looked younger, at peace when she was asleep. Serena had never watched anyone while they were asleep, but she became fascinated watching Bernie. Serena couldn't get over how vulnerable she looked. Sitting down in the chair next to the bed, Serena debated whether she should go and leave Bernie to sleep, but then decided to stay. She wanted to be there when Bernie woke up. There was no where else in the world she'd rather be. 

About half an hour later, Serena was reading an action plan for Ric when she heard Bernie elicit a cry. Glancing over, she could see Bernie was convulsing in her sleep and she began to scream. She was obviously having some sort of nightmare.  
'No, no, no please. I can't. Don't make me.' She kept screaming the same three sentences over and over again. Jumping out of her chair, Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie. Pulling Bernies head onto her shoulder, she whispered.  
'Bernie, Bernie, it's okay. I'm here. I love you. Everything's going to be okay.' Bernie gradually got quieter and stopped moving around. She settled on Serena's shoulder and fell back to sleep. Serena wondered how often she had these nightmares and how frightening they were to her. 

Serena was quite shocked at how much she liked having Bernies head on her shoulder. It was so comforting to know she'd fallen asleep and wasn't having nightmares while she wasn't there. Serena wanted to stop the nightmares so much- all she wanted to do was protect Bernie from anything and everything that might hurt her. Serena shifted position a little, so she was a bit more comfortable. She slipped an arm around Bernies shoulder, pulling her even closer to her.  
Kissing the top of her head, Serena whispered to Bernie just how much she loved her and what she meant to her.

45 minutes later, a nurse came in to take Bernies observation and stopped in the doorway. Bernies head was exactly where it had been before, but Serena's had now lolled on top on hers and they were both sleeping into each other. Serena's arm was still around Bernies shoulder and her hands were holding Bernies. The nurse felt it was almost as if they were enclosed in their own little bubble and backed out of the room, resolving not to wake either of them and let them sleep on.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both wake from their sleep. And have the conversation about where they go from here.

18\. Stay With Me

It was Bernie who woke up first with a crick in her neck. She blinked feriously as the harsh light of day streamed through the blinds in her room. She realised she was leaning on something, and as she moved her head she realised it was Serena. Without even realising it, they'd both slept the entire night in the hospital. Bernie moved her head from Serena's chest and just stared at the woman she loved. Bernie had no recollection of Serena coming to see her last night. She had a vague memory of someone holding her and almost rocking her back to sleep, but she was unsure if it had been a dream. 

Serena opened her eyes and immediately realised that she'd slept through the night. Glancing to the side of her she saw Bernie staring and smiling at her. Returning her smile, she sat up properly and kissed her deeply. Bernie was still smiling, almost grinning like a Cheshire Cat when she broke away.  
'Hey you. Glad to see your back in the land of the living.'  
'Me? You're the one that was asleep all night. But glad to see your awake again. How you feeling?'  
'I'm okay. Actually I'm great, now you're here with me.'  
'There isn't anywhere else I would rather be. Trust me.'

Serena got up off the bed. As she put the weight on her feet, she felt giddy. Almost legless, after one too many glasses of Shiraz.  
'Are you drunk Serena?'  
'Just with love Bernie, just with love.'  
Bernie laughed affectionately, making out to push her hair out of her eyes so she could see Serena properly. As she reached up to her face, Serena caught her hand and gave her one of those smiles that made Bernies inside turn to goo.  
'So, have they said when youre coming home?'  
'Nobody has had chance have they? Cause we've been sleeping on each other all night. Speaking of which, what are you doing here anyway?'  
'I told you I was coming to see you later. But when I came down, you were asleep. Then you had a nightmare of some sort. 8 couldn't watch you convulsing and screaming so I calmed you down and then I fell asleep on you myself. Sorry.'  
'Serena, what are you apologising for? I don't mind. That was you that put me to sleep?'  
'You remember it?'  
'Vaguely.'  
'Of course I did. Bernie, I couldn't just watch you suffering like that. It was killing me to see you like that.'  
'I've had nightmares for years. Ever since I joined the army. Become part of territory, no pun intended there.'  
'Well, it was a shock for me to see you like that. Do you always scream?'  
'I don't know. I'm never awake to know.'  
'Well I'm here now, and if you ever have any again, I'm always going to be here.'  
'I love you so much.'  
'I love you too, I'm not wanting to ruin this moment, but I really must go to the bathroom. I'll be as quick as I can.' Kissing Bernie lightly on the cheek, she walked out the room. Bernie lay back on her pillows smiling to herself.

When Serena came back from the bathroom, the doctor was in talking to Bernie. Sensing it was private, she waited for him to leave and then walked in afterwards.  
'Hey, where did u get to? I thought you'd fallen down the plug hole or something?'  
'You were talking so I thought I should wait outside.'  
'Serena, you're part of me now. You could have come in, I wouldn't have minded. Anyway, he was just talking about me being able to go home soon.'  
'What? Today?'  
'He said that's a possibility, but he's worried in case I have a relapse about me being on my own. He forgets I'm a trauma surgeon, but I know he's doing his job- our job.'  
'Well, can you go home?'  
'He said I could go today if i had someone to look after and stay with. Just as a precaution, I told him I had no-one and I would be fine on my own.'  
'What about Cameron?'  
'Somehow, I hardly think he wants his old Mum crashin his style. And Charlotte, well she's not spoken to me in months. I have no other family.'  
'You have me, me and Jason. Stay with us, I can look after you. If you want to that is.'  
'Stay with you? Seriously?  
'Bernie. I'm deadly serious. I mean it. Get discharged. Come and stay with me, until your 100%.'

Bernie remained speechless. She hadn't been angling for an invitation to stay st Serena's. But there was so many possibilities. What if Jason didn't approve? What if things went wrong between them? Those two words agin, with such brute power and force wee plaguing Bernies mind- almost haunting it.  
'Bernie, what's wrong? Talk to me.'  
'Serena..'  
'If you don't want to..'  
'No, it's not that I don't want to.'  
'Then what is it? Please Bernie, talk to me.'  
'What will Jason say? What if we rush into things now and they go wrong down the line. I really really don't want to mess this up.'  
'Let me handle Jason, and as for rushing into things, im not suggesting we get married and elope together or anything. Simply let me look after you. I love you, please let me look after you.'  
'I love you too.'  
'Then please, stay with me.'  
'I'd love to.'

Bernie reached over and kissed Serena, who then went out to inform the doctor of Bernies new found living arrangements.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie goes back to stay with Serena and Jason. It's the start of a whole new chapter for the two of them. How will things develop between the two of them?

19\. Home

Later that afternoon, Bernie was ready to be discharged. She was just waiting for her ride home to arrive. Serena had been rushing around like a headless chicken all day between AAU and seeing Bernie. She has informed Jason that Bernie would be staying with them, and he was happy for that to happen, as long as his routine and schedule wasn't interrupted. Bernie was full of anticipation and worry at the prospect of staying with Serena. She didn't want to blow things between them before they'd really got started. 

'Hey.' Serena pushed open the door to Bernies room and could see the woman was deep in thought.  
'Oh, hey.'  
'You ok?'  
'Yes, yes, I'm fine.'  
'Bernie, I know that face, what's wrong?'  
'It's just, I don't want to ruin things between us before we even get started. I love you too much to do that to us'  
'Bernie, will you stop worrying? Let's get you back to mine, and we'll have a talk then.'  
'Ok.'

The drive back to Serena's was filled with disjointed silence. Serena almost felt as if Bernie had closed herself to her again. She didn't know what was going through her mind but she wished that Bernie would trust herself enough to open up to her. Pulling up outside, Bernie glanced over at Serena. Serena gave her a reassuring smile and put her hand in hers.  
'Come on, we don't bite.' Serena was rewarded with a small smile. They got out of the car and walked up to the house together, still hand in hand. 

Opening the door, Serena lead Bernie over the threshold.  
'Auntie Serena, Bernie?' Jason's voice floated through from the living room  
'Yes Jason, its us.'  
'You're one minute late. Dinner must be put on straight away, so I can watch Pointless and Eggheads.'  
'I'm sorry Jason, I will do it straight away.' Serena walked through the hallway and entered the kitchen. Bernie followed her, almost like a shadow, no wanting to be without her for a moment.  
'Do you want some help?'  
'No, you're supposed to be resting. Why don't you go and sit in the living room with Jason? And then we'll have a talk after we've eaten?'  
'Okay.' Bernie walked through the adjoining door to the living room and stood awkwardly in the doorway.  
'Bernie? 'You know about soilders right?'  
'Yes Jason, but not everything, why do you ask?'  
'Can you help with this question on Millionaire?'  
Bernie walked over and sat herself on the sofa next to Jason and saw that he was watching an episode of Who Wants To Be. A Millionaire?

Serena heard laughter coming from the living room and smiles to herself. Whatever had been bothering Bernie seemed to have vanished. She knew she would never get tired of hearing her laugh. Her free spirit was one of the many things she loved about Bernie. She hopes that staying here for a while might help Bernie open up to her and help Serena to let down her guards as well, not because they were holding them back; but because she knew they could never be who they truly were with each other, until they embraced who they were themselves.

*********************************

The evening passed in a rather pleasent matter. Serena enjoyed seeing Bernie and Jason answer questions on the various quiz shows. It was nice to see them getting on so well, particularly because half the time, she didn't know many of the answers herself. At ten o clock precisely, Jason stood up and bid them both goodnight, and left the room closing the door behind him. Serena waited until she heard the creaking of the stairs before going to sit beside Bernie on the sofa.  
'That nephew of yours is amazing Serena, he really is. He really doesn't mind me being here does he?'  
'No, this might be hard for you to hear, but we both want you here. I want to look after you, and make sure you're okay. Because I care about you, you know that right?'  
'Serena, I care about you as well, and you know how much. I'm just worried we're rushing into things by me staying here. I mean, we've only been together for a day.'  
'Bernie, do you think I would have asked you to stay if I wasn't sure it was for the best? I know we've barely got started, but we've both been around the block enough times to know something's real and long lasting, and this, me and you, we know that it is. Please stop worrying.'

Bernie suddenly reached over and gave Serena a kiss with such passion and force, it knocked them both backwards. Serena responded immediately and wrapped her arms around Bernies beck, pulling her ever closer to her. It was almost as if they were addicted to the taste of each other's lips. They couldn't get enough of them when they were in contact with each other. 

Kissing like that for a while, they both enjoyed the freeness and outlet for their pent up emotions, before Bernie pulled back, restraining herself at wanting to take things further at this precise moment in time.  
'I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that.'  
'Bernie, why on earth are you apologising?'  
'I don't know, this is your home, I feel like I'm intruding.'  
'When will you get it into your brain, no you're not. We want you to stay, I want you to be safe, I want to look after you, I want you.'  
'I can't help how I feel. It just feels like I'm out of place here.'  
'You're not. You fitted in right with us tonight. Watching you and Jason tonight, with the quiz shows and the game show answers, it's the most relaxed I've been in so long. I don't want that feeling to ever end. You're too important.'  
Serena grabbed Bernies hand and pulled it into her lap, covering the top of it worn her other hand. They just sat silently for a moment, before they both stifled a yawn and started to laugh.  
'Ok, I'm rather tired.'  
'Me too, I've had a very very long few days. I don't think my body has adjusted to the time difference fully yet.'  
'I'm going to up to bed. Would you like to sleep here or in the spare room?'  
'I don't know, I had been thinking, what if?'  
'What if I asked you to share a bed with me? Well the thought has crossed my mind, but I didn't want to scare you, so I didn't.'  
'You really want us to work?'  
Serena squeezed Bernies hand with reassurance 'Of course I do, I love you.'  
'I love you too.'  
'Would you like to share the bed with me? We can have a cuddle?'  
'I'd like that very much'  
'Good.'

Making to move off the sofa, Serena wa pulled back down by Bernie.  
'Wait, I want you to know. All my life, I've felt out of sync with the world, like I never really belonged anywhere. I was stumbling though my life, running away from situations I had no control over. Until I came to Holby. Being on AAU had changed me so much. I know now, running away wasn't the right thing to do, because I ran away from the place I calls part of my home. But now I think, it's more than that. I think wherever you are Serena, that's my home.'

Serena gave Bernie a slow and meaningful kiss and whispered thank you, before they both got up and walked up the stairs hand in hand.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'A soulmate is your best friend.'  
> Baring this in mind when I wrote this chapter. The last chapter in my fanfiction. Thank you all for the amazing comments

20\. Happiness

They both woke up at the same time. Almost as if they were afraid to be asleep without the others presence beside them.  
'Hello.'  
'Hey, how are you feeling this morning'  
'I'm okay. Better than okay actually, because you're here beside me. That was the best night sleep I've had in ages.'  
Serena moved closer to Bernie and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into her body. Hugging her brought her so much comfort and happiness, it was strange just how domesticated they seemed to be together. Domestic bliss? Serena was unsure, but she suddenly wanted every morning to start like this one. 

'Are you working today?'  
'I'm supposed to be, but I spoke to Ric yesterday, and he said, have the day off, so I could be with you.'  
'Does he know? About us?'  
'Yes, he knew for a while actually. I told him I had feelings for you long before I admitted it to you, and he said he knew there was something going on.'  
'It's weird. Everyone seemed to think it before we did.'  
'I know, Raf, Morven..'  
'Cameron.'  
'Cameron? Did you tell him something?'  
'No, he knew me and you had a special kind of bond. He told me as much, he said I had someone new, and i said you were just a friend and work colleague. Because at the time you were. But now, you're so much more.'  
'What am I to you now?'  
'My best friend, my lover, I don't know what words to use. No words can describe what you are to me. You're everything.'  
'I think I know a word. My soulmate? Does that sound creepy? Considering we've only just got together.'  
'No, I love the sound of that. After all, you're soulmate is your best friend. And that is exactly what happened for us. I fell for my best friend.'  
'As did I.'

They continued to lay there, basking in each other's warmness and love. Their happiness was glowing off both of them, it was plain for anyone to see. They were so in love with each other, and they knew whatever life through at them, whatever twists and turns they had in store for each other- they could handle anything, as long as they were honest and open with each other. They could handle anything, together.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is almoat recovered at Serena's. When she returns to work, she and Serena have to learn to navigate the running of AAU with their relationship. How will it go? And what will happen to their domestic situation they've both become accustomed to?

21\. Normality

10 days later and Bernie was almost fully recovered. The time had flown way to fast for her liking. Her, Serena and Jason had become settled into a routine. Every morning she would wake up in the arms of the gorgeous brunette she'd come to love so much. At first, Serena had insisted on making Bernie breakfast in bed, ordering her to stay in bed and not move. It wasn't like Bernie to take orders, but she had come to love the assertive side of Serena- she was rather sexy when she was ordering Bernie around.

For the first couple of days, Bernie had felt rather uncomfortable at being left alone in Serena's house, whilst her and Jason were at work. But Serena had told her that it was her home as well now, so she slowly started to feel as if she was integrating. During the day, she filled her time with watching the tv, mainly documentaries and quiz shows- Jason's obsession with them had rubbed off on her. She'd also spent time surfing the internet and cleaning the house. Housework had never been Bernies strong point, but wanting to take some of the workload off Serena when she came home, so she'd taken to teaching herself everything she needed to know about being as she called it 'domesticated'. If only Cameron and Charlotte could have seen her, they wouldn't have believed it. 

The evenings were her favourite part of the day. Jason and Serena would return at five thirty on the dot every night, so as not to disrupt his schedule and routine. Serena would insist on making dinner; while she and Jason would put the recorded episode of Pointless on, and then watch Eggheads. They would then sit down and have dinner, almost as if they were a normal family, before returning to the living room. Certain nights Jason would want to watch certain shows. Bernie had been surprised to discover that he and Serena shared a love of The Great British Bake Off. Jason also loved watching The Apprentice. The little things like watching Jason shouting at the tele about the candidates lack of brains, made her smile.

At 10 o clock, Jason retired to bed. This was when her and Serena had become more intimate and personal with each other. Bernie felt as if, in the last 10 days, they'd become closer than they had in the 7 months they'd worked together. She'd got to know so much about her and in return she's opened up to the brunette about her life as well. Bernie had surprised herself with how much she'd opened up to Serena and how much she'd changed since meeting her. Changed for the better she hoped. 

But now, Bernie feared that everything was coming to an end. She'd fully recovered and tomorrow she was returning to work. Whilst she was glad to be returning to the hospital and her AAU family, she was dreading leaving Serena's home and returning to her own flat. She wanted to stay, she didn't quite realise how much she'd grown to love staying here, until it was all about to be snatched away from her. She wanted to stay so much, but how would she broach the subject with Serena. What would she say? Would she think that things were moving too fast? What would she do now?


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie returns to AAU. Raf senses she's not quite herself and presses her to take matters into her own hands. She's too scared to, so Raf decides he must play Cupid. What will the result be?

22\. Raf to the Rescue

The next day brought around a mixed bag of emotions for Bernie. She was so excited to be returning to AAU, but she was dreading the moment Serena told her that their living arrangements were coming to an end. 

As she got out of the car with Jason and Serena, she was hit by a mass of emotion. Looking up at the building, she could feel tears building up in her eyes. She didn't realise how much she'd missed working in this building. Serena didn't have to say anything to her. She could see how hard this was hitting her. Without saying a word, she walked over to Bernie and slipped her hand in hers. Giving her hand a squeeze, she wanted to give Bernie the reassurance that she was here for her every step of the way.  
'You okay?'  
'Just feels weird being here. My first proper day back, without the drama of seeing you, you know?'  
'Bernie, it will be fine. AAU isn't the wilderness. We're here to run the ward together. We can do this. I'm right by your side, don't worry.'  
Bernie squeezed Serena's hand and took a deep breath, as they walked up to the hospital together. 

Upon reaching the doors of AAU, Bernie dropped Serena's hand. Bernie pulled Serena back around the corner.  
'Bernie, what are you doing?'  
'Serena, do you want everyone talking about us? If we walk in there hand in hand, people will start talking.'  
'And? Let them. I don't care. We've been through so much, if people have nothing better do than talk about us. All I want to focus on is running this wars with you by my side. Unless you're not ready for people to know? Then we don't have to tell anyone.'  
'Serena, the only person I care about is you. If you're happy for people to know, then let's do it.'  
'Yeah?'  
'Yeah.'  
'So we're doing this?'  
'Yes, so what are we waiting for?'  
'Nothing, let's do this.' 

Hand in hand, they both walked into AAU together. Without speaking a work to anyone, they walked into the office. They couldn't help notice that some people stopped what they were doing and stared at them as they walked in, heads held high, holding hands. Fletch and Raf were at the nurses station and couldn't help smiling.  
'Finally, after all this time.'  
'I know, hopefully they've had enough drama for a while and we can have a nice calm day.'  
'Fletch, this is AAU and Bernie Wolfe is back in business. I somehow, highly doubt that.'  
'I know, but a man can dream can't he?'  
'Whatever you do, please don't tell Serena you've been dreaming of Bernie, she'll get all territorial on you.'  
Fletch chuckled in response and went to check on one of his patients. 

Most of the morning passed by with no major complications. Bernie had settled back in with no problems. Having Serena there with her, had helped immensely. They were back working in tandem with each other. However, as much as she was loving being in the place she called home, she was dreading the end of shift. She didn't know what Serena wouldn't say about their living arrangements.

As soon as Bernie grabbed a chance doe a minute alone, she was down at Pulses. Nursing a coffee, she didn't know what to do for the best. She didn't want to leave Serena's house, she wanted to stay; but how could she tell her she wanted more after everything Serena had done for her lately? And more to the fact, how would Jason react if she was there permanently? She's grown to love him almost as much as her own son.  
'You okay Bernie?' Raf interrupted her thoughts. Sitting down opposite her, he waited for a response  
'Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking about Serena'  
'Can I just say how happy I am for the two of you. You are so right together. I hope you are together for a very long time. You bring out the best in each other.'  
'I hope that too, that's what I was thinking about.'  
'What?'  
'Me and her, being together.'  
'You're not having regrets are you?'  
'No, no of course not. I love her, I just want us to stay together. But now, I'm scared I'm going to scare her off.'  
'Bernie, why on earth would you think that? The woman loves the bones of you. There's nothing you could say that would do that.'  
'I want us to move in together.'  
'Really? Is that what you're scared of?'  
'Raf, I've been staying with her ever since I got discharged last week. I was so scared about going there, I thought us being that close so soon would be silly, but I've grown to love being there.'  
'Okay, so what's the problem?'  
'She said I could stay until I was better. And now I'm better, I'm scared she's going to throw me out. I don't know what to do.'  
'Talk to her. You want to stay yes?'  
'Raf, being there has changed me so much for the better. Her letting me stay there has changed me. I want to continue to change, with her help. But I'm scared she'll think I'm jumping the gun. That I'm wanting us to run before we can walk.  
'So, what are you going to do?'  
'I don't know, I need to think.'  
'Okay. I'll leave you alone.'

He left Bernie alone to her thoughts and went in search of Serena. He knew they'd needed help to get together in the first place, but it seemed he wasn't done playing Cupid. He wanted to help Serena and Bernie out because he could genuinely see how good they were together. What would Serena say to Bernies worries? And would his trying to help, make things feisty between them because Bernie couldn't go to Serena herself?


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raf seeks out Serena and has a chat with her about Bernie and her fears. What will Serena say when Raf says Bernie wants to keep their living arrangements as they are?

23\. Call Me Cupid

'Serena have you got a minute?'  
'For you Raf, always. Come in.' Raf walked in and closed the door behind him. He didn't know how Serena would take what he was about to say. He had been her confidante about Bernie and know he was Bernies confidante about Serena. He knew his work wasn't done between the two of them. They both were such fierce and feisty individuals to work under, yet they were too scared to tell the other what they were truly feeling because of their fear of hurting the other and vice versa. 

'Mind if I sit down?'  
'No of course not. What can I do for you?'  
'Firstly, I would like to say how happy I am for you and Bernie. Personally it's been a long time coming, and I'm behind you all the way.'  
'Thank you Raf. I don't think I've ever been this content and happy before. I'm just so glad that Bernie is recovered and well. Now we can focus on what's important and that's me and her, together.'  
'She's been staying with you hasn't she? Since she got discharged last week?'  
'Yes, how do you know that?'  
'I've just spoken to her down in Pulses. She was away with the fairies.'  
'She was like that last night over dinner and this morning on the way in. She was obviously nervous about coming back today, but it's turned out fine.'  
'Serena, its more than that. There's more on her mind.'  
'Well, what else could be on her mind? She hasn't said anything to me.'  
'I know and I told her she should, but she said she was scared you'd reject her.'  
'Reject her? Why would she think that? I love her to death, doesn't she know that by now?'  
'Yes, and that's precisely why she won't tell you what's on her mind? She's worried you're going to think you're moving too fast and end things with her.'  
'Raf, we'd been together for only a day and suddenly I was asking her to come and stay with me. She was so worried about it. I did my best to reassure her. What could be faster than that?'  
'How have you found having her there?'  
'I've loved every single second of it. Watching her and Jason bond has been the best thing ever. Besides Elinor they are the two most important in my life, and watching them get bond has been such a joy to watch. That's one of the reasons I love Bernie so much. She's accepted me for who I am, all my faults, and more importantly, she's accepted Jason for who he is. I've lover having her staying with us. Shame it's going to come to an end now though.'  
'Why? Do you want her to go?'  
'Of course not, but the way she was with me when I first suggested it, I bet she can't wait to be out and back in her own personal space. I just want her to be happy and she wants her own space, that's okay.'  
'Serena, that is the opposite of what she wants.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'She doesn't want to leave. She wants to stay'  
'Stay as in permanently?'  
'Her words to me were she wanted you to move in together. She was just worried about mentioning it with you.'  
'Why?'  
'I don't know. She said how much she's changed since staying at yours, and she wanted to continue to change with your help.'  
'Seriously? She said that?'  
'Serena, she didn't want to alienate you i think. I don't know what kind of changes you've made to her, but she seems so much more relaxed and happy within herself. Go and find her. Talk to her.' 

Serena got up out of her chair and wrapped Raf in a hug.  
'Thank you.'  
'You're welcome.'  
'For everything. For telling me what she said, being there when she'd gone. You've been amazing.'  
'It's my pleasure. Just call me Cupid. Now, go and find her.'  
Serena left the office and Raf behind her as she went out in search of Bernie.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena finds Bernie on the way back to AAU. They try and break the news to each other that they want to move in, but what happens?

24\. Move In

Serena set off down the corridor with a new spring in her step. Bernie didn't want to leave, why hadn't she said something? Serena knew people might think they were moving too fast but for once, she didn't care. She loved Bernie and she wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together, without caring who knew about it.

Bernie was on her way back to AAU. She still didn't know what to do with regards to Serena and their living arrangements. She really didn't think she could cope if she had to go, but she didn't want to broach the subject with Serena for fear of being rejected. She loved Serena and she wanted them to spend the rest of their lives together, but without alienating Serena in the process.

They both turned into the corridor at the same time; both rounded the corner and stopped dead in their tracks. They were at opposite ends of the corridor and neither one was bold enough to make the first move. They just there, locked in eye contact and rooted to the spot. Serena sensed Bernie's hesitation so she decided to take the first step. Seeing Serena walking towards her, Bernie nervously started to walk towards her too. That corridor could have been the longest corridor in the world, but they kept edging closer to each other.

When they finally came together, Serena grabbed Bernies clasped hands and pulled her into the side room off the corridor. Locking the door behind them, she wanted complete distraction from the outside world. In this moment, just her and Bernie mattered. Watching Serena lock the door made Bernie nervous. What was she going to say to her that requires being shut off from the rest of the world?  
'Bernie, I think we should talk.'  
'Talk? About what?'  
'Us'  
'Us?'  
'Yes.'  
'Are you going to finish things with me?'

Slightly taken aback, Serena could see the worry built up in Bernies face. Wanting to reassure her, she walked the two steps to close the gap and kissed her passionately. Their kisses had become much more frequent and intimate in the last couple of weeks, but Serena still took  
Bernies breath away every time she initiated physical contact between the two of them. She knew she would never get tired of kissing that beautiful face.

Drawing back after a moment, Serena grabbed Bernies hands and walked over to the sofa.  
'Does that answer your question. Why would I finish with you. I love you, you silly cow.'  
'I don't know, just the look in your eyes and the fact you wanted to talk about us.'  
'Well not specifically us, more about our living arrangements.'  
Fear began to rise up in Bernie. This was the moment she'd been dreading- the moment when Serena told her she wanted her to move out.  
'I want you to stay.'  
'Serena, I don't want to go. I want to stay...Come again?' Bernie has rushed into a reply before registering what Serena had said to her. Stopping mid sentence she processed those five words and a smile spread across the face.  
'You heard me. I want you to stay.'  
'Permanently?'  
'Yes. And before you say anything, I know it's what you want to. Raf spoke to me. He was worried about you. So, what do you say. Move in with me and Jason?'  
'I'd love to. Raf is an angel. God I could kiss him.'  
'Excuse me. The only person you're going to kiss right now is me.'  
'Your wish is my command.'

With a breath, Bernie flushed her lips against Serena's. Curling her legs up on the sofa, she pulled Serena back with her. They just needed to feel close to each other and they couldn't get enough of kissing each other. Pausing to catch breath for a second Bernie drew back and rubbed her hand against Serena's cheek, almost caressing it.  
'When your near me, all I want to do is kiss you. When you smile at me, I ache inside. If our kisses are anything to go by, then when we do go to the next level, I'm expecting fireworks.'

Serena smiled at Bernie, but Bernie could tell she was thinking about something else.  
'Penny for them?'  
'What? Oh no, I was just thinking about that as well?'  
'What?'  
'You know.'  
'No I don't, unless you tell me.'  
'Sex.'  
'Oh.'  
'Kissing you is one thing. I can do that, and I really enjoy it, but anything else and I don't know what to do. I, I wouldn't know what to do with you, your body.'  
'You make it sound like you're going to cut me up?'  
'If I was, I'd be better prepared. At least I'd know what I was going to do.'  
'Serena, I love you, you love me. We'll figure it out when the time is right. But for your information, I think you'll be just fine.'  
'When you're not around, you're all I think about. You're on my mind every single minute of every single day. When you give me that look.'

Serena knew she'd be doing that look right now. Looking up instinctively, she could see Bernies head to one side, her narrowed eyes regarding her through the tousled messy hair escaping from its tie.  
'That look. Bernie, sometimes I feel I can't breathe when you give it to me. I can't stop myself from thinking about you. And I wouldn't want to.'  
'Serena, it's okay. I'm not complaining. You're on my mind every day as well. You've got Bernie on the brain and I've got Serena under my skin. I don't want this to end between us. It's just starting, and I have no idea where it might lead, but I love you too much for us to not find out. So, let's move in together. And we'll see what life throws at us.'  
'Sounds like a plan to me.'  
'God I love you so much Serena.'  
'And I you Ms Wolfe.'


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary this time. Just have to read and find out.

25\. Settled

The rest of that day passed in a blur. Bernie and Serena were so happy in themselves and that ennimated in the way they ran the ward. Whilst they weren't joined at the hip, they knew that the other would have their back. Serena had to tell Jason that Bernie would be moving in permanently. She wasn't sure how he would react, but he was one of her and Bernies biggest supporters so she couldn't see any reason why it wouldn't fine.

Five o'clock rolled round and Jason appeared at the office door. Serena decided now was as good as time as any. Bernie was just finishing her rounds, so while she waited for her to get back, she decided to tackle the subject head on.  
'Auntie Serena, its five o'clock. Time for us to go. It's fish and chips night.'  
'Jason, come in a minute. I promise, we'll get fish and chips on the way home. I need to talk to you about something.'  
'Have I done something wrong? I have, haven't I?'  
'No, you haven't. How have you found having Bernie staying with us?'  
'I like Bernie. She helps me with the answers on my shows. She's a lot smarter than you.'  
'Well thank you for that. How would you feel if she was to stay with us for good?'  
'I think I'd like that very much. She makes us both happy.'  
'Yes she does.'  
'Does this mean you two are friends again?'  
'Yes'  
'But now you love each other too?'  
'What makes you say that?'

Bernie had walked in mid conversation and heard Jason asking Serena if they were friends again.  
'You're always looking at each other, and finding excuses to touch each other. Auntie Serena, you look at Bernie a lot. And you are quite hard to understand when she is nearby. You get very flustered and your sentences don't always make sense.'  
Serena's eyes widened as she glanced across at Bernie, duly noting the amused look of triumph and the ghost of a smile lingering on the blondes mouth.  
'I hadn't realised I was quite so transparent.'  
'Bernie is just the same. She's always looking at you when you don't realise it, and she gets very flustered when you touch her. I believe these are all signs that show you love one another and should be together as a co-habitant couple.'  
'So, I take it you're okay with me moving in then?'  
'Bernie, you make me schedule hobby better. And I like having you there. Auntie Serena was so miserable before, and now she's happy. That's because of you.'

Glancing at his watch he exclaimed in protest.  
'It's 5:14, we must go or I'll miss pointless. Fish and chips night?'  
'Yes Jason, go and get your coat. Me and Bernie will be out in a minute.'  
'Okay.'  
Watching Jason leave the office, Serena and Bernie burst out laughing.  
'Well I'm glad he approves. He noticed before we did.'  
'Bernie, he's taken to you so well. He also loves having you help him with his quiz shows. He said your smarter than me.'  
'Not smarter, just different.'  
'Now, we should go and find him. We're going to get settled and get along just fine.

Picking up her car keys off the dem and offering her hand to Bernie, she opened the door. Bernie took her hand in an instant and they left the ward the way they'd come in that morning. Together, holding hands.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're both happy and settled in their relationship. It's jumped on in terms of timescale though.

26\. Calm Before The Storm

Two months had passed since Bernie and Serena had moved in together. They'd been virtually inseparable since that day. Serena had never felt so comfortable with anyone before Bernie, and vice versa. They'd had their fair versions of rows and rants with each other, but they always came out the other side stronger. Bernie had been expecting anything but plain sailing but was surprised by the calm seas that had come with the prospect of having found somewhere where she finally belonged. A place she could finally call home.

In the run up to Christmas, Serena and Bernie were rushed off their feet in AAU and sometimes had to stay later than planned. They always made sure however one person could be there for Jason and make sure his schedule wasn't interrupted. Bernie had been upgraded to 'Auntie Bernie' about a month after she'd moved in and the first time Jason had called it her, she'd been unable to keep the smile off her face. She loved him almost as much as her own son, but since Cameron had been working on AAU, their own relationship had improved leaps and bounds. 

The boys had been very accepting of Bernie and Serena as a couple, the girls however, that had been a different story. Charlotte didn't take too kindly to the fact her mother was in another relationship with a woman, and as for Elinor, she refused to accept her Mum was now a lesbian. She thought it was a phase she was going through, and refused to accept Bernie, despite repeated attempts on their side to include her, she wouldn't budge. Serena had come to accept that maybe her and Elinor wouldn't have the best relationship, but for now, all she cared about was Bernie, Jason and AAU.

With Christmas approaching, Bernie and Serena had thought about what they wanted to do. Ideally, they would have liked to spend it together with all their family around them, but their girls refused to play ball. In the end, it was decided that Bernie, Serena and Jason would spend Christmas together and Cameron would come for dinner. He had to go and see his dad and sister. They had both managed to wangle having Christmas Day off work, but Serena was working Christmas Eve and Bernie Boxinf Day. They both had to work over the New Year Period but they didn't mind, because they could see it in together. 

Bernie couldn't help but smile when she thought about how much her life had changed in the last year. She'd had a hole in her heart for years, and being at Holby, it had almost fully healed. She felt like a new person. Bernie could be seen on shift smiling to herself, even whistling at times. Everybody on AAU knew the change had been due to Serena and they couldn't help notice how much of a positive effect they'd both had on the others life. 

Serena couldn't help but smile when she thought about how much she'd changed as a person since Bernie had arrived on AAU. She wouldn't change anything for the world. Bernie had bought the fun and sparkle back into her life. She'd bought parts of her back to life that she thought had died. Serena was so happy, it was plain for everyone to see. Bernie and Serena were fierce individuals on their own, but together, they were a force that couldn't be broken. 

Lying in each other's arms in bed one evening, they reflected on how much they'd changed since being together.  
'If someone had told me last year that I would be lying here the week before Christmas in the arms of my girlfriend, I would never have believed them.'  
'Neither would I. A year can do a lot to a person, it's changed me so much for the better.'  
'Ditto. I can't imagine not having you in my life now. You're such a part of me. Sounds stupid, but you're the piece of me I was missing.'  
'I feel the same. I have spent my life running away. And now, I'm not running anywhere.'  
'Major, even if you ran away, I would follow you to ends of the earth. As long as you were happy, that is all I want.'  
'You and me Serena, that is what makes me happy.'  
'Me too. I love you.'  
'I love you too.'  
'Bernie, I wish you would tell me what you'd got me for Christmas.'  
'Serena! You're worst than when Cameron was little. He was always clamouring to know. And I would always say, no spoilers!'  
'Not even a sneak peak, or a little clue.'  
'No. No clues, no previews. Nothing.'  
'Well I do know one thing.'  
'Oh yeah and what's that.'

Serena reached over and kissed Bernie on the lips before pulling away and wrapping her arms around the blonde.  
'All I Want for Christmas is You.'


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena have their first Christmas as a couple. Will all go to plan?

27\. Presents 

Bernie opened her eyes, blinking in the almost pitch black room. The only glow of light came from the lamp that had been switched on. It took her a moment to remember what day it was- that it was Christmas. She glanced at the clock on her bedside cabinet- 5:55am. She cursed herself for waking up so early. Rolling over she smiled to herself. Serena had a habit of looking beautiful even when she was asleep. She'd been on shift until 11:30 last night, so it wasn't any wonder they were still asleep. 

Sitting up and stretching, her eyes fell on the something at the end of the bed. A present. Curiosity got the better of her and she slipped out of bed. Seeing her name on the label, she decided she couldn't wait. She'd been the one telling Serena no clues, and yet, here in the opposite situation, her inner child hasn't won out and she was shaking the present, trying to guess what might be inside.  
'I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.' Turning around, Bernie saw Serena was awake.  
'I wanted to see if you were a woman of your words, or a woman after my own heart.'  
'Defineltey the latter. Although I already have your heart, don't I?'  
'Completely and utterly Ms Wolfe.'  
'Merry Christmas'  
'Merry Christmas'

The moment was ruined by a knocking on the door. Then came the voice through the door.  
'Auntie Serena. Auntie Bernie. It's 6am. Time to get up. Merry Christmas.'  
'Merry Christmas Jason.' Serena shouted back.  
'Are you coming downstairs? I want to open my presents.'  
'You and me both Jason. Give us 2 minutes, we'll be right down'  
'Okay, 2 minutes, not a second more.'

Five minutes later, they were all dressed and downstairs. Serena had been determined to get Bernie into a Christmas jumper and she'd succeeded. The woman she loved was sat on the sofa next to her wearing a red jumper with a reindeer on it. She knew she would cherish that image of her, along with many others, til the day she died.  
'Can we open our presents now?' Jason couldn't wait any longer.  
'Yes, Jason, go ahead.'  
Jason was nothing if not methodical. He arranged all his presents in size order, and meticulously took his time opening the paper. Serena and Bernie got started on their own piles, both considerably smaller than Jason's. 

They left their presents from each other til last. Bernie has taken so much time on Serena's, she really hope she liked it. She'd wanted it to be something personal. Serena picked up the present, and unwrapped the paper.  
'Bernie, it's beautiful. Thank you so much.'  
Serena was holding a photo frame. The word FAMILY had been written around the outside in Bernies neat penmanship. Inside the photo was mix of black and white photos and coloured ones. Photos from AAU had been spread around the outside. Serena and her AAU family- Raf, Fletch, Morven and Arthur. So many different photos for so many memories. Then there were photos of Elinor and Jason towards the inner of the photo frame, some individual photos and some together with Serena. In the very middle, Bernie has stuck a photo of her, Serena and Jason and enclosed in a heart of red rose petals. 

Serena had had no idea what to get Bernie for Christmas. Nothing would have been able to do justice to her feelings and love for the woman. She really hoped she'd like it. It was considerably smaller than any of the others. Bernie picked it up and unwrapped it to reveal a small black box. Hands trembling, she opened it. It wasn't a ring thank goodness. As much as she loved Serena, she wasn't ready for anything for like that. It was a heart shaped locket. Picking it up, out of the box, she held it up to the light. It was beautiful. Opening it, Bernie could seen there were too photos. On the left was a photo of her and Jason smiling, and on the right was a photo of Cameron and Charlotte. All the people she loved, enclosed in a heart, what could be more perfect. 

They both looked up at each other and their eyes met through an array of emotional tears. Mouthing thank you to each other, their hands found each other in the darkness and grabbed each other, entwining their hands in each other's, never wanting to let go


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas has been and gone. It's New Year. The time for reflection on the year past and making resolutions for the new one about to start.

28\. New Year

Christmas has passed them by in a whirlwind. They'd both so enjoyed the peaceful and relaxing atmosphere at home, compared to some Christmas' that they'd experienced in the past. However, now they were the price. 12 hour shifts from 6pm New Year Eve evening to 6am on New Year Day. That was horrible in anyone's books, but at least theyd both be there together to see the turn of a new year. The symbol of the rest of their lives- together. 

11:30pm. The red phone had been going non stop since they'd both come of shift. There had been a major crash of some sort and the ED was flooded with patients, most of which were being shipped up to the trauma bay. Serena and Bernie knew they were in for a long night, but they knew they could handle anything that came their way. 

Fifteen minutes later, Serena seized the opportunity to grab some alone time in the office. 2016 was almost at an end and what a year it had been for her. When Bernie had arrived on AAU all those months ago, Serena had never imagined that this would be the result. Her, about to see the new year in, with her girlfriend. She never got tired of hearing those words. Girlfriend. The word didn't seem enough to describe her relationship with Bernie. Her best friend, her soulmate. But she liked hearing the sound of it all the same. Serena stood in front of the desks and looked around the office. This was the place. The place everything had happened. Holby had changed her life she came here, and when it had bought Bernie to her, it had given her greatest gift she could ever have asked for. Love.

The pair of arms in their signature Trauma Bay scrubs snaked themselves around Serena's waist and pulled her close. Bernie kissed Serena's neck and then put her head on her shoulder.  
'You okay?'  
'Yes, just feeling a bit emotional tonight.'  
'Why?'  
'Reflecting on what's been probably one of the most stressful and hard years of my life. But by far, the best I've had in a long time. And that's all down to you.'  
'My life's done a complete 180 degree turn since I met you. In the last year, I've divorced my husband of 20 years, lost all contact with my children. Then I helped to set up the trauma unit. Everything's been a kind of whirlwind since then. Til the day I came back. I almost lost everything that day, including my life. That made me realise what was important in my life. You. You have changed me so much. I'm a better person since knowing you. And I love you for it.'  
'I love you too.'

Serena moved away from Bernie, over to the desk and pulled out a bottle of Shiraz and two glasses.  
'Ah. I was wondering when your beloved Shiraz was going to make an appearance.'  
'Well, we may as well start the year as we mean to go on eh?'  
'I wouldn't expect anything less of you.'  
'And so you shouldn't Major.'  
Pouring two glasses, Serena handed one to the partner. As their hands met over the cool metal of the glass, Serena felt a shudder run through her body. It was almost as if Bernie was electricity, and everyrime Serena came into contact with her, she got a shock. The feeling never failed to surprise her, and she knew she would never grow tired of it. 

They heard the clock strike midnight in the distance and patients burst into song. Auld Lang Syne had become an old tradition on AAU. Bernie had walked in on Morven and Fletxh instructing the F1's earlier that evening. 

Raising their glasses, they toasted in the new year, just as they had wanted, alone and together. Just the two of them. Serena found Bernie's hands in the soft light of the office and squeezed them.  
'Happy New Year Bernie.'  
'Oh I have a feeling it's going to be. I love you. Happy New Year Serena.'


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Year has passed. Bernie is planning a surprise for Serena, but she has other things on her mind. Serena hasn't heard from Elinor in a while, until she turns up unnanounced at the hospital.

29\. Proposal 

'Elinor, sweetheart, it's me again. Please let me know you're okay. I know you're mad at me but I haven't heard from you since before Christmas. I need to know you're okay.'  
Serena hung up the phone and sighed.  
'Still nothing from her?'  
'No, and I'm starting to get worried. She's mad at me because of me and you, but I've never gone this long without hearing from her.'

Bernie wished there was something she could do to stop the woman she loved hurting. Sadly, she knew what she was going through. She was still living through it with her own daughter Charlotte. She was still refusing to pick up her calls. Cameron however, continued to keep his mother updated on his sister. At least she knew her daughter was okay.  
'Have you thought about asking Edward?  
'He won't answer my calls either. I think their both doing it to spite me. Because of me and you.'  
'Serena, I love you, but your daughter is more important. She's your flesh and blood'  
'Bernie, she's not going to get her own way now. I'm 51 for crying out loud, I have to be able to have my own life. You're part of me now. She needs to accept it.'  
Bernie grabbed her purse, intending to go and grab them both a coffee. She left the office, but not before she turned to Serena and said  
'You're so sexy when your assertive, a lady of your age.'

Sat at the table in Pulses, Bernie pulled out what she'd been holding on to since just after New Year. The little black box. Despite her reservations over the Christmas period about wanting a ring, she had been unable to stop thinking about it. She loved Serena so much, and she wanted to show her how much.  
'Bernie?'  
Raf interrupted her thoughts.  
'Hi.'  
'Is this seat taken?'  
'No, be my guest.'  
Sitting himself down opposite her, his eyes widened at the sight of the box in front of Bernie.  
'Is that what I think it is?'  
'Yes'  
'So, what's brought this on?'  
'I'm not sure. It just feels right, but we haven't been together that long. I love her so much. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but as to whether she feels the same, I don't know.'  
'Bernie? Are you crazy? Serena would do anything for you. Anybody can see how much you too mean to each other. The ward is fast becoming your love nest, in a manner of speaking. You both cannot stop looking at each other, despite being st opposite ends of the ward. Why would she not feel the same?'  
'I'm not sure now is the right time. She's got so much on her mins right now, predominantly Elinor. She's punishing Serena because she's with me.'  
'Which is precisely why this is the right time. Show Serena that you're committed to her 100% and show Elinor that you're not going to be scared away. You and serena have been through a lot to be where you are now. Don't be a coward.'  
'Thanks, you're right. I need to go and speak to her. Bernie quickly hurried her way towards the lifts, pocketing the ring as she went. 

As soon as she reached AAU, she walked straight into the office. Serena was leaving yet another message for Elinor and she almost sounded distraught. Despite her facade, Bernie could see what this was doing to her. She was so desperately wanting to know her daughter was okay. Bernie walked over and put her arms around her.  
'I wish I could make all this hurt go away. I hate seeing you like this.'  
'You're here. That's enough.'  
'But it's because of me, because of me you're like this.'  
'Bernie, this is not your fault. We didn't choose to fall in love with each other. It just happened. The last 5 months I've been with you are the happiest I've been in ages. I want it to be that way for the rest of our lives.'  
'Do you mean that?'  
'Yes of course. Every word.'  
'Well, that's good, because...'

Deciding that actions speak louder than words, she grabbed the ring out of her pocket, and put it in front of Serena, backing off as she did it. Sensing the woman's surprise she went and sat opposite her, so she could read her face and know what she was thinking. 'Is that what I think it is?' 'Yes.' 'Why now?' 'Why not now? I love you, you love me. Me, you and Jason are so happy. I want to show you just how much I love you. Elinor is wrong about us. We're not just a passing phase. We're the real deal, we're for keeps' 'Bernie, I..' 'Serena, let me finish. I want you to know I'm with you 100%. I'd go to the ends of the earth to make you happy. I want to show you that I've changed. I love you so much, you'll never know how much. I'm asking you, please, consider it. Marry me?' Reaching across the table and grabbing Bernies hands, Serena was overwhelmed with emotion. When she came into work that morning, she had no idea her day would end up like this. She didn't know what to do. She loved Bernie more than anything, but was she ready for such a commitment, such a big step? She'd been married before, so had Bernie, and neither one had worked out. But still, they'd never fallen in love as they had before. They were as strong on their own but they were an unbeatable force when they were together. Sensing Serena's hesitation, Bernie wa about to say something more when the door flew open. Bernie turned her head to see a young woman standing there. 'Elinor!' Serena exclaimed. Bernie dropped Serena's hand instantly, as if had all of a sudden it had become unable to be held.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elinor interrupted them in the middle of a huge moment. She spies the ring on the table and storms off. What happens next

30\. Accident

Serena jumped out of her chair and went to give her daughter a hug. Elinor stepped back from her Mum, putting her arms up in protest  
'No don't. I only came here to tell you to stop leaving me messages. You've made your choice. I'm never a priority'  
'Ellie, I just wanted to know you were okay.'  
'You can see for yourself I'm okay.'  
'You are a priority. I don't get why you can't see that. You're top of my priorities'

Sensing they had more they needed to discuss, Bernie decided to give the two of them some space. Practically running outt of the office, she shut the door behind her. She hoped now would give Serena and Elinor both a chance to sort out their differences.  
'I'm not a priority. You've made that perfectly clear the last few months. It's okay, I get it.'  
'Elinor, stop it. You're behaving like a spilt toddler. I didn't bring you up to be like this.'  
'Bring me up? You cared more about your career than you did me. Dads done a better job with me and you know it.'  
'Stop it. That's not fair and you know it. You're mad because of me and Bernie.'  
'Don't kid yourself Mum. I don't know why I'm even calling you that. Libertys been more of a Mum to me than you have ever been.'

Tears sprung into Serena's eyes. She never thought she'd hear those words from her daughter, and they stung, very badly. Seeing her mum blink back her tears, Elinor stopped. At that exact moment Jason appeared at the door.  
'Auntie Serena, I want to ask you about fish and chips night.' He walked in and saw Elinor standing there.  
'Hi Elinor.'  
'Jason.' Elinor spoke the single word and her words were like ice. Serena could see that time hasn't been a healer in terms of Elinor.  
'What are you doing here?'  
'I came to talk my Mum. My Mum yes? Not yours? Just because your own mum is dead, stop trying to replace her with mine.'

Jason ran out of the office in tears. Serena ran after him shouting her name. Elinor went after them both. Hearing shouting from the office, Bernie looked up. Jason was in tears and Bernie didn't know why. She went after them all to stop one of them doing something stupid to hurt someone else. 

Catching up with Jason in the corridor, Serena pulled at his arm.  
'Jason, nobody can ever replace your Mum. Elinor knows that. She's just hurting so she's mad with you. She doesn't mean it.'  
'Don't I?'  
Serena swung round and Elinor was standing there. Bernie came round the corner.  
'Auntie Bernie. Stop Elinor being so mean to me. It's not fair. I like her. But she's being mean to me and I don't like it.'  
Bernie walked past Elinor and stood with Jason and Serena.  
'Why don't you all just calm down?'  
'Shut up you.'  
'Hey, don't talk to her like that. I won't tell you again.'  
'You never tell me anything Mum. I was the last to hear about him moving in with you. I was the last to hear about your sapphic mid-life crisis. So why should I listen to you?'  
'Okay, first off. Jason is family. You know that. He's your cousin.'  
'No he's not. He's a stranger.'  
'Well have you ever taken the time to get to know him? Really?'  
'No, and I don't want to know him. He's taken my mum away from me.'  
'No he hasn't. I'm right here.'  
'And as for her.'  
'Ellie, she has a name. This isn't some mid-life crisis or a passing phase. I love her. You need to learn to accept it.'  
'What if I can't?'  
Bernie stepped forward and took Serena's hand.  
'Elinor, I know this must be difficult. Believe me, I've been through it with my own children, but I love your mum. I would in time, like to get to know you too, and be friends.'  
'What do you think I am? 6? I don't want anything from you. My mum isn't a lesbian.'  
'I'm in love with a woman, so I think that's the name for it. Elinor, Bernie is the most important person in my life, besides you and Jason of course, please, please, don't walk out on us.'  
'No. No. No. I want nothing to do with any of you. I came here to say please stop leaving me messages. If you need to know I'm okay, ask Dad. I'll get Dad to let you know every once in a while. If you care enough to ask.'  
'Ellie, please.'  
'While tour living like this, I don't know who you are anymore. I don't want you to be my mum anymore. I can't cope with it.'  
'Well, be like that then. I don't want you for my daughter anymore. Go on, go away. I don't want to see you anymore.' Serena shouted. Elinor burst into tears and ran off down the corridor.  
'Serena, there's the real issue. Go after her.'  
'Bernie, I've lost her.'  
'No you haven't, go after her.'

Serena gave a smile to the woman she loved and ran off down the corridor. Hopefully she could catch up with Elinor before she did anything silly.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No summary. Read on to find out.

31\. Car Accident 

Serena caught up with Elinor outside he hospital.  
'Ellie wait, please!'  
'Leave me alone. I want nothing from you anymore.'  
'I'm your mum. I'm sorry about what I said. I love the bones of you. I can't say anything else.'  
'You're only my mum when you want to be.'  
'That's not true'  
'It is. Leave me alone.'

Eleanor pulled out her car keys and opened her car door. Serena rushed over and held the door open.  
'I'm not letting you go, not until we've talked about it.'  
'There's nothing left to talk about. You've made your choice. Jason and that woman over your own daughter. Now shut the door or I'll shut you in it.'  
Serena backed off as Elinor shut the door and put her keys in the ignition. Hearing the engine rev up, she prepared to leave the hospital and her mother behind. Serena went and stood in front of the car, hands splayed on the bonnet, refusing to move.  
'Move!' Elinor shouted  
'No, you'll have to run me over to make me move.'  
'If that's what you want.'  
Elinor put her foot down on he pedal. 

Suddenly Jason came into focus, and pushed Serena out of the path of the oncoming car. Serena was sent with a tumble to the floor, and Jason was hit by Elinor and the car. He fell to the ground, unconscious.  
'Jason!' Bernie shouted and she ran over to him. He was lying face down on the pavement, almost as if he was sleeping. Serena sat up dazed and confused, glanced behind her and saw Jason lying on the floor.  
'Is he breathing?'  
'There's a pulse.'  
'Thank God. Jason, Jason, can you hear me?'  
'Serena?'  
'Bernie, I can't lose him. She's killed him.'

Suddenly she lost her cool. She got up and threw open the car door. Elinor has smacked her head off the steering wheel and was holding it, it was obvious she was in pain.  
'You stupid, stupid girl!'  
'I..I.. It was an accident, I'm sorry.'  
'It wasn't an accident. He saved me from being hit by my own daughter. If he dies, I'll never forgive you, ever!'  
'I honestly didn't mean to.'  
'It's too late now'

Elinor got out the car and stood staring for a minute at the mess she'd caused. Bernie was crouching over Jason, trying to stem he bleeding from his head. Serena was standing next to Elinor shaking her head and beginning to cry.  
Elinor did what Bernie had become accustomed to, ran away from her mess. Into the hospital. Crying, holding her head. 

'Bernie, I can't lose him.'  
'Serena, well do our best for him. I love you, Inlove him. He's in the best place'  
'What can I do?'  
'I've got this. Get a trolley.'  
Grabbing Serena's hand, Bernie gave it a a reassuring squeeze. Serena went to get help. But what if it was too late?

Those two words had played such an important part in Bernie and Serenas lives so far, and they weren't done yet.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie had to operate on Jason to save his life. Can she put her personal feelings aside and save him?  
> Meanwhile, no one know Elinor is in serious danger as well as her head pain becomes too much...

32\. Alone

Jason was wheeled into the trauma unit. He'd been hit very hard by the car and Bernie was increasingly worried about the pressure on his spine. She was a specialist in dealing with victims of road traffic accidents. It was a case she'd seen all often, not all with a happy ending.

All Serena could do was watch as the woman she loved wheeled her nephew away into the trauma unit. Raf had met them at the AAU doors and pulled Serena back as she attempted to go after Bernie and Jason.  
'Serena you know the rules. No family.'  
'Raf, I have to be with him.'  
'You can't and you know that.'  
'So why is Bernie allowed?'  
'You know the answer to that as well. Right now she's Jason's best chance of survival and you know it. So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Jason's going to need you now more than ever.'  
'Raf, if he dies...'  
'If, stay positive.'  
Serena had seen so many cases like this. She'd worked many of them in tandem with Bernie, but now she was watching from the sidelines. 

*********************************

Elinor just about made it to the toilets before she threw up into it. She didn't know what was wrong with her but she was scared. Scared of losing Jason, of losing her Mum. She'd been scared all along. She thought her Mum had wanted to cut her out of her life because she had a new girl to love. Elinor was scared of being what she never wanted to be. Without anyone. Alone.

Pulling out her phone, she groaned and squinted as the harsh, bright light hurt her head. Managing to type out her mums number, she pressed the call button.

*********************************

Bernie came out of the trauma unit and headed straight to the office. Serena was sitting in the office sobbing like her heart would break. Bernie wanted nothing more than to embrace her and make the pain go away but Bernie knew Jason's life was far more important.  
'Serena'  
Looking up, Serena met Bernies eyes.  
'Is he okay?'  
'Were going to theatre. I have to go now, straight away, but I had to come and tell you.'

Serena walked over to Bernie and grabbed her hands.  
'Please save him.'  
'I promise I'll try my best.'

Bernie left the office and headed towards the theatre. Jason was almost as dear to her as her own son, and now his life was in her hands. Those two words that had chosen to haunt Serena and Bernie came  
to play again. What if something went wrong? What if he died? What if Serena never forgave her?

Serena heard her phone vibrating behind her. She turned around and saw it was Elinor. Serena really didn't want to hear her excuses or apologies, when it meant nothing to her, so she pressed the end call button.

*********************************

Hearing the dial tone cut out, Elinor groaned. Her head was hurting her so much. She didn't know what to do. Trying to breath, she almost dragged herself out of the toilets and up to the sinks. Heaving herself up, she took one look at herself in the mirror. Pale white, almost as if the blood has drained from her head entirely.  
Suddenly, her head exploded in pain as she breathed out and she fell to the ground unconscious.

Serena. Bernie. Elinor. Jason. All four people in seperate room, seperate tangents on the same string. Cause and effect. All going back to Bernie and Serena. They were the cause of all of this- Elinors lack of acceptance had lead to this accident, and now lives might be lost as a result. All four in seperate rooms. Bonded together by fate, but still very much alone.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers!!

33\. Hold Your Hand

Forty-five minutes had passed. Time wasn't on Elinor's side. She was still lying in the foetal position on the toilet floor, just off Darwin. Would she be found in time to save her?

*********************************

Serena had been unable to sit still. Jason's life was in Bernies hands. She knew Bernie was one of the best surgeons she'd ever worked with, but the case was like no other she'd ever deal with. It was her own family involved- Bernie included. Just for a second, she put herself in her partners shoes. She was having to put her personal feelings aside for the sake of saving Jason; Serena didn't know if she'd be able to do that. She just wishes someone would come and tell her that it was going to be okay. 

Bernie emerged from theatre putting her gloves in the bin. Leaning her head against the wall, and sighing heavily, the only thought on her mind was Serena. Whilst she'd managed to save Jason's life and relieve the pressure on his spine, he wasn't out of the woods by a long shot yet. During that operation, all she'd wanted to do was run out and be there to support the woman she loved. She didn't know if she was enough to save Jason. But she had. She'd saved him.

*********************************

Elinor was still lying on the cold hard floor of the toilet floor when the door finally opened. It was Zosia. Taking one look at the collapsed woman on the floor, she set about trying to find the reason for her collapse, whilst shouting for help. She knew she couldn't do this on her own.

*********************************

Bernie opened the door to the office and shut it behind her. She went to her desk and sat in the chair. Being on her own, she finally let her guard down and let the emotions come flying out of her. With tears rolling down her cheeks, her eyes fell on the little black box on Serena's desk. Bernie had completely forgotten about her proposal. Pocketing the box, she started to cry even more. Serena had given her everything and more, and Bernie had almost taken it away from her. Her daughter and Jason had to be the most important things in her life, so she knew it was time to cut their losses and call it a day.

Serena walked into the office and immediately saw Bernie crying.  
'Bernie? Please, no...'  
'No, no, Serena, he's stable'  
'Stable, so you saved him?'  
'Yes.'  
'Bernie, you have no idea what it meant to me to know you were in there with him. You would have done whatever it took to save him.'

Serena grabbed Bernies hands but Bernie withdrew them and put them in the pocket of her scrubs. Serena stepped back, obviously confused as to Bernies rejection.  
'I think we need to stop kidding ourselves Serena. It was fun while it lasted. And I wouldn't swap it for the world. But I think we know, we have to cut our losses.'  
'Cut out losses, what do u mean?'  
'Elinor can't accept us together. She's your own flesh and blood. Jason's going to need all of your time and effort now. You know that, so I think it's best we end this. Us, I mean.'  
'Are you breaking up with me?'  
'I think it's for the best.'  
'Bernie, I love you. You've just saved my nephews life??'  
'Serena, it's because I love you that I'm setting you free. You need to be with your family. They need you now more than ever.'  
'You're my family. I need you now more than ever. I don't need setting free. I need you to be by my side. But this is what you do isn't it? When the going gets tough, run away.'  
'I'm not running away. I've just saved his life in that operating theatre, me! Me! Would I have done that if I was going to run away?'  
'You can't hack it when its getting tough. So you're doing one of your disappearing acts. But I'm sorry, that's not good enough.'  
'Serena, I...'  
'You don't need to say anything. I think you've said enough. You don't want to be with me that's fine. I love you, but that doesn't account for anything. Fine; go, see if I care.'  
'Now who's being pathetic? I don't know what to do. I feel like this is my fault. If I had never come back the Jason and Elinor would be fine.'  
'But we wouldn't. Bernie, there comes a time in your life when you have to be selfish. I'm glad you came back. That crash wasn't your fault. It was Elinor's. She couldn't handle something she didn't like so she threw her toys out the pram.'

The door opened and Zosia stood there.  
'Zosia? Are you okay?'  
'Serena, you need to come now.'  
'Why is it Jason? What's happened?'  
'It's Elinor'  
'Elinor? What?'  
'I found her in the toilets spark out on the floor. Mr Griffin is in theatre with her now. I went though her bag to find out who she was and there was a picture of the two of you in her bag.'

Serena felt her heart hit the ground. Her little girl, injured, and she's turned her back on her. Following Zosia, she immediately went to the theatre. Standing in the viewing box, she put her hands to the glass.  
'Elinor, it's me, mum. I'm here'  
She knew that Elinor wouldn't be able to hear her, but Serena willed her to fight. Fight back.

The door opened behind Serena and Bernie walked in after her. Without a word, she walked up to the glass and stood next to Serena, her shoulder brushing against Serena as she stood with her. Taking her left hand, she held it as if she never wanted to let go. Serena almost didn't register that Bernie was there, until she brought her other hand on top of Bernie. Together they just stood there watching helpelessly as Ric battles against the odds to save Elinor's life.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How can you put into words what Serena and Bernie are going through? Read on to find out, I promise I'll try my best

34\. Strength 

Elinor survived the operation. Her heart had stopped twice during surgery and all Serena had been able to do was stand there and watch as Ric battled to save her daughters life. At one point, Serena thought she was going to lose her. When Ric had saved her for the second time, her knees had buckled underneath her. She'd sat there on the floor hugging her knees wishing herself to be anywhere else, when Bernie had dropped to the floor with her. Bernie had stayed by her side, holding her hand, throughout the whole operation. Even on the floor, she'd held her hand and then helped her up when she was ready. Giving her the strength to face things whatever he outcome.

They'd both spent the night apart- Serena at Elinor's bedside and Bernie at Jason's. Jason made more progress during the night and came off his ventilator; Bernie had let Serena know in a hurried text but had remained at his bedside, wanting and almost willing him to wake up so she could see for herself she wasn't to blame. Despite Serena's claims, she couldn't help feeling none of this would have happened if she'd have just stayed in Kiev. But then she'd have lost Serena and all hope of ever being with her. 

Elinor, however, still remained touch and go. Her brain was registering very little activity and she was being kept sedated for her own good, to her give her time tog get stronger. The ventilator was keeping her breathing and Serena had spent all night wishing for some sign that her little Ellie was still in there. But she was met with the deafening silence, the radiosilence that she'd become so accustomed to when Bernie left. Bernie has informed her that Jason was off his ventilator and breathing for himself. She'd breathed a sigh of relief, but she didn't have time to be pleased. Right now, two of the three people she loved the most were battling for their lives, and she knew she had to be there for them, every step of the way. But she couldn't do it on her own. She knew that much.

Bernie had been her support when she'd had that confidence knock in theatre all those months ago, Bernie had been her support when she'd buckled watching Elinor's op. Serena had been Bernies support through her divorce and transitions into AAU. Serena had been Bernies biggest supporter when opening up the trauma unit. Serena knew that they made each other better people. 

Giving each other support when they were in crisis or feeling emotional, gave the other one the strength they needed to go on. Serena knew without Bernie by her side she couldn't do it on her own. And Elinor and Jason needed both of them. They were a package deal, that much became abundantly clear to Serena as she sat at Elinor's bedside. 

Together they made each other stronger. They were a pillar of strength for each other, and without Bernie by her side right at this time, Serena knew she would have crumbled and give up.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read on to find out what happens next in this rollercoaster of a relationship❤

35\. Yes

Two days passed. Jason was growing stronger every day. He was expected to make a full recovery. Bernie had remained at his bedside every day, handing the reins of AAU to Fletch and Raf. She had warned them not to disturb Serena, who had not moved from Elinor's bedside. If there were any problems regarding AAU, they would come straight to her. While she didn't want to be bothered with any distractions, she knew that Serena couldn't cope with anything else in her plate, especially with the arrival of Liberty. Edward was stranded in Dubai, and couldn't get a plane back for over a week, so he'd sent Liberty to be at the hospital. 

Elinor had shown a minor improvement. Her brain activity had improves very slightly but she was still breathing on the ventilator and had a long way to go. Serena had not left her bedside except to go to the bathroom. Liberty had arrived late last night and had rung the hospital to tell them she was on her way in that morning to see Elinor. Serena had decided to make herself scarce- things were strained enough as it was without Elinor hearing them argue. She took the opportunity to go and visit Jason, and catch up with Bernie. They'd only communicated by text message for the past two days. She wanted to see Bernie, but before she left she made the nurses promise to let her know if anything changed with Elinor at all.

*********************************

Serena walked into AAU for the first time. She'd painted on her face and changed her blouse to try and look much braver than she was feeling. Jason was in a room off AAU and Serena decided to check in on the way through. She didn't want to talk to anyone, but she had a walk round and smiled smally to herself when she saw everything running like clockwork. Opening the office door, Serena's eyes scanned the paperwork piled up on her desk. Fletch has scribbled a note 'Don't worry about it. All in hand' and taped it to her computer. She smiled to herself. They really were trying to keep the pressure off her shoulders.

Her eyes fell on Bernies coat hung up still in the office. Bernie must have left it here on the day of the accident. She thought Bernie might need it, so she picked it up. As she did, something fell out the pocket. The black box. Serena had completely forgotten about it to be honest in the angst of the last few days. She picked it up and put it in her pocket as she went to see Jason.

*********************************

When Serena walked into the room, she saw Jason in the bed, oxygen mask over his face but the good news was there was no ventilator. Bernie was sitting at his bedside, holding his hand but she turned around when she heard the sound of the door.  
'Serena! I wasn't expecting you til later.'  
'Liberty is on her way. I know her and Edward blame me, and I'm really not able to do that whole enchilada yet. I'm barely coping.'  
'Serena, your stronger than you know. You're coping far better than I would.'  
'Because I have you here with me. How is Jason doing?'  
'He's got your spirit Serena. He's fighting back every single step of the way. You really need to be proud of him.'

Serena walked to the chair opposite Bernie, over the other side of the bed and sat down besides Jason.  
'Jason, it's me. I'm sorry I haven't been to see you until now. I want you to know, I'm so proud of you. I love you, you're like my own son. Please know that. Bernies here as well. She's been here every day, not once leaving your side. She's been here for you, when I couldn't. And I'm sorry for that. But you've always been in my thoughts. I love you.'  
Serena extended both hands simultaneously, offering one to Bernie, who took it without hesitation, and taking Jason's hand with the other.

'It's so good you're taking my hand now. Last time I tried that, you wouldn't respond.'  
'Because I thought you would blame me.'  
'Bernie, I could never do that. I love you. Even more so now because you've been here with Jason.'  
'Elinor needed you more than me. Me and Jason have an great relationship and a special bond. I love him, like my own son. I'd be there for him in a heartbeat. If I could swap places with him or Elinor right now, you know I would. I can't stand seeing you in pain.'  
'Words can't describe how much I love you.'  
'Serena, I need you to know I'm in this for the long haul. My wobble the other day was exactly that, a wobble. I'm here for you whatever happens with Elinor. I think Jason will be okay, but we have a long road ahead of us with regards to Elinor. Whatever the future has in store for her, I'm here with you. Whatever you need, I love you. I'm not going anywhere. We'll stick this out together.'  
'Yes'

The one word spoken by Serena took Bernie by surprise. She looked over at Serena in confusion  
'Yes?'  
'Yes. That's my answer.'  
'To what?'  
'Have you forgotten? What we were in the middle of?'  
Seeing Bernies face remain blank, Serena reached into her bag and pulled out the black box. Watching Bernies eyes widen, Serena squeezed her hand.  
'Now you're remembering.'  
'Serena. You can't make a decision like this now. You're in shock after what happened. I wasn't angling for an answer. I don't even think I should have asked you. Now isn't the time for this. Or the place.'  
'Bernie, that's why I'm sure of my answer. You've been a guiding light to me the last year, and the last few days a pillar of strength. I love you.'  
'And I love you, but what about Jason? And Elinor?'  
'Jason loves having you in his life, you know that. And as for Elinor, she had to accept your part of my life whether she wants you to be or not. She's my flesh and blood and I love her more than anything, but I will not be dictated to over how to live my life. I've made my decision. The question is, will you have me?'  
'You know I will. I love you. But I still think now isn't the time.'  
'Maybe your right. But I can't be there for Elinor right now with Liberty there. So now is the time to focus on Jason. He's doing much better than I thought, so I want you to know I'm with you. I'm not pushing you away'  
'You mean this don't you?'  
'Every word. You know I do?'  
'So, does that mean what I think it means?'  
'I believe so. But would you mind if we wait...'  
'Serena I wouldnt mind anything. You want us to wait before we tell anyone. Whatever you want. Now is the time for focussing on your daughter and your nephew. Your family.'  
'My family. It isn't complete without you. You know that.'


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read on to find out what happens next

36\. Watch and Wait

Two hours passed by and Bernie could see Serena was itching to get back to Elinor. She'd telephoned the ward and they'd said Liberty was still with her. Serena's instincts were telling her she had to go back, she didn't known why.  
'Bern, I've got a bad feeling. I want to know shes okay.'  
'Well go then. Hun, I know you feel yours missing Jason but you can see he's doing well. I'll let you know the minute something changes. I promise.'  
'I can't. Liberty is still there.'  
'And? You're her mother. You have every right to be there.'  
'Yes, but..'  
'No buts. Just go.'  
'Will you come with me?'

Serena hates to drag Bernie away from Jason's bedside but she knew she didn't need have the strength to face Liberty on her own.  
'Me? But I'm nothing to do with Liberty.  
'Yes, but you're the equivalent of what she is to Liberty. The step-parent or the soon to be.'  
'Yes, but..'  
'No buts, please, I can't do this without you.'  
'What about Jason?'  
'I think he will be okay for a while on his own. He's stronger than we think.'  
'Okay, but I don't think that it's a good idea.'  
'I don't care. I can't face her without you. You said you were in it for the long road with Elinor. This is the first step.'  
'I'm going with you. I just don't know what Liberty will make of it.'  
'Well there's only one way to find out. I have to know how she is.'  
'Okay, lets go.'

Offering her hand to Serena, before placing a kiss on Jason's forehead, she headed to the door. Serena took her hand instantly and squeezed it- almost as if she never wanted to let go. They headed out of the ward and to see Elinor.

*********************************

When they reached Elinor's side room, Bernie turned to Serena.  
'Are you sure about this?'  
'Positive. I love Elinor to pieces, my heart is breaking because I can't stop her pain, but I need you here with me. I can't cope without you'  
'Well you've got me. I promise I'm not going anywhere. I've got your back every step of the way. Don't for a second doubt that.'  
Serena's eyes filled with tears as she realised Bernie had repeated those words from theatre all those months ago. That felt like a lifetime ago. They'd travelled such a long way since then, completely changed as people. Squeezing Bernie has in thanks, she pushed open the door.

Liberty was sat next to Elinor's bed holding her hand. Startled and caught off guard, her shock turned to anger when she saw Bernie and Serena holding hands.  
'What is she doing here? Serena, this isn't fair.'  
'Liberty, how is she?'  
'There's been no change. It's not as if you care anyway. Look at you, it's disgusting how you're flaunting it, even now, with  
Ellie lying here.'  
'I'm not flaunting it. I need her here with me. I can't do it on my own. Just like Edward can't.'  
'Don't bring him into this. He would be here if he could, you know that.'  
'I never said he couldn't. But right now, Ellie needs all the support she can get. We're her family.'  
'Serena, I don't know what kind of hypnotic spell she's put you in, but she isn't part of Ellie's family.'  
'Excuse me! I haven't put her in any kind of spell. I love her. I never asked for any of this to happen. Neither of us did. Hit it isn't a crime to fall in love, so don't expect me to start apologising for it, because I won't. Serena is Elinor's mother, she has every right to be here, and if she wants me here, I won't be going anywhere, be sure of that.' Bernie interjected with such anger in her voice that Liberty flushed backwards and even Serena was a bit terrified.  
'Enough! I'm not listening to this bullshit anymore. She is not part of Elinor's family. Never had been and she never will be. Now I'm telling you, go.'  
'Liberty, with all due respect, I'm Elinor's mother.  
'When it suits you.'  
'That's not fair.'  
'Life's not fair.'  
'I love her.'  
'Yes, but you only want to be her mother when it suits you. I'm there for her whenever she needs anything. I may as well be her mother.'  
'But you're not, I am. I brought her into this world. I rocked her to sleep. I watched her take her first breath, her first steps. Everything. She's my world; and for anyone to tell me differently, is off their rocker.'

Serena's words seemed to have the desired effect on Liberty who looked down at the floor for a minute before picking up her bag and leaving the room without so much as a word to either Serena or Bernie.  
'Well that put her in her place.'  
'It had to be said. I'm her mother, and I'm not having her tell me any different. Yes. We may have our fights; but who doesn't? She's my world. I love her more than anything in the world. I can't and wont let Liberty take my place.'  
'Shall I go and sit with Jason now?'  
'Stay with me. Please, we'll only be watching and waitinf anyway. I want you here, please, just for a little bit?'  
'For you? Anything and always. You should know that by now.'  
'I love you.'  
'I love you too'

Together they went and sat either side of Elinor's bed. Watching and waiting.


	37. Chapter 37

37\. I Can't

Three days later and Elinor was still showing no signs of improvement. If anything, they'd been a dramatic decline in her condition. The night after Liberty had been to visit her, Serena and Bernie had been sat with her when she'd started fitting. It was all they could do but watch as they had to resuscitate her. They'd managed to get her back but at a cost to her brain. She was registering such little activity on her brain, that the doctors were considering turning off her life support. They had warned Serena, but as a surgeon herself, it was only too familiar the words they used. She had always thought she had been compassionate when it came to breaking bad news but now, being on the receiving end, she was confronted with the harsh reality that she had little grasp on what the families had been going through- until now.

Bernie had been unable to do anything than watch Serena retreating further and further into herself. It was like she was afraid to let out any emotion. Bernie knew that she was pretending to be fine, but it was killing her inside. What Bernie hadn't told Serena was that it was killing her too- killing her to see everyone in so much pain and being unable to do anything about it. She had never stuck it out for this long before where horrible emotions were concerned, but it was her turn to be strong for Serena. She had to be the tower of strength that she so needed. But the truth was, she didn't know if she had it in her. Every day was becoming such a challenge to get though. Serena barely acknowledged that Bernie was there half the time. It was nothing she hadn't been expecting but still they harsh reality had been a hard pill to swallow.

The fourth day arrived. Serena had remained at Elinor's bedside all day. Bernie had been to work on AAU in the morning and spent the afternoon with Jason. On a more positive note, he was returning to normal. Complaining to the nurses about his lack of scheduling. He had accepted without question that Serena had to be with Elinor right now. He and Bernies bond had grown even stronger in the time they'd spent together. Bernie loved him as much as Cameron. He was such a warm, lovely boy to be around. And at least he wanted her company. The same couldn't be said for Serena.

Clocking off time rolled around, and Serena had just had confirmation from th doctors that unless Elinors brain function picked up by the next day, they would have to turn off her ventilator. They had told her to go home, and she had refused point blank, saying she needed to be here. They told her in no uncertain terms to go home and come back the next morning. She had no choice.

As soon as the lift doors closed behind her, Serena let her guard down and finally let out all the emotions she'd been feeling. The tears rolled down her cheeks as more kept welling up in her eyes. She couldn't lose her little girl, she just couldn't. But Serena knew she would have to face the facts. So many times she'd been in this situation, and too many the outcomes had never been the best one. 

The lift doors slid open on AAU and Bernie got in. As soon as they'd opened, Bernie had seen the woman she loved crying her eyes out. She went to put her arms around her but Serena moved backwards.  
'Serena, please.'  
'Bernie. I can't.'  
'Can't what?'  
'Can't let you in.'  
'Why?'  
'Because you know me too well.'  
'Exactly, I know you. So this brace face you've been putting on stop it. I know it's all for show. Why can't you let people give you support? The last few days I felt I've been losing you.'  
'It's not about me or you. It's about Elinor.'  
'I'm well aware of that. I'm not pretending anything but I wish you would let me be there for you. You said the other day you couldn't do it without me.'  
'And I meant every word.'  
'So let me in? Please?'  
'Okay.'  
The word was spoken almost like a cry and she collapsed into Bernies arms in the middle of the lift. Bernie caught her, in her arms and wrapped her arms around her. All shadows of doubt flew out the window. Beenie knew it had taken a lot for Serena to let her in. She couldn't let her down now.

*********************************

The next morning, Bernie watched as Serena got ready to leave the house. She was walking under a cloud, almost as if she was the one who had been given a death sentence. Extending her hand and wrapping her arm around her, Bernie lead her to the car, because she knew Serena's would have done a her, and ran away rather than confronting the truth.

When they reached the ward, Bernie opened the door and walked in. She went to take Serena's hand, only to find she wasn't there. She was standing in the corridor outside.  
'Serena?  
'I can't.'  
'It's okay. You can do this. I'm with you. Whatever happens, we'll deal with it together. I promise.'

Serena took a deep breath, took Bernies outstretched hand and they walked into the ward ready to see what the news would be.


	38. Chapter 38

38\. Miracles

Serena was fully prepared for the doctors to say that her little girl had gone. She was a shadow, just a shell, of the girl she used to be. Her and Elinor had been so close growing up. They were almost like best friends instead of mother and daughter. Yes, the last few years had been difficult, but Serena had always thought they'd find the relationship they once had, and now she was worried she'd lost the chance for good. 

Bernie was standing next to her, clasping her hand. Her palm was clammy and sweaty, but she rather suspected that was down to nerves. Bernie had never seen Serena look so lost in her own world. She was obviously swimming deep in the sea of her memories, and rather than disturb her, she took the moment to take a long look at the woman she loved so very much. 

Deep in her thoughts, Serena was reflecting on what had been a rather turbulent week. She'd been so happy at the start of it, so content with how her life was panning out. Then a black box, four little words, and a car has put paid to everything she thought she knew. Now as one thing was on the up, another was on a downward spiral. It was the story of her life. But for now, she couldn't focus on that. Elinor was her top priority. Serena didn't want to see her in any pain anymore, and resolved; if there was no improvement to turn off her ventilator and let her be at peace.

The doctors were in the room when Bernie and Serena walked in.  
'Ah, Miss Campbell, there's been an improvement overnight. Elinor's brain function has improved by 20%. While it's a step in the right direction, there is still a long long way to go.'  
'I know all of that. You're forgetting I'm a vascular surgeon. The main thing is, my little girl is still in there somewhere. She's fighting back.'

Watching the doctors probe Elinor, Bernie steered Serena out of the room and into the corridor. She could see Serena was smiling properly for the first time in ages. Bernie never thoughts she'd see that smile again, not for a while anyway.  
'She's fighting back, my little girl.'  
'She's got your spirit Hun, what can I say? The Apple never rocks far from the tree.'  
'What?'  
'She's defineltey your daughter. She's got your spirit, your stubborn nature and your sparkle. There the thins that make you who you are Serena, and the things that make Elinor your daughter. There also some of the many reasons that I love you.'  
Bernie has said those words to Serena every day since the accident, and she hadn't heard them many times back. While she'd known that Serena had been preoccupied with Elinor, she had hoped to hear those three little words, just to offer some clarity that Serena did still need her and want her. 

Hoping to hear the words at that precise moment, Bernie was only rewarded with silence. What if Serena didn't love her anymore? Those two words. Continuing to plague Bernie.  
'Serena?'  
'Hmm..yeah.'  
'Did you hear what I just said?'  
'Of course. I was just so taken aback why what you said.'  
'I mean every word. I love you.'  
'I know you do.'  
'Why can't you say it back to me anymore?'  
'I can. I don't have to say something all the time for it to be true.'  
'But I haven't heard it for a while Serena. If you don't feel the way for me anymore, I would rather you just say rather than stringing me along...'

She was interrupted as Serena kissed her with such force it knocked Bernie backwards to the wall. This was the first kiss they'd shared in over a week. Bernie hadn't wanted to be kissing her when Jason and Elinor were in hospital. Somehow it didn't seem right now, but it had been so long since she'd kissed her, it was like a firework in her mind. Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena's neck and responded happily with gusto for a moment before pulling back, and pushing Serena away.  
'What was that for?'  
'I love you Bernie Wolfe. Don't ever doubt that. I meant what I just said. I don't have to say it all the time for it to be true. I haven't said it for a while because Jason and Elinor have had to be my priority. But you're never far from my mind. You must know that.'  
'I do now you've told me. And I wouldn't expect to be anywhere near top of your priorities. Elinor is most important.'  
'That's one of the reasons I love you too. You accept me and my family.'  
'I wouldn't expect it any other way. Elinor is your blood.'  
'Yes, and she is also a small part of my heart.'  
'Only a small part?'  
'Yes, because my heart isn't mine anymore. My chest can barely contain my heart anymore. It feels like it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. That sound weird.'  
'No Serena. It sounds perfectly accurate.'  
Serena kissed Bernie quickly on the cheek and then grabbed her hand and went back to the ward to see Elinor.

What had happened was a minor miracle. Elinor had fought back from the brink of death just when it really mattered, and Serena and Bernie had come through for each other, just when it really mattered. They pulled together through the hard times, but there were plenty of good and bad times to come. They could be sure of that.


	39. Chapter 39

39\. Engaged

A week passed by with no major complications. Elinor's brain function had increased a bit more and was no registering at 45%. Edward had managed to get a flight back from Dubai, so he and Liberty has spent most of their time at the hospital with Elinor. To say the atmosphere was tense would have been an understatement. That first night, Edward and Serena had been sat around Elinor's bed and they had barely been able to look at each other, but dornonce the didn't need to. They were united in the love they shared for their daughter and the need they had for her to get better.

Jason had gone from strength to strength. He was almost back to his usual self, he was back at home complaining. Bernie and Serena had both returned to AAU, but only on a part time basis. The knew that Fletch and Raf could handle the running of it until one of them returned full time. Bernie was at home looking after Jason when she wasn't working, and Serena spent most of her spare time with Elinor. When Liberty arrived back on the scene though, Serena had been determined to show her that Elinor had the support of her family as well, so she'd took Bernie along for moral support.

One evening however, it was Libertys Birthday and she'd kindly asked the nurses to let her, Edward and Elinor have some time together, without interruptions and interference from Bernie and Serena. Serena had done what she thought was best and left them to it. She'd gone home to spend some time with Jason and Bernie.

Crossing over the threshold, she felt almost like a stranger in her own home. She'd spent so much time at the hospital nowadays, she'd almost forgotten what her house looked like. She could hear Bernie and Jason in the living room, watching one of the quiz shows they both loved so much. Bernie. This woman had been a tower of strength for her since the accident. She'd been there every day regardless. Serena knew that she hadn't been very easy to be around the last couple of weeks. She had put her guard back up, to stop herself getting hurt again by anyone, and it was Bernie who had broken it down again. Bernie, who had convinced her that she didn't have to fake anything while she was around. She knew that she hadn't been able to express her thanks in words. But, as she knew too well. Actions spoke louder than words.

'Auntie Serena is that you?'  
'Yes Jason.'  
'I wasn't expecting you tonight. Auntie Bernie said you were at the hospital with Elinor.'  
Serena walked into the living room and saw Jason commandeering the armchair. Bernie was sitting on the sofa with her legs curled up under her. As soon as Serena walked in though, she sat up and patted the chair next to her, beckoning st Serena to come over.  
'Yes Jason I was supposed to be, but her dad is there with her, so I wanted to come and see you. Check how you were doing.'  
'There's really no need. As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Well I was until you interrupted the programme.'  
'I'm sorry about that. Would you mind if I borrow Bernie for a while? There's something I really need to talk to her about.'  
'No. Just please go upstairs. If you are going to argue, I'd rather be able to hear my programme.'

Bernie chuckled to herself as she heaved herself up off the sofa. She made to go through to the kitchen but Serena took her hand and let her upstairs. Opening the door, waiting for Bernie to go inside and then closing it after then, she sat on the other side of the bed to where Bernie had positioned herself, looking rather perplexed and confused.  
'Serena, what's with all the urgency? I thought you wanted to see Jason?'  
'Well I did, but we both know I won't get any sense out of him until he saw finished with his show. So I wanted to take tee opportunity to talk to you.'  
'Talk to me? Why? What have I done? Have I upset you?'  
'Bernie. Why would have you done something to upset me?'  
'I don't know. Just me being me I guess.'  
'Yes and you need stop it. You haven't done anything wrong. So stop doubting yourself.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie and pulled her as close as she could. Their hugs were normally so heartfelt and caring, whereas this one felt completely and utterly because it was the right moment. Serena and Bernie clung to each other in the soft lights of the room, gathering strength from each other until Serena pulled back, grabbing Bernies hands.  
'So, what do you need to talk to me about?'  
'Us'  
'Us?'  
'It's not enough for me anymore. It's not fair on me or you.'

Bernie couldn't believe what she was hearing. She waited for the whole it's nor you, it's me episode. Serena was breaking up with her. So why had she told her that she'd done nothing wrong. Letting go of Serena's hands and turning away from her, Bernie felt like her heart was going to break in two. She loved Serena, almost as much as life itself, but it wasn't enough for her anymore. The wheels had come off.  
'Bernie, what's wrong?'  
'Don't. Don't say another word. If this was over I'd know it. If this was over, I would feel it.'  
'If what was over?'  
'Serena, your launching into the speeches It's not you; it's me.'  
Serena's eye she widened as she realised what Bernie meant. She thought Serena was dumping her, when in actual fact that couldn't be further from the truth.  
'Bernie.'  
'What?'  
'Look at me.'  
'I can't, because I know exactly what you're going to say, and my heart is breaking into two as it is. I can't look at you while you say it.

Serena got up off the bed and went round to face Bernie. Bernie tried to turn away but Serena grabbed her hands and made her look at her. She crouched on the floor, and let go of one of Bernies hands for a moment to pull out the little box from we pocket. Bernies eyes were full of surprise when she saw the box in Serena's hands.  
'Now listen to me. Bernie, I love you son much. Why would I ever think of ending things with you? If you let me finish what I was going to say. It isn't enough for me anymore. It's not fair on me or you. It's not enough for me to call you my girlfriend or even my partner. It's not enough to for us to stay like this. I want to be able to call you, my wife.'  
'Really?'  
'Bernie; when are you going to get it through your head? You have been such a pillar of strength for me since the accident. I thought it would break us, but it's made us stronger. And now with Jason back at home. And Elinor recovering slowly, now the right time. I have you an answer before.'  
'Yes, you did. You said yes'  
'And now I'm still saying yes; but now I'm asking you as well. So?'  
'Serena, you don't even need to ask. You already know what I'm going to say. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Of course it's a yes.'

Bernie pulled Serena up towards her and wrapped her arms around her neck.  
'Thank you.'  
'For what?'  
'Everything. Just being here.'  
'Well where else would I be? You've got me wrapped up in you. I can't function without you.'  
'And neither can I.'  
'So, now what?'

Serena pulled out the other box from her pocket and handed it to Bernie.  
'Time to make it official I believe.'  
'As in tell people?'  
'Yes. I want people to know we're together for the long run.'  
'And what about Jason? Cameron? Elinor? Charlotte?'  
'Bernie. You know as I well as I do that Jason loves you. Cameron will be happy for us as well. Charlotte will have to get used to the idea I suppose. And as for Elinor.'  
'What about her?'  
'I love her to death and I would do anything for her, but she's a grown woman now and I will not be made to feel bad because I fell in love with a woman. We're going to be there every step of the way to support her in her recovery; but it's both of us together. Both of us, or neither of us'  
'Neither?'  
'Bernie, I'm always going to be her mother and I will always live her, but the little girl I brought up is gone. I can't stand to lose her, and I hope she can learn to accept you. But if she can't, then I will not be abandoning you like she hopes I would.'

Serena opened the box she'd bought for Bernie and put the ring on Bernies finger. Bernie stared at it for a moment before doing the same. They smiled at each other, and gave each other the look. They were engaged! It was official. Now all they had to do was tell the rest of the world.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tell Jason their news. How will he react? Read on to find out

40\. A proper family

Serena was so happy. She couldn't remember the last time shed been this happy. Bernie had bought so much more to her life than shed ever anticipated, and sometimes she wondered how shed ever coped before Bernie arrived on AAU. Now they were taking their relationship to the next level- Serena had never been so happy. Her and Bernie had decided that they should tell Jason the news first. Serena knew that he'd had a lot of upheavals and upset in his life, so she hoped that the news about her and Bernie would give him the stability and the routine he so desperately craved. 

'Jason, can I have a few minutes of your valuable time please?'  
'Auntie Serena, its 9:44pm. I will be going to bed in precisely 16 minutes, so you have that amount of time.'  
'Jason, there is something I need to talk to you about?'  
'Have I done something wrong?'  
'No, why would you even think that.'  
Serena sat down opposite Jason and looked him square in the face.  
'Jason, you haven't done anything wrong. There is something that I wanted to tell you and ask you opinion of.'  
'And what might that be?'  
'How do you feel about Bernie living here with us?'  
'Auntie Serena, you asked me this months ago. She makes us both very happy. You love her, I love her. Why? Are you too splitting up?'  
'No, quite the opposite actually'

Serena took her hands out of her pockets and put them in front of Jason so he could see the ring. The light in the room reflected off the surface of the glass in the ring, and it lit up the whole room. Jason looked wide-eyed at Serena.  
'You are getting married?'  
'Yes. To Bernie.'  
'Well I didn't think you were marrying yourself. That would be ridiculous and not even you would be that stupid.'  
'Why thank you.'  
'So, are you okay with this Jason?' Bernies voice carried above the silence. Jason turned around and saw her standing in the doorway.  
'Auntie Bernie, come in, its cold. Why would I not be okay with it? Auntie Serena loves you, you love her and I love you. This will make us a proper family.'  
Bernie's smile spread from ear to ear and she walked over to Serena. Perching on the arm of the chair, Bernie offered her extended her hand to Serena. Jason saw her ring on her finger.  
'Well, I must say Auntie Bernie, you have better taste in ring shopping than Auntie Serena. Her ring is so much nicer than yours.'  
'Jason!!!'  
'What? Auntie Serena, I am only telling you the truth. Now, it is 9:58. I must bid you both goodnight.' 

Jason got up and left the room. Serena and Bernie watched him go and then as soon as he left.  
'Well that went better than expected.'  
'Indeed. The only thing he seems concerned about is the quality of the ring I bought you. Is it that bad?'  
'Serena. I love it, just like I love you. The size of the ring doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is the fact that you take me as I am. You love me for me, all of my flaws and faults. The main thing that matters to me is the size of your heart. That's what I love about you, one of the first things that made me fall in love with you. Your relationship with Jason for one thing. You love him as if he was your own son. Jason might not like the ring you bought me, but I love it. Because it was you that got it for me. I love you, your heart and spirit.'  
Serena closed the gap between her and Bernie and kissed her immediately. Pushing Bernie backwards, they lay on the sofa passionately kissing for a while until Bernie broke the contact with a silent yawn.  
'Been a long day huh?'  
'Serena, its been the longest day, but the best day ever. Its the day we agreed to get married. And as Jason said, its one step closer to us being a proper family. Welll, as much of a family as we can be without Elinor.'  
'You would consider Elinor you're family?'  
'Why would you think I wouldn't?'  
'After what she said about you.'  
'Serena, I've had worst things directed at me, please don't let that put you off. I love you, I'm marrying you. You and your family which includes Elinor. Once we tell everyone on the ward, we can look forward to the future. Together. As a proper family.'  
'I love you so much Berenice Wolfe.'  
'And I love you Serena Campbell.'


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason knows about the engagement. Now comes the more difficult and dangerous task of telling their collegues. How will they react to the news?

41\. Working Relationships

The next morning Serena woke up and couldn't stop smiling. Today she had so many reasons to be smiling. She and Bernie were getting married, Jason was happy for them both and the most important thing was that Elinor's brain function had increased by 25% last night. Edward had rang Serena to say that Elinor's brain function was registering at 70%, and that within the next 48 hours they were going to try and bring her round from her sedation. It was the first time, since the accident, that Serena had slept the entire night through without disjointed napping. She just lay where she was, basking in her happiness until the arms reached over her shoulder to caress her cheek.  
'Good morning.'  
'Oh morning, you are awake then.'  
'Yes, I have been for a while.'  
Serena rolled over to face Bernie. In the light of the early morning, Bernie looked more vulnerable, much younger. Serena caught her hand and admired the ring on it.  
'I can't get used to seeing you wearing the ring. It seems surreal.'  
'I know. I can't get used to saying we're engaged. You're my fiance'  
'I will never get tired of hearing that Bernie, you know that?'  
'I love hearing it, but I cant wait for the next step.'  
'The best thing will be when I can call you my wife.'  
'I know I can't wait to hear the sound of that. I love hearing it'  
'I love you so much Serena'  
'I know, and I love you just as much, believe me Bernie'

*************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

90 minutes later, annd Bernie drew up outside the hospital. Turning off the engine, she turned to face Serena.  
'So, how do we do this?'  
'Do what?'  
'You know, tell people. I want them to know as soon as possible. Do we make a formal announcement on AAU?'  
'Bernie, I dont think AAU is quite the place for that sort of announcement. Theres patients that have come up expecting medical treatment, not hear that a pair of surgeons are engaged.'  
'So, you dont want to tell people?'  
'I didnt say that. I think we dont tell people officially til after shift, but we dont do anything to disperse comments.'  
'What do you mean by that?'  
'I mean, we just go about our normal day.'  
'Do you want us to keep our rings on?'  
'Yes. Im not suggesting we hide our engagement. If people ask us, I'll tell them, but I dont want to make a formal annnouncement until after work. Its just more intimate and personal like that.'  
'I like that idea. Gives us a chance to keep it under our hats for a little while longer, give us more time to get used to the idea.'

Walking into AAU hand in hand, they weren' sure what the day would bring. They knew that they couldn' control any forms of gossip within the hospital. Once the news came out, it would spread like wildfire. But for once, neither of them cared about the gossips. They were so happy in themselves that it had eminated within the ward. AAU had become such a different ward in the last six months, and everyone knew that it was down to the relationship shared by its co-leaders. Before Bernie had returned from Kiev, most of the staff had been on tenterhooks waiting for Serena to explode or burst into tears. Since they had 'come out' as it were, they had both been the most happy and content anyone had ever seen them. Fletch, Raf and Morven were enjoying working with the two of them. They all had each others back without question, and all worked in tandem with each other. The working relationships were stronger than they'd ever been on the ward. Serena and Bernie had each others backs and their trust in each other reflected throughout the ward. Neither one of them compromised patient care, and their personal relationship never interfered with their professional one. Fletch and Raf, in particular, had really felt the benefits of the changes in atmosphere. They knew that Bernie and Serena were perfect for each other, but their strong friendship and working relationship had set the platform for the grounds and basis for the environment in which AAU was experiencing now. 

Over the past six months, they'd become so close as a family. Bernie and Serena had become almost like the mothers of the ward and everyone else were their children. In some ways, the relationship they all shared was closer than the ones they had with their own children. When working with the same people, day in and day out, it would be impossible not to form the close bonds that they all had, but most people had a dysfunctional working environment, whereas AAU was running like a well-oiled machine. The question on Serena and Bernie's mind, however, was that would their family be happy for them? Or would they try and ruin their happiness?


	42. Chapter 42

42\. Surprise

An hour into their shift and not one person had commented on the fact they were wearing rings. Bernie was hugely disappointed, but she would never let on. She wanted the world to know about her engagement to Serena, but she knew they were at the beginning of a very prosperous and exciting future together so that emotion outlay any dissapointment she may have at the lack of comments on her ring.

As the shift progressed Bernie felt increasingly downtrodden. Serena had been called away for an urgent meeting with Ric. Apologising profusely she'd text Bernie and arranged to meet her at Albies after shift so they could break the news about their engagement. But nobody had commented on her ring, not one person. She knew Raf had seen it when they'd met in Pulses earlier, so why had he not commented. Maybe people were talking behind their backs and didn't approve. They had, after all, moved rather quickly. Maybe people didn't have anything nice to say, so they were saying nothing. 

Bernie knew she shouldn't be bothered by what people thought. All that mattered was her and Serena, but Bernie couldn't help but be disappointed. After everything they'd gone through in the last few weeks, she was glad things were on the up and up for them. She was so happy but why couldn't anyone else be happy for them? Was it enough for two people to be deliriously happy if the rest of the world didn't give a damn?

*********************************

By the time the end of shift rolled around, Bernie couldn't wait to let the cat out of the bag. She'd been conflicted all day as to whether her and Serena would ever be truly happy on AAU without people's wellwishes and blessings. However, just as Bernie was about to leave, she got a text from Serena  
'Hey Bern. Meetings going on longer than I thought. Going to be late to Albies. I'll meet you there as soon as I can. Love you'  
As Bernie read the message, that only added fuel to the fire in the respect of was she doing the right thing? Serena didn't seem in that much of a hurry to tell everyone their news. All she wanted to do was shout it out from the roof of the hospital for everyone to hear but no one else seemed to give a damn, not even her own fiancé. 

The door of the office knocked and Raf popped his head around the door.  
'You okay?'  
'Hi. Come in.'  
Raf came in and shut the door behind him.  
'Penny for them Bernie?'  
'Oh I'm just thinking about Serena.'  
'So she said yes then?'  
The look of surprise on Bernie's face was quickly replaced by one of curiosity.  
'So you noticed?'  
'Yes, of course I did.'  
'Why didn't you say anything?'  
'Because it's nobody's business but yours and Serena's. It's brilliant news though. Congratulations.'  
'Is it?'  
'Yes, why wouldn't it be?'  
'I just don't think Serena is into this as much as I am. We planned to tell everyone tonight at Albies but Serena is conviently in a meeting with Ric. I just can't get over the fact that she's making excuses to get out of it, like she did this morning.'  
'Bernie, she wouldn't have agreed to marry you if she wasn't serious about it. Trust me, she's in this for the long haul. She loves you to death; anyone and everyone within 600 metres of you can figure that out. Come on, let's get down to Albies and have a toast to you and Serena.'  
'Without her?'  
'She'll be along later I have no doubts about that. She isn't one to pass up a chance to down a glass of Shiraz. Come on, trust me, everything will be fine.'  
'How do you know?' 'Call be Cupid, remember?' Bernie chuckled as she turned the light off in the office and walked out. Raf pulled out his phone and quickly sent a text message before following her out. The lights were off in Albies when Bernie and Raf arrived outside. 'Is it open?' 'Yes, their just experiencing some technical hitches of some sort. Come on, let's go and get a drink. I'm parched.' 'I just want to drown my sorrows.' 'Sorrows? Come on Bernie, you can't mean that.' 'Don't I?' However, when Bernie and Raf walked into Albies, the lights were thrown on and the entire AAU jumped up and surprised her. 'Surprise!' 'What is all this?' 'You didn't really buy that whole no-ones business did you. This is the reason no-one commented. We were under strict instructions not to' 'From who?' 'Me.' Serena emerged from behind the door holding a sign saying. 'Happy Engagement.' Bernie had no idea why she sid, but she suddenly burst into tears.


	43. Chapter 43

43\. Engagement Party

Seeing the woman she loved so overcome with emotion that she had broken down in tears was too much for Serena to bear. She wrapped her arms around Bernie and steered her outside, almost forgetting the whole of AAU were stood there staring at the two of them. Raf smiled as she took her outside and told everyone to enjoy themselves in their absence.

Hoping the cool brisk air of the January evening would help Bernie clear her mind, Serena patiently stood next to her for a couple of moments before she'd calmed down enough to talk.  
'Are you okay?'  
'It's one extreme after another today.'  
'Sorry you've lost me?'  
'Overwhelming happiness, extreme disappointment, anger and then complete and utter surprise. You completely caught me off guard.'  
'That was the whole point. A surprise party wouldn't be complete without surprise would it?'  
'No, I suppose not.'  
'What were you disappointed about?'  
'It doesn't matter.'  
'Bern, it's obviously something. It matters to you, so it matters to me, so come on, spill.'  
'I don't know. Just about me and you. Us. Our engagement.'  
'You were disappointed? Why?'  
'Because I wanted to the world to know.' And it just seemed to me that no-one gave a damn.'  
'No, no. I emailed everyone this morning and told them about it. But I ordered them not to comment on anything. I wanted today to be a complete shock to you.'  
'I thought no-one cared enough.'  
'When are you going to get it through your head? Stop being stupid. Everyone cares about you.'  
'So, now my feelings are stupid? They don't matter to you?'  
'I didn't say that. You're putting words in my mouth. What I meant was, you're a vital part of our team on AAU. For you to even think that no-one cares is ludicrous. We couldn't cope without you, surely you know that by now?'  
'I just was so happy this morning. I thought everything was going right for us.'  
'It still is. We can still be so happy. I love you, you love me. You asked me, and I asked you. We both said yes. Just remember that moment. What we said, how we felt.'

Bernie looked up at Serena, who had unwittingly repeated those words from the theatre corridor all those months ago. While it was only six months ago, Bernie felt like it was a lifetime ago. The person she was back then- well they'd well and truly gone now. Bernie could see in Serena's eyes how much shed changed in the last few months. 

'Did you just say that?'  
'Yes. You said it to me all those months ago. And it had stayed with me ever since. Now it's my turn. Please, why can't you just be happy now?'  
'Serena, I was happy, deliriously so this morning. Then I had that feeling I had while I was in Kiev. The feeling of being so alone. I couldn't cope with that. I don't want to be alone. I can't cope. Please don't ever do that to me again.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie and just stood there, protectively shutting her off from prying eyes. Serena thoughts she'd been doing this amazing thing, buyt she had no idea the toll that had taken on Bernie.  
'Baby, I promise, I never wanted to make you feel like that. I love you to death. I never want you to be alone.'  
'You mean that?'  
'Bernie, from the bottom of my heart. I just wanted to do a nice thing for you. I wanted us to celebrate with the rest of our work friends. And I deserve a chance to relax, after the last few weeks with Elinor. But now she's on the mend, it's time to fix you.'  
'Fix me?'  
'Yes, and don't give me that garbage that you're fine. It's taken it's toll on you; but you obviously didn't want to worry me. But I promise you, I'm here. I love you. I need you to lean on me as well, stop trying to do everything yourself.'  
'I don't know why I do that. I just need a hug sometimes.'  
'That's one thing I'm very good at doing.'  
'Well you don't hear me complaining do you? But do you think we should be inside? It's our party after all.'  
'Are you sure? We can go home if you prefer.'  
'Serena Campbell, passing up the opportunity to get drunk on Shiraz. Must be feeling off.'  
'No, the only thing I'm feeling is completely and utterly in love with a certain fiery blonde.'

Bernie pressed a kiss to Serena's lips and moved away, wiping away the tears from her cheeks and eyes.  
'I love you too. Now come on, let's go and enjoy our engagement Party.'  
'Speaking my language, knew there was a reason for me marrying you.'  
'Well that, and our undeniable sexual chemistry.'  
Bernie was rewarded with a chuckle from Serena as they grabbed each other's hands and went to enjoy their party with the rest of their family.


	44. Chapter 44

44\. Coming Round

The next day was a huge day for Serena. They were attempting to bring Elinor out of her sedation. Overnight the heavens had opened; and he snow has been falling non-stop. Serena was so proud of her daughter for fighting back from the brink, but she had no idea what state her daughter would be in when she came round. Her brain had been such little activity that she could have had brain damage. Serena had been through the whole cadet episode before with her own mother. She didn't know if she had it in her again, but this time, she had one thing she didn't have before. Bernie.

The last few weeks had really taken their toll on Bernie, who's been suffering in silence rather than talking to Serena. She had been worried about Serena's ability to cope with so much at once, all she wanted to do was help out as much as possible. 

Arriving on the ward that morning hand in hand, Serena was glad Bernie had managed to wangle the morning off work. With Edward and Liberty snowed in at their house, Serena knew she wouldn't be able to cope. At first Bernie had been reluctant to come with Serena. She couldn't help feeling partly responsible for what had happened, and although Serena had never blamed her, it didn't stop the empty feeling in the pit of the stomach. Guilt.

Bernie was just hoping that Elinor wouldn't blame her in any way, shape or form. Her blessing was the only thing standing in the way of their happiness. Everyone else has accepted them, it was vitally important for Bernie to make peace with Elinor.

An hour passed. The doctors has informed Serena that Elinor was coming round, very slowly. All they could do was wait, wait for some sort of sign from the doctors as to when they could go and sit with her.  
'I still feel like I shouldn't be here Serena.'  
'Why shouldn't you?'  
'Because Elinor wouldn't want me here. We both know that.'  
'Bernie. She said things in the heat of her moment. We both did. I just want to know that my little girl is still in there somewhere. I know it's been hard for her, accepting you. But I will not be made to choose.'  
'I wouldn't ever make you choose. Ellie is your daughter, your flesh and blood. I wouldn't ever expect you to choose.'  
'I know you wouldn't. You, Jason and elinor are the most important people in my life. I love you all equally.'  
'I know. But what if Elinor can't accept us?'  
'Then we won't be as close as we once were?'  
'What do you mean?'  
'Bern, I love you. Elinor is 22. She is a grown woman now. She can't dictate to me anymore about who I can and can't see, or be in love with. I've made my choice and nothing she says will change that.'

Bernie was so overwhelmed with love for Serena. She reached over and grabbed her hand, squeezing it in thanks.  
'So, will you tell her? About..?  
'The engagement? Yes of course. But I had to wait and see what sort of state she is in. I won't know until she's fully awake. She's still coming round.'  
'We have to hope she comes round to the idea then.'  
'Oh I hope she does, but I won't be ditching you if that's what you mean.'  
'I love you so much.'  
'I know. I love you too. Please stop worrying. We're in this together.'


	45. Chapter 45

44\. Tough Talk 

Later that afternoon, Serena was stood outside Elinor's room. She'd been awake for a few hours but she couldn't been seen until the doctors had done checks on her. They'd wanted to check her reflexes, memory and speech. So far all the signs pointed towards the fact that her brain was functioning normally. Serena had breathed a sigh of relief when they'd told her.

Bernie had been by her side all day, never leaving her for a second. But half an hour ago, Fletch has called. A trauma patient had been brought in and only Bernie had the expertise to help. She'd had to put her priorities as a doctor first. Professionalism over personal. She'd hated leaving Serena on her own, but Serena knew she would be back as soon as she could be. For now, she had to face Elinor, see if they could salvage anything. And see if she could accept her lifestyle choice.

Serena took a deep breath and pushed the door open. The lights in the room had been dimmed and Serena could barely see in the room. Elinor had been lying on her back staring at the ceiling, but as the door was pushed open, her eyes flickered to the door to see who it was. Seeing it was her mum, alone, her mouth broke into a smile. She held out her hand, and Serena ran forward and took it instantly.  
'Ellie, I'm so glad your awake.'  
'What happened? I remember the accident but nothing afterwards'  
'My friend found you in the toilets. They had to operate on you 4 times. I thought I'd lost you so many times. But you're a fighter. You battled through the odds and you're here.'  
'You came to be with me. Why?'  
'Ellie, your my daughter. I love you more than anything. I've been here every day.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes.'  
'How...how is Jason? I didn't mean to hurt him. I really didn't. If anything has happened, I don't know what I'll do.'  
'Ssh, it's okay. Don't worry, Jason is completely fine. He's back at home with me and Bernie. And he's back at work next week.'

At the mention of Bernies name, Elinor flinched. She hadn't been expecting to hear that. She thought her mum coming here was a sign that she had chosen her. Elinor dropped her Mums hand.  
'What's the matter?'  
'So you're still with her?'  
'Elinor, I love her. Why is that so hard for you to get your head round? She's been here every day as well. Looking after me, looking after Jason. She really wants us to get along.'  
'Mum, i can't know you while your like this. It's not natural.'  
'Stop that. There's nothing wrong with it. It's not a crime to fall in love, and I won't start apologising for it. I love you, your my daughter, but I can't and won't choose between you.'  
'So, where does that leave me?'  
'Well you have two choices, try and get along with Bernie. She hasn't done anything to you. You know, she just wants to get to know you and show you how much she loves me. Your blessing is so important to her, to both of us.'  
'Why? Why is it so important.'  
'Because...'

Serena's eyes fell on her other hand and the ring. Elinor followed her gaze and her eyes fell on the ring.  
'You're marrying her?'  
'Yes.'  
'Do I not mean anything to you?'  
'Stop this. Like I said, you have two choices. You can either accept us and move on or not. If you can't, then we have a problem. Because I will not give her up. I love her too much to let her go. But I won't lose you either.'  
'So we're stuck then? Because I can't accept it.'  
'Why not?'  
'Because I'm not the only girl in your life anymore.' Elinor practically choked the words out and then broke down. Beneath all the bravado and front, she was just a scared little girl who needed her mum. Elinor had been scared to accept Bernie because she thought she would be pushed out, so she'd reacted badly. 

Serena wrapped her arms around her daughter and pulled her close for a hug.  
'Listen to me. Ellie, just because I love Bernie, that does not mean, in any way, that I love you any less. Love is infinite. We can make as much as we want to. Just because I give a lot of love Bernie, doesn't mean I take any away from you. Please, believe me.'  
'I do. I just don't want to lose you.'  
'Oh baby girl, that's not going to happen. I'm your mother, I love you unconditionally.'  
'Is my blessing that important to you?'  
'Ellie, of course it is.'  
'Then bring Bernie. I'd like to get to know my future step mother.'


	46. Chapter 46

46\. Heart to Heart 

Bernie walked along the corridor, each footstep echoing on the squeaky floor. She was filled with dread at what was to come. She'd returned to the office after a very hard operations to find a text from Serena. She's just battled for 45 minutes to save her latest trauma victim. Sadly not everything had gone as she'd hoped: and she had lost her patient. It was one of those things that Bernie was accustomed to but it didn't make it any easier every time it happened. 

The text has asked her to come down the ward. It hasn't mentioned Elinor or anything else. Despite Serena's words of encouragement this morning, she couldn't help but wonder if Elinor had maybe talked Serena out of the engagement, or worst, out of them completely.

Arriving outside the door, she was sorely tempted to turn around and run away. There was so much hanging on what was going on behind the door.  
'Are you going to go in?'  
Bernie turned around to see Serena stood behind her. The floaty blue shirt she'd out on that morning was one of Bernies favourites. Elinor had bought it for her, for her birthday last year.  
'Hey! What are you doing out here?'  
'Waiting for you. What's the matter? You look like you're about to have a heart attack.'  
'You still stand by what you said earlier?'  
'Yes, what did you think? Elinor would convince me otherwise. What do I need to do to convince you otherwise?'  
'Sorry, I'm just used to seeing the glass half empty rather than half full.'  
'I know.'  
'So, what did she say?'  
'She broke down, and said she felt left out because I had a new girl in my life. She felt like I didn't love her anymore. Once I put her straight, she wanted to meet you.'  
'Seriously?'  
'Yes.'  
'I thought she would never come round to the idea of us.'  
'I love you, she's going to love you.'  
'You think?'  
'Bern, please, stop worrying. We've had plenty of hearts to hearts for me to know when something is really bothering you. Please, trust me, it's going to be fine.'

Bernie turned away from the door and walked over to the chairs on the opposite wall. Serena could tell something else was bothering about her. Following her over, she watched as Bernie sat down, pulled the tie from her hair. As it fell in front of her face, hiding her expression, Serena became worried. 

Crouching in front of her, and pushing her hair out of her face, she caressed Bernies cheek with her hand.  
'This isn't just about Elinor is it? What's up?'  
'Just that operation.'  
'What happened?'  
'Young girl, ran over by a car. I tried to save her but I couldnt. I lost her. But then I felt relieved that it hadn't been that way when Jason and Elinor had been involved. How selfish does that make me?'  
'It doesn't. You lost a patient today, tomorrow you may save one. It's just one of the nasty parts on the job. We aren't machines. We can't save everyone.'  
'Then I felt relieved that that hadn't happened when it was Jason and Elinor involved'  
'And you know why? It shows how much they mean to you. Because you felt relief and their not even your blood.'  
'But Serena...'  
'Bernie, don't apologise for feeling things. It shows me how far you've come, opening up to me about this patient. You have to trust that I'm strong enough to handle this. Remember what I said, lean on me as well.'  
'I'm fine.'  
'Stop that. I know you better than you know yourself and I know when your not.'  
'I can't fool you can I?'  
'No, you know that don't you?'

Serena dropped her other hand to Bernies hand and grabbed her. Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena's back and pulled her into a hug. They just sat there for a moment before Bernie pulled back and stood up.  
'Now our heart to Heart is over, shall I go and see Elinor?'  
'Are you sure you're ready Hun?'  
'Serena, I need to do this. We can't move on until me and Elinor make peace with each other'  
'Would you like me to come in with you?'  
'Thanks; but I think I should get the awkwardness out of the way. In case things don't go to plan, I don't want you to feel compromised.'

Bernie took a deep breath and opened the door. To the unknown.


	47. Chapter 47

47\. Blessing

Elinor had been lying on her back waiting for the woman who had stolen her mums heart. Elinor had no idea what Bernie was like or what made her mum so in love with her. But her mum had made it clear that she wouldn't leave Bernie, so Elinor decided to swallow her pride and try to get to know her, for her mothers sake.

As the door was pushed open, Elinor blinked the tears back from her eyes. She didn't want to show Bernie that she was feeling weak.  
'Elinor?'  
'Hi Bernie. Is my mum with you?'  
'Yes, but I asked her to wait outside. Do you mind? I just thought I don't want her to feel compromised.'  
'I think that's a very good idea.'  
'This is a bit weird isn't it?'  
'Not weird, just awkward.'

Bernie walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair next to it. Elinor could see that Bernie was about the same age as her mum. She looked like a woman who had been running her whole life, and she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was giving off an aura that she wasn't quite as strong as she seemed. Well that, and the nervous expression on her face. Elinor could see her eyes were searching for something to say.  
'I'm sorry.'  
Elinor broke the silence first. Bernie hadn't expected those words from her.  
'Sorry for what?'  
'What I said. It was out of order I'm sorry.'  
'Elinor, you were upset and shocked. I don't harbour any resentment towards you. I was praying you would be okay.'  
'Why? I'm nothing to you.'  
'Elinor, you mean the world to your mum. And she means the world to me. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, well apart from my own children of course. And to see how much pain she was in when you were sedated, I would have swapped places with you in an instant if I could.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes, your mum is my life. I would do anything to make her happy. I even tried to break up with her.'  
'Wait, I'm confused. Why would that make her happy?'  
'Because I thought it was my fault that you had the accident. I couldn't forgive myself. I thought I'd killed both you and Jason.'  
'But you didn't. That was me that did that.'  
'But it all started when I came back from Ukraine. Sometimes I think it would have been best if I'd stayed there. Would have saved all this heartache.'  
'But then Mum would be unhappy.'  
'I know. Whichever way it would have panned out, someone would have been hurt, especially your mum.'  
'You really do love her don't you?'  
'Yes'  
'And you would never hurt her?'  
'I can't promise that. But I love her more than anything. I can promise to always be there for her. And you as well if you would let me. I don't want us to be enemies. We both love your mum don't we, so I'd like to think we can hopefully get along.'

The door was pushed around and Serena popped her head around the door.  
'Is it safe to come in?'  
Elinor smiled at Bernie  
'What did you think was happening? I'd murder her?'  
'Well I had wondered.'  
'Yes, Mum come in.'  
'Bern?'  
'Yeah, come in'

Serena came into the room and shut the door behind her. Walking over to the bed, she sat down on the edge of it in front of Bernie.  
'I can see how much she loves you.'  
'Elinor, I love her so much. It's scary how much I love your mum.'  
'Ellie, what I said, I'm sorry. You know I never meant anything. It was just in the heat of the moment.'  
'Mum, mum, please, can we just forget about it? I just want to focus on mow. And the future. I give you my blessing.'  
'Really?'  
'Bernie, I can see how much you love my mum. I just want her to be happy and she seems the happiest she's ever been. That's down to you. Thank you. I have my mum back.'  
'Your welcome.'  
'Do you think Jason would see me?'  
'I'd like to get to know my cousin.'  
'I can ask him, but I think he'd be delighted.'

Elinor reached her hand out and Serena took them both without question. Bernie stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Serena's shoulders, who leaned back and almost snuggled into her, without letting go of Elinor's hands. They just stayed like that, no one wanting to end the moment.


	48. Chapter 48

48\. Heartache

In that moment, Serena and Bernie were the happiest than they had ever been. Elinor had accepted them, even given them her blessing. She was on the mend as well, what more could they ask for? 

However, Bernie suspected that good things never followed her around for very long, and she had a funny feeling that heartache was just beyond the horizon. Not that she wanting any heartache, she wanted her and Serena to be deliriously and gloriously happy but Bernie always saw things negatively. Call it intuition or her military upbringing; whatever. It was a hunch that she just could not shake. And it was about Elinor. Despite a very good performance, Bernie wasn't 100% convinced by the whole 'little girl lost' attitude. She didn't want to worry Serena but something was up. She couldn't put her finger on what it was. But was she reading too much into things, just like she always was. Should she be questioning Elinor and her motives? 

Serena, however; was blissfully unaware of her fiancé and her worries. She was so happy Elinor had accepted her and Bernie as a couple. She couldn't believe that everything was finally coming together for the two of them. After everything that had happened, the next chapter in their life was about to begin. All they had to look forward to now was their wedding and their life together as a family. Everything was perfect. 

Serena was blissfully unaware, and Bernie was burying her head in the sand, trying to hide her worries about Elinor from the rest of the world. 

However; none of them were prepared for what was about to happen. That would pull them further apart than they ever had been before. Could they survive it?


	49. Chapter 49

49\. Ultimatum 

While Elinor had seemed to be giving her Mum her blessing, in actual fact she was just trying to keep her on side. She had felt alone and scared of her mum having someone new to love; but that emotion had been overwhelming replaced with another, now more pressing matter.

Bernie had decided to put her misgivings about Elinor aside. She was after all Serena's daughter and if she went to  
Serena with these concerns, it would seem like she was trying to find a reason to dish up the dirt on her. Bernie was so in love with Serena, so desperate to keep her happy; that she was willing to ignore her gut instincts to do it. Bernie had decided to bury her thoughts and try to get along with her. That was what prompted her to buy the bunch on carnations. Serena had mentioned they were Elinor's favourite flowers and she wanted to be seen to be making the effort.

Elinor was desperate to talk to Sean. He was the only person who could help her. Rolling over, she turned herself over, her back to the door. Her phone was in her bag, and reaching over to get it; she winced in pain. Still, hopefully Sean help her get over it. Punching out his number, she put the phone to the side of her face.  
'Sean, its Ellie. I know it's been a while. You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Listen; I'm in need of a little pick-me-up. Can you help a friend out babe? You can, that's brilliant. Knew there was a reason I loved you. I'll text you when and where. I'm running out of battery.'

As Elinor put the phone down, she hears a noise behind her. Placing her phone back on the table, she turned around and saw Bernie standing there holding a bunch of carnations. Her favourites.  
'Bernie! Are they for me?' Elinor tried to deter from the fact that Bernie probably heard most of her conversion. How could she talk her way out of this? Bernie put the flowers down on the chair and walked to the side of the bed with her arms folded.  
'Let's cut to the chase Elinor; and done you dare think about lying to me. What's the little pick-me-up you so desperately need?'  
'What? Oh that, nothing.'  
'Didn't sound like nothing, and please don't insult my intelligence. I know exactly what that was. Who's Sean? Your dealer?'  
'Dealer? What gave you that idea?'  
'Elinor, please give me some credit. I'm not stupid. You know; I knew something wasn't quite right. I should have listened to my gut.'

Bernie was taken aback as Elinor began to cry. That was one thing she hadn't been expecting.  
'It was a slip up okay.'  
'You're going to have to do better than that. I know about what happened before. You're mum told me.'  
'I'm not back in them all the time. I just take a little every now and again to help me get through uni. It can get stressful, you know.'  
'Oh believe me, I understand stressful situations more than most; but I've never ever, in my life, turned to drugs. And I wouldn't. Because it's the cop out way.'  
'I'm not addicted or anything.'  
'You said that word not me. Guilty conscience?'  
'I can quit any time I wanted.'  
'So why haven't you? Elinor; your mum is going to be so disappointed in you.'  
'What? You're not seriously going to tell her?'  
'Elinor, I have no choice. This isn't something I can keep from her. I'm marrying her.'  
'So you keep saying. It was a slip up I promise, I won't do it again. Please don't tell my mum, she'll be so disappointed in me.'  
'Maybe I shouldn't tell her.'  
'Really?'  
'Because you will.'  
'What?'  
'I'm deadly serious Elinor. If you don't tell Her I will, because I cannot; and will not keep this a secret from her. You've got until the end of the day to tell her. If you haven't ny then, I will.'  
'Why are you doing this to me?'  
'You did this to yourself. You chose to put that stuff back into your system so don't start playing your petulant childish games with me because I'm not going to fall for it. Either you tell her or I will.'


	50. Chapter 50

50\. Decisions

'Bernie. You can't make me do something against my will. I won't tell my mum.'  
'I'm not making you do anything. I have you a decision to make. Either you tell her or I will. I will not lie to her.'  
'I'm not suggesting you lie to her. Just don't tell her.'  
'Elinor, don't be indignant. You know full well that is the same thing. I love and respect your mother too much to not tell her the truth. How can I not? If it was the other way around, I hope she'd be this firm with my two. Not that Cameron and Charlotte would be that stupid.'  
'So I'm stupid am I?'  
'Stop putting words in my mouth. You're not stupid, but what your doing is.'  
'Who are you to judge me? You don't know anything about me. You don't have the right to pass comment on what I do. You're nothing to me, and you never will be. You might be marrying my mum but that doesn't mean you can tell me what to do with my life.'  
'Oh, have I hit a raw nerve? Elinor, when will you grow up? Stop blaming everyone else for everything that's going wrong in your life. No one made you take drugs, not me, not your mum, not your dad. And your excuse about university is a cop out. Lots of people have stress at uni but they don't turn to drugs.'  
'Really?? I don't think people have to cope with their mum and her sapphic mid life crisis'  
'It's not a mid life crisis and you know that. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you trying to guilt trip me by making me feel bad about being in love with your mum.'  
'It's enough to make anyone turn to drugs.'  
'You really are a piece of work do you know that. What happened to that vulnerable young girl i met earlier?'  
'She's not here anymore.'  
'I know that girl is in there somewhere. She's the real you, not the you that's acting out. You're saying whatever you want to get a reaction, you know you are. I'm not going to rise to it. Your mum loves you unconditionally, she'd do anything to see you right.'  
'Well it's too late. I don't want any help. I'm fine'  
'I've used that line for months. I say it to make the outside world think I'm fine when I'm really not. That's the old trick in the book. You can't kid a kidder, believe me.'

Elinor suddenly broke down in tears. Bernie's words seem to have struck a chord with her. Bernie knew she'd got to the little girl behind all the front. Bernie surprised herself in that moment, she stepped forward and cautiously wrapped her arms around Elinor, waiting to see if she protested. But she didn't. Bernie pulled Elinor in for a quick hug before restraining herself and pulling back.

'I meant what I said. I can't lie to your mum. You need to tell her.'  
'I can't.'  
'Well I don't want to tell her, but if you won't then I will. Trust me, I'm serious. I know you aren't a bad girl but running away from this and burying your head in the sand is not going to make it go away. The longer you hide it the worst its going to get. Trust me' Bernie really hoped Elinor would make the right decision. She didn't want to have tell Serena about her daughter being back on the drugs. It would put such pressure on their relationship if Serena didn't believe her. But why wouldn't she? Bernie wouldn't make something like that ho. She wished Elinor would listen to her advice, but the decision was completely down to her. Decisions, decisions. What would she choose?


	51. Chapter 51

51\. Too Late

Bernie sat in the office racking her brains. She had never felt so torn in her life, besides when she'd had the opportunity to take the secondment in Ukraine. What should she do? She was sure of one thing. Serena had to be made aware of what was going on in her daughters life. Turning a blind eye to anything anymore wasn't an option anymore. Elinor might think she was in control of her addictions but Bernie had seen the effects drugs had had on some of her patients and their families. She knew she couldn't let Serena go through that. Not when she had the knowledge that could help Elinor. 

She seriously hoped that Elinor took her advice on board. Her and Serena would support her 100% if only she could admit she had a problem. That's the first step to recovery. Bernie didn't want to be the bad cop in the situation but she had to be realistic- Serena may just bury her head in the sand. 

Serena walked into the office and immediately noticed Bernie sat in her chair with the back to the door.  
'Bernie?'  
Bernie turned the chair round st the sound of Serena's voice. Serena could see she was deep in thought about something. And it seemed to really be bothering her. Serena was immediately worried.  
'What's up?'  
'I don't know if I should tell you yet. I need to let her do it.'  
'Tell me what?'  
'Serena, you know I love you right?'  
'Bernie, of course, what is this?'  
'I know you love me too, please don't hate me for what I'm about to say.'  
'What's wrong? You're worrying me now?'  
'It's Elinor.'  
'Elinor? What's happened? Is she okay?'  
'In a manner of speaking.'  
'What does that mean?'  
'I didn't want to be the one to tell you this. She's back on the drugs.'

The wind was knocked out of Serena as she took in what Bernie had just told her. Elinor, her daughter, back on the drugs. Could it be true? Serena could scarcely believe it.  
'Are you sure?'  
'Yes. Believe me, I do wish I was wrong but I'm not.'  
'How do you know?'  
'I bought a bunch of carnations for her and took them into her room. She was on the phone, to some guy Sean and needing a pick me up.'  
'Sean. Not him again.'  
'Do you know him?'  
'He's her dealer from last time. Oh god, I thought she'd stopped. I thought she was finally getting her life back on track.'  
'So you believe me?'

Serena stepped forward and pulled Bernie up out of her chair; embracing her in a hug.  
'Of course I believe you. Thank you for telling me, because I know she wouldn't have. And it could have been so much worst. I need to go and see her, get to the bottom of this and where we go from here.'  
'Shall I come with you?'  
'Of course, you're family, whatever Elinor might have said.'

*********************************

When they reached Elinor's ward however, they were in for a shock. The nurses informed them that about 20 minutes ago a young man had come on to the ward, claiming to be Elinor's boyfriend. When the nurses had gone back to check on her, Elinor and the boy had gone. 

She'd been scared to tell her mum so she'd done a bunk. She shouldn't have gone, the doctors were concerned about her head injury. Serena knew only too well what could happen if injuries went untreated. Her and Bernie had completed enough of these operations in their time. 

Bernie blamed herself just like she always did. She should have told Serena sooner, as soon as she had found out. Now she'd done the right thing, but it was too late. Elinor had gone, but the question remained- was it too late to save her?


	52. Chapter 52

52\. Heartache

Serena was beside herself with worry. There were so many things that could be going on right now. Elinor could be getting off her face on drugs, overdosing on too many, bleeding to death because of her injuries. Every minute Serena thought of another possible scenario involving her daughter, each one more terrifying than the last. It was her worst nightmare as a mother- knowing her daughter could be anywhere doing anything with anybody and being powerless and clueless to stop it.

Had Elinor been that worried about what might happen when her mum had found out what she was doing that she'd done a runner from the hospital? Or was she just desperate for her next fix and would have done anything to get it? Serena hoped it was the first option but that didn't explain why Sean had came to the hospital. If he had come and she'd left with him, they must be back in a relationship and she was after more drugs. Serena dreaded to think what that must mean. If Bernie hadn't have told her then she'd still be none the wiser.

But there was a part of Serena that wished Bernie had never told her. Then she'd know where her daughter was- downstairs, getting the medical treatment she so needed. She knew it wasn't Bernies fault, but it didn't make it any easier. It was a bit of a no-win situation. Serena was glad Bernie had told her about the situation so she wasn't in the dark; but she wished she didn't know so she'd know where her daughter was and that she was safe and sound.

Whatever the way the cookie had crumbled, this was the hand that Serena had been dealt. Whatever the suitation, it would have caused her heartache and pain. She just wanted to know what had happened to her little girl.


	53. Chapter 53

53\. Torn Apart

Serena waited for news long into the evening. She hadn't left the hospital. She stayed in her office by her phone in case Elinor decided to ring or get in contact. She didn't want a repeat of what happened with Bernie, and missing her call.

Bernie. That woman, the one she was engaged to; had failed to be there this evening. She'd made herself scarce and taken Jason saying something about needing to keep his routine. Jason would have been fine. Bernie had been a guiding light to her though the dark days after the accident. Why wasn't she here now? 

*********************************

Bernie knew it was time to go and see if Serena was okay. Jason had retired to bed to watch a film, so she left a note in case he came down to find out where she was. She was so desperate to get him sorted and settled for the evening, that she'd left her hair tied up and her trauma scrubs on. Her real clothes were back her locker, at the hospital. 

Jason had been none the wiser about what had happened that day with Elinor. It had been an extra-ordinary day. And Jason hadn't been privy to it, so why should his routine have been spoilt because of it? And Bernie had been desperate for an hours break from the hospital; desperate to give Serena some space. Bernie couldn't help feeling that Serena blamed her for what happened. If she'd spoken sooner Serena might have been able to save Elinor from going even more off the rails.

********************************

Serena and Bernie should have been supporting each other at this time. Instead they were separated, torn apart by blame and guilt. It wasn't anybody's fault but Elinor's but they were taking their hurt out on each other without even realising it. 

Those two words that had played such a paramount part in their lives weren't done messing about with them yet. What if? What if everything they had had gone because of Elinor? What if they continued to take their hurt out on each other? What if instead of uniting in their hurt, they continued to be torn about by emotions? So many unanswered questions, what if?


	54. Chapter 54

54\. Clinging On

Bernie walked into the lift, holding her breath. Now Jason was settled for the night, she'd come back to be with Serena. Bernie had very little grasp on what was going through right at this moment- it was every mothers worst nightmare. Their child going off the rails and being powerless to stop it. Bernie had to be there for Serena now more than ever, because there was no way of telling, when, or even if Elinor would come home.

As the lift doors closed in front of her, Bernie forces herself to breath out, trying to remain calm. So much had happened that day, it had been one tidal wave of emotion after the other for all parties involved. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she, Serena and Elinor had been clinging on to each other in the office, when in actual fact it had only been a few hours- that very morning in fact. How was it possible to go from feeling like such a close knit family and being so happy to the opposite, of feeling alone, fractured and torn apart in just a few hours?

One word. Guilt. That was the answer

As the lift doors slid open, Bernie took the tentative steps down the corridor towards AAU. Bernie knew this place like the back of her hand, and walked this corridor every day, but at times it had felt so long and unforgiving. There would be few staff on tonight so they should be able to get some privacy and alone time in their office without being interrupted. None of them were technically supposed to be here anyway but Bernie knew that Seren felt comfortable here. AAU was her baby, it was the place she could be herself and forget all the drama from home. Bernie was staring to feel exactly the same. AAU was fast becoming her sanctuary, her bolt hole where she could do what she did best and save people. Now she had to do it all over again, and save Serena. Save their relationship from becoming a mass of hatred and bitterness when all it would take was a few words of love from one to the other.

Opening the doors to AAU, Bernie walked in. There was only 5 patients overnight and 2 nurses on the night shift doing thei rounds. Everything was calm and the ship was running smoothly. Peering into the office she could see Serena with her head in her hands blotting out the world. Bernie knew that stance far too well. It showed that Serena was struggling. She was clinging on to the hope that Elinor would be okay. Clinging on for dear life, because if she didn't, she'd lose her grip on reality and her emotions would come flooding out. Knocking on the window, she wanted Serena to acknowledge she was there and if she wanted to be alone Bernie would completely understand. 

Serena heard a knock at he window and was momentarily distracted. Glancing to her left, she saw Bernie. Bernie, come at last. There eyes met for a brief second before Serena broke the contact. Serena was barely holding it together, and Bernie knew her inside and out. Almost as well as she knew herself; so she couldnt pretend with her. Bernie knew when Serena was okay and when she wasn't, Serena didn't even have to say anything to her. Serena watched her for a moment, standing there in her scrubs, with her hair escaping from her tie, as usual, almost pleading with her eyes to let her come in. 

Serena got up and nodded, telling Bernie she could come in. Bernie nodded back and walked straight to the door. Taking a deep breath, Bernie opened it. As soon as their eyes met, Bernie saw Serena's eyes well up with tears. Serena started to blink then back.

On an impulse, Bernie took the two steps forward and wrapped her arms around Serena's neck, pulling her in for a right hug. Initial surprise was followed by relief for Serena as she wrapped her arms around Bernies waist; pulling her closer and resting her head in the crook of her neck. Together they stood there clinging on. Each one clinging on to the other, afraid to let go.


	55. Chapter 55

55\. Support

They just stood there, continuing to cling to each other.  
'I'm sorry' Bernie sounded apologetic  
'I can't do this alone. You know that.'  
'I'm right here.'  
'But you weren't.' Serena removed her arms from Bernies waist and pushed her away. She folded her arms across her own chest, almost shielding herself from any more physical contact.  
'I couldn't be. Not then.'  
'Why? My daughter could be anywhere doing anything with anyone, and you choose that moment to check out. You bailing on me?'  
'Why would you even think that?'  
'Because, you can't handle when thinaga get tough. I know you Bernie. And this is our biggest hurdle to date. If anything happens to Elinor, things between us will never be the same again.'  
'I know that. I love you, not the way things were between us. Well I do, but nothing can stay the same forever. I need you to stop thinking I'm going to check out on you. I'm right here.'  
'I know, but for how long?'  
'Forever, if you let me.' 

Bernie pulled Serena back into the hug.  
'Serena Campbell, I know you can't do this on your own. But you need to let me in. I'm here to support you. Whatever you need, I'm with you all the way. But I'm not a mind reader. I love you, I can't stand seeing you in pain. I have no idea what is going through your head right now because I've never been in this situation before. Talk to me, I'm your outlet. You think I can't handle it, but, trust me, I can.'  
'Bernie, you weren't here.'  
'Do you know why?'  
'Because you couldn't handle it?'  
'I'll tell you. Guilt.'

Serena withdrew from the embrace and looked Bernie in the eye.  
'Guilt? What are you feeling guilty about?'  
'I thought you blamed me. I should have told you as soon as I found out. And by the time I did; it was too late. I thought you blamed me. I thought you would not want to see me and I couldn't handle hay feeling, so yes, I took Jason home, but I came back. Back for you, like I always do.'  
'Why on earth would I blame you? If it's anyone's fault it's mine. I should have been more aware of Ellie and her problems. I was convinced everything would be fine, but you. You, you had a feeling and you kept at it. And you got to the bottom of the matter. Yes, without you, Elinor would still be in hospital and she'd be safe, but I'd be none the wiser about her problems. It's a toss up really, but for what is worth, I'd rather know the truth.'  
'Seriously? You don't blame me.'  
'No, why would I. You haven't done anything wrong? Bernie; you have to always think the negative in a situation. You always seem to know what to say and do in the situation to make me feel better.'  
'That's what love is I suppose.'

Serena caught Bernie's eye and a small smile spread across her lips at those 6 words that her fiancé had just uttered. They didn't know what the next few days would hold in terms of Elinor, but they knew they had to be the support for each other, rather than tearing each other down.


	56. Chapter 56

56\. Safe?

The next day bought much of the same. Serena couldn't stop worrying about Inor- who she was with, what she was doing? The fact that she was back on drugs had added a newer sense of urgency to the problem. If she was addicted badly she could be doing anything to get her next fix. Serena didn't know how desperate her daughter was, she just wanted to know she was safe. 

Bernie couldn't help Serena much when she was like this. All she could do was be there for her, if and when she wanted to talk. Silent and strong. That was the words Bernie kept in her mind. Having that approach would help Serena know she wasn't alone, but that she could have breathing space. Bernie was flying blind in this situation. It was unchartered territory for them both and they had to muddle through as best as they could.

*********************************

'Ellie, it's me. Sweetheart, I'm not angry, i promise. I need to know you're okay. I can't sleep easy until I know you're back in hospital being looked after. Please, please come back to the hospital. All I want to do is help you'  
'Elinor, it's Bernie. I had to tell your mum, but she's not angry, neither of us are. But you shouldn't be away from the hospital, not with what happened and how close your mum came to losing you. Do the right thing and come back. Please, for your mum if no-one else.'  
'Elinor, its me, cousin Jason. Auntie Serena is very worried about you. We all are. You shouldn't have left hospital, it wasn't the right thing to do and you know that. Come home, Auntie Serena is being miserable again and it's not nice to see her this way.'

Elinor sat in the car listening to the messages, tears rolling down her cheeks. Why had she upsticks and left the hospital? Her mum wasn't mad at her, she knew she had to go home, but how could she begin to explain all of this to her Mum? 

*********************************

Serena and Bernie had been thinking of going to the police. Bernie could see no other option but Serena wasn't so sure. While she didn't abide with what Elinor had done, once the police were involved there was no going back. She knew that from bitter experience with Cameron. He'd tried to cover up what had happened and things hadn't gone to plan. Bernie had nearly risked her career and her relationship with Serena in jeopardy just for the sake of her son. 

'I don't know what to do. I want her to be found but if I tell the police she's on drugs, she's going to be in a lot of trouble.'  
'But isn't it better to know she's safe?'  
'Bernie, you know what the police will do. They'll lock her up.'  
'Not necessarily. I don't know what to suggest. I just think we need to do everything in our power to find her that's all.'  
'She'll be back I know it.'

Bernie leant forward in her chair and grabbed Serena's hands making her pull her gaze from the floor and meet her eyes.  
'Serena, I know you love her, but you maybe have to think about what is best for her. Burying your head in the sand, hoping she's going to be okay isn't an option. We've got to tackle it head on, and right now, the only way I can see to do that is to let the police know.'  
'You're right.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes, I don't want her to get in to trouble. But I would rather her be safe and back in my arms, then out there doing anything with anyone, desperate for her next fix.'  
'Okay.'  
'Thank you.'  
'For what?'  
'Being here, being you. This is what I meant. About not doing it alone.'

Bernie was about to reply when Serena's phone vibrated. Letting go of one of Bernies hands, she pulled it out and read the text message  
''Mum, I'm sorry, I've messed up I know. Can you please come and get me?''

She practically screamed in relief and showed Bernie the message with her few hand, still not letting go.  
'She's okay'  
'Seems like she's seen the error of her ways. What are you waiting for Serena, call her, and go and get her?'  
'Bernie?'  
'Yeah'  
'Will you come with me?'  
'Of course I will.'  
'Really?'  
'Serena, you don't even need to ask. I'm here for you, whatever you need.'  
'Right now, I need a hug.'

Bernie smiled at Serena and went round to face her. Grabbing her other hand, and entwining their fingers together, Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her in for a hug.  
'I can't believe she's okay.'  
'Believe it Serena, she's your daughter. In a short while, it will be her you're hugging not me. She'll be safe in your arms and that's all that matters'


	57. Chapter 57

57\. You're Mine

Elinor was beyond relived now she was back in her mums car, safe and sound. When Bernie had left, she'd thought that it was the best thing that she tell her Mum. But then Sean had turned up expectedly at the hospital with her pick-me-up. She'd taken the cowards way out and ran away. 

She'd gone with Sean to the squat to score but she couldn't go through with it, and spent the night in his battered mondeo. Guilt. Elinor knew if she hadn't done anything about it; then it would have eaten her from the inside out, and she couldn't have handled that. She couldn't stop crying when she'd listened to the message on her phone. She knew she had to cut her losses and go home.

Serena took Elinor straight back to the hospital where she should be, and they immediately took her for a CT to see if she'd done anymore damage. Bernie had been with Serena, not leaving her side for a moment. She'd gone with Serena to pick Elinor up, been there all the way back and was in the ward, waiting for news. All he time, leaving Serena in no doubt that she really didn't have to do it alone. 

They waited an hour to be told Elinor had fallen asleep after her scan. They were waiting on the results so Serena and Bernie took the opportunity to check on AAU

*********************************

AAU was running like the smooth ship they'd nurtured it to be. Everybody knew what was going on, so they had taken to all doing that little bit extra to take the strain off Bernie and Serena. Seeing that everybody had it in hand, they went into the office to grab some alone time. 

As soon as Bernie shut the door, two arms wrapped themselves around her waist and pulled her close.  
'Thank you.'  
'What for?'  
'You know what for, for being with me.'  
Bernie grabbed Serena's hands and turned around to face her.  
'There is nowhere i would rather be. Serena, I love you. I'm with you whatever the world throws at us.'  
'You mean that don't you?'

Bernie pressed her lips against Serena's. It was the first time they'd kissed in a few days, neither of them realising just how much they'd missed the feel of each other until it was happening. So much had happened; but one thing that never changed was the feelings they both got when their lips came into contact with each other.

After a moment, Bernie pulled back, remembering where they were and that anyone could walk in on them.  
'Serena, I mean it. Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere. I promise; we'll be fine. We can weather the storm together, even dance in the rain if you want; but I'm here with you. Do you know why?'  
'Because you love me?'  
'Yes. More than you could possibly know. Whatever happens. Nothing is going to break us.'  
'Individually we're fierce, but together we're an unbreakable force that can't be torn apart.'  
'Not any more no. We're fierce, forceful and we're forever. Remember that.'  
'I will.'  
'I'm yours forever, and you're mine.'


	58. Chapter 58

58\. Rehab

The next morning, as soon as Elinor was awake, Bernie and Serena went straight down to see her. Yesterday had been a difficult day for them, so they'd left her to sleep. Her CT had come back clear, so they'd both gone home to discuss their options. They had both agreed that Elinor should go to rehab, and after much persuasion, Ric had agreed to call in an old favour with a friend at a drugs rehabilitation centre. There was a place waiting for her, but now all they had to do was persuade her to go. 

Serena didn't think she could have done any of it without Bernie. Her rock through everything, continued to provide her with the strength she needed to get through the challenges, that presented themselves to her with each new day. Her mind sprung back to the conversation the evening before.

'We're fierce, forceful and forever.' Those words would stay with Serena forever. She hoped they would come to have as much affect on her life as the other two- what if, but for very different reasons. What if was surrounded with such uncertainty, such unknown territory whereas the others presented themselves exactly as they were. They described the power Bernie and Serena held when they were together- they held such a bond that was unbreakable. 

*********************************

Upon reaching the ward, Bernie found Serena's hand before they went in. She wanted her to know she was there for her to lean on. Squeezing it response, Serena smiled to herself and pushed open the door to Elinor's room.

Elinor was propped up on her pillows waiting for her Mum and Bernie. As soon as they walked in hand in hand, Elinor burst into tears.  
'Mum, I'm so sorry.'  
Serena rushed over to the her daughter and put her arms around her, desperate to stop the tears before she was brought to tears as well. After a minute, Elinor's sobs subsided and Serena pushed her daughter away and sat down on the side of the bed, with Bernie taking the chair next to her.  
'Apologies are all well and good but that won't solve the problem. What happened? You were doing so well.'  
'It's harder than you think Mum. Unless you've been here, you'll never truly appreciate what it's like. I was doing well, but I've had so much stress with uni.'  
'But, Ellie, you could have spoken to someone. Going back on the gear wasn't the right option, you must know that.'  
'Yes, I do. After I took it the first time, I realised it was wrong, but by then it was too late. I was desperate for more and more.'  
'Why didn't you talk to me?'  
'Because I was ashamed, and you were busy setting up the trauma unit and Bernie and everything.'  
'Elinor, please don't use me and your Mum as an excuse for your drugs. I love her, I won't apologise for it.'  
'Bernie, I'm just saying, if was a lot to cope with. It's not an excuse. It was a lot to get used to, but now I see how much you need each other, how much you love my mum, and all I want is for her to be happy.'  
'Ellie, you could have come to me at any time, you know that. You're more important to me than the trauma unit.'  
'And as for me, I would have understood. You are your mums top priority, and you always will be. Just like Cameron and Charlotte are mine.'  
'I know that, if just didn't seem right to bring all my trouble to you.'  
'Well that doesn't matter now, what matters is getting you the help.'  
'I've managed to get you a place at a rehabilitation centre in Manchester. It's going to be hard work but I think it's what you need. Me and your mum have had to work so hard to get you this opportunity.'  
'I'll go. I promise you I'll go. I'll do whatever it takes. I want to be me again.'

Serena leant forward and put her arms around her daughter, pulling her into a hug. Elinor wrapped her arms around her Mum, never wanting to let go. Bernie smiled as she watched the two of them embrace, and then wrapped her arms around the two of them, shielding them from the outside world, protecting them almost, just as she knew she always would.


	59. Chapter 59

59\. Happy Valentines

Two weeks had passed since Elinor had gone to rehab. Saying goodbye had been the hardest thing for Serena. Her daughter had looked so small in the back of the car, but it was the right thing to be done. 

Now Elinor was focussing on getting herself better, Serena turned her attention to the other woman in her life. Bernie, the woman who she loved so much. Her chest thumped with love when she thought of her. And there was special day coming up that Serena planned to use to show her how much. Bernie has given her son much love, attention and support the last few weeks, it was time to give her some back. 

The weak February sunshine shone through a gap in the curtains. As Bernie opened her eyes, she blinked as the sun came streaming in. While it was sunny it was freezing, and Bernie could feel her teeth chattering. Snuggling down under the duvet, she refused to give in, but as she made to close her eyes again, a pair of hands covered her eyes.  
'Serena?'  
'Good Morning'  
'Good Morning. You sound in a good mood this morning.'

Serena removed her hands from Bernies eyes and moved them down to her neck and snuggled in closer. Kissing her shoulder blades through her pyjamas, Serena felt Bernie relax.  
'I am in a good mood.'  
'And why might that be?'  
'You know why?'  
'Do I?' 

Bernie rolled over to face Serena. Serena was beginning to look worried as if Bernie had forgotten what today was. Serena had spent the last few days planning every second of this day. She wanted to show Bernie just how much she loved her, just how much she's appreciated her being there for her through everything. Serena knew she'd been distant from Bernie, and Bernie hasn't said a word, but it had been hard on both of them. Now that everything was getting back on track, she wanted to focus on Bernie for once. But now, what with everything that had happened, Bernie had only gone and forgotten what today was.

Watching Serena look worried was too much for Bernie to handle. Of course she hadn't forgotten what today was. How could she? Today was the day for love. Showering those you love with attention; seeing how much they mean to you . But watching the woman she held above everything else looking like she was about to cry; Bernie took pity on her. She'd only been pretending but seeing Serena in pain that she could stop was a new feeling for Bernie. 

Bernie propped herself up on one arm and pulled Serena in for a kiss. After a moment, Bernie began to smile and pulled away.  
'Happy Valentines.'  
'So you did remember?'  
'Of course i did. Why wouldn't I?'  
'I thought, what with everything, you'd forgotten.'  
'I was only pretending. Of course I wouldn't forget. Today is about, us, me and you.'  
'I love you so much Major Wolfe.'  
'As do I you Serena Campbell. Happy Valentines.'  
'Happy Valentines.'  
'Do we have to get out of bed yet? I want us to stay here for a while.'  
'I like the way you think Ms Wolfe.' 

Serena leant over and resumed the kiss that had just been broken off. Bernie pulled her even closer as they both began to kiss more madly and passionately. Serena pushed her hands up into Bernies hair, pulling her even closer. As things began to get more passionate, Bernie pulled the duvet over their heads, so they could have their own space away from any prying eyes or any distractions.


	60. Chapter 60

60\. Gifts from the heart

Later that day; after satisfying their desires for each other; they deigned to get out of bed. Serena and Bernie had Valentines presents for each other that they'd both spent an awful lot time on. 

They'd both been very thoughtful at Christmas and had both loved their presents then. The photo Bernie had made for Serena, hung above the fireplace so everyone could see it. And as for the locket, Bernie wore it everywhere she went , even to bed. The only time she took it off was when she changed into her trauma scrubs. It was amazing how much they worried about what to get each other, but the presents they had found had been perfect. 

Bernie hoped her present would be loved by Serena. It had taken her a lot of time to pick one out and design it. She gave Serena a box wrapped in paper. Picking it up with much anticipation, Serena wondered what could be inside. She gave Bernie a larger present, who picked it up nervously. They both opened them at the same time, not knowing how their present would go down with the other, and hoping they'd like whatever they were given. 

Serena was the first to open her present. She ripped off the paper to reveal a little black box. The last time Bernie had given her a black box, neither one of them could have foreseen what would have happened. They'd been torn apart further than they could have ever imagined, but they'd come through it stronger and closer than they'd ever been before. Holding her breath, she opened it to reveal a watch. At first glance, it looked like an ordinary ladies watch. But it wasn't. The face in the watch was a photo of Bernie and Serena.  
'Do you like it?'  
'It's beautiful.'  
'The watch isn't just an ordinary watch. It was my mums.'  
'Bernie; your mums. Are you sure you want to pass something so precious on to me?'  
'Serena; look at the face of the watch.'  
Serena took the watch out of the box and held it up to the light. She could see the photo. She couldn't believe Bernie had put a photo of the two of them in something so precious.  
'Bernie; I don't know what to say. I love it.'  
'That's all I wanted to hear. And in answer to you're question, yes I do. My mum was the most important person in my life. I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather give it to. I love you.'  
'What about Charlotte?'  
'Serena, me and Charlotte are never going to have the best relationship. She's a daddy's girl and she always will be. I have a bracelet of my mums that is far more her style anyway. Please, take it.'  
'Bernie, I love it. I can't believe you would give something that precious to me. Thank you.'  
'You are welcome.'  
'Will you open my present now? I really hope you like it.'

Bernie pulled off the paper and sat speechless staring at her present from Serena. It was a photo frame split into three sections. The first photo was the two of them on Christmas Day drinking Shiraz around the table. Jason had taken that photo. Under that photo, the word FIERCE was written in fancy calligraphy. The second photo was of the two of them in the office on AAU. Bernie in her trauma scrubs and Serena in her favourite orange floaty shirt. They had their arms around each other- Raf had taken that one, just after the new year. Under that photo, the word FORCEFUL was written. And the last photo, was in a heart. Their hands held, with their engagement rings on show. That photo; in black and white had the word FOREVER written under it. 

Bernie looked up at Serena through a mass of tears. She couldn't believe that she'd spent that amount of time on this. It was beautiful.  
'Do you like it?'  
'Serena. I absolutely love it. It's beautiful.'  
'I really hoped you would like it. Those words have stuck with me ever since you said them to me. I want you to know how much. I love you.'  
'I love you too. I absolutely love this. It puts my gift on the back burner. Not very heartfelt.'

Serena grabbed Bernies cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. They had become so close in the last few weeks ever since Elinor had gone to rehab. Their intimacy had returned. After a minute, Serena pulled back and covered her own hands with Bernies.  
'You're gift is just as precious. It came from your heart. It means a lot to you, therefore it means a lot to me. Both our gifts are amazing because they came from our hearts. Your present was sentimental value for you. I know how much it meant for you to give that to me'  
'I love you, and I love your present.'  
'Same here.'

Their gifts were equally as important to each other. They had both spent a lot of time and effort into their presents. Their gifts showed their love and commitment for each other. Their gifts were full of love and from the heart.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last instalment of Valentines Day. Serena has planned every minute of the evening but as Bernie hates surprises, will everything go to plan?

61\. Evening Plans 

Valentines wasn't over yet and Serena wanted to make every single second of the day count. Her and Bernie had been through so much in the last few months. Tonight was about them, remembering why they were in love with each other, and she'd planned the evening accordingly.

Serena had left the house early to get everything ready. Bernie had been under strict instructions to be outside the hospital at 6pm precisely. Jason was staying the night with Fletch and Raf. He'd been persuaded to go over there after Serena had promised him a new computer hard drive for his laptop. The things she'd do for the sake of love. 

Bernie had wondered with much anticipation what Serena had planned for her. She hates surprises but she knew Serena was desperate to please, so she'd gone along with it. Serena had told her to dress down and wrap up, so that had told her they were going to be spending some time outside, whatever they were doing. 

At 6pm, Bernie drew up outside the hospital in her car. Not knowing what to expect, she got out and looked around. Bernie's phone buzzed and she pulled it out.  
'Go to Pulses, and get the first of many surprises. Further requests may follow.'  
Smiling to herself, she went inside to the hospital and up to the coffee shop. She spent so many hours of her time in this place that the girls behind the counter knew her by name. As soon as she walked up to counter, they smiled at her and reached under the counter and pulled out a picnic basket. That was one thing Bernie hadn't been expecting.

Bernie opened up the basket to reveal- pastries, coffee, fruit and chocolate. Serena had obviously planned a picnic outside somewhere? Bernies heart thumped with love when she thought how much time and effort she must have spent on this. All she'd been hoping for was a meal out somewhere, none of this. Serena had well and truly shocked her, and she continued to do so.  
Her phone buzzed again.  
'I'm on the roof.'

Bernie was shocked to find Serena in the hospital. This had been the last place she had envisaged spending her Valentines evening, but now she thought about it, as she made her way to the lift, this place had been where it had all happened. The place they'd first met, the place they'd become best friends, the place they'd shared their first kiss and the place they'd first said I love you. It was more than a place. It was their home. 

*********************************

As Bernie arrived on the roof, carrying the basket under one arm, she was met by Dom.  
'Dom! What are you doing here?'  
'When Serena told me what she had planned for the two of you, I knew that I had to lend her my help. She wanted to go to the park, but I said that this was far more romantic. After all, me and you have had many discussions up here about Serena and Isaac.'  
'Aww thank you. What did Isaac do for Valentines?'  
'I'm not sure he's even remembered. He's busy with his research projects, but tonight is about Berena love.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'Berena? That's my new name for the two of you. I think it's cute.'  
'Well you're the only one, but I like the touch. I could get used to that.'  
'That's exactly what Serena said to me. Now get out there and go and get your lady.'

Bernie walked out of the door and out to the roof. At first glance the roof looked just as it always did, but she noticed rose petals had been scattered in an arrow shape, indicating to turn the corner. 

Rounding the corner, Bernie saw Serena lying on a picnic blanket, staring at the stars. Candles were at each corner of the blanket, adding to the atmosphere that the sky was full of stars and not a cloud in sight, and it was the perfect atmosphere for a romantic picnic.  
'What kept you?'  
'I got waylaid.'  
'By Dom? No surprises there. He came up to see what was going on and you weren't even here yet.'  
Bernie put the basket down on the blanket and sat down on the blanket.  
'This is just incredible. Thank you.'  
'You like it then?'  
Bernie entwined her fingers in Serena's and pulled her over for a kiss. After a moment, she broke the kiss.  
'Does that answer your question? I love it. It's so thoughtful, so romantic, so perfect.'  
'This last bit I did get some help  
With.'  
'Yes Dom mentioned. He also mentioned the name Berena.'  
'I know, he said he thought it was cute. I like it. It's our names together. Perfect considering the situation, our names were about the only thing that hadn't been put together.'  
'I like the sound of it as well. Has a nice ring to it.'  
'Yes, I'll never get tired of hearing it.'  
'Neither will I. But seriously, today has been the best day ever. I couldn't have wished for a better day.'  
'I hoped you might think that. I wanted to show you just how much I love you. The last few months haven't been easy, but you've been there, through everything.'  
'Where else would I be? I told you, I'm in this forever.'  
'As am I, but you have to know that I never forgot about us. I love you now more than ever.'  
'I know that, believe me.'  
'Happy Valentines.'  
'Happy Valentines'

Happy Valentines Berena!!!


	62. Chapter 62

62\. One Year On

Barely a week after Valentines Day and Bernie had another special day. It was a year to the day since she'd joined the hospital as a doctor. 23rd February 2016. She knew she would never forget that date. It was the start of her life changing. She could never have foreseen what would have happened in this last year. From that first day, starting on Keller, up to now. One year on. Such a lot had changed- including herself.

Remembering her first chance meeting with Serena in the hospital car park, she smiled to herself. Serena had struck her then as different. Her sense of style had defineltey improved in the last year- that cardigan she'd had on looked like something her grandma would have worn. And the first time they'd shook hands, they had physical contact with each other, Bernie had realised how soft her hands were. And she found herself smiling when they were talking. Of course they had bonded over their surgical experience but Serena mentioned Shiraz and Bernie had smiled. 

If she could have foreseen that that chance meeting would have lead them to where they were today, she would never have believed it. Holby had been her last chance saloon as far as her marriage and children were concerned. She'd had her fair share of skeletons that she hadn't wanted to go over, but when Marcus presented her with divorce papers in the middle of AAU, who'd been there yet again- Serena. 

From that moment on, Serena had been a friend to her, because she'd been through the divorce with Edward and wanted to help. Bernie knew she had been lying but didn't want to lose her friend. But that's exactly what happened, when she got outed in front of the entire Keller ward- including Serena.

For a while, she felt completely alone and friendless, but after Serena had her car stolen and they bonded over a patient impaled on a bath tap, she found herself loving her work again. Then Serena was suspended, and they'd offered her the chance to work on AAU permanently with Serena. Bernie had jumped at the chance, but when Serena returned, Bernie couldn't bring herself to tell her and she'd almost lost Serena as a result. Fortunately, Serena had come to her senses and proposed they both be co-leads of AAU.

That was the start of everything changing between the two of them. Everyone else around them had realised that they were slowly falling for each other, but they were slow to catch on. Until the day when Fletch was stabbed. Up until then, it had just been mild flirtation and looks between the two of them. They'd become very close in those few months though, with Bernies personal life affecting AAU, and Serena always being there to help her. It had been Serena who had proposed the trauma bay. Serena, who had coveted for her, on the opening day. Serena; who covered yet again, when her son Cameron turned up on the ward. Serena. Always. 

That day, Fletch, getting stabbed, bought them closer than they could have ever foreseen, but then they'd been torn apart by guilt and not knowing what to do from here. Then Bernie had gone to Kiev, in an effort to give them both some much needed space. Since her return, there had been so many testing times, and her and Serena had come through the other side, batters and bruised, but still going strong together.

One year on, she was amazed by how much shed changed. She no longer ran away from anything, though so many times, she wished she had. Her and Serena were stronger and closer than they'd ever been before. She knew if they could handle what they had in the last year than they could handle anything. One year on, here's to the next forty one, together she thought.


	63. Chapter 63

63\. Future

Elinor was doing well in rehab, but wasn't ready to come home yet. Jason was being his usual self about his schedule and routine. Everyone on AAU was getting along just fine, everything was looking up.

Serena sat in the office, with the door ajar overlooking the ward. She didn't realise how much she'd missed being here. With everything that has happened in the last few weeks with the accident, her daughter going missing, the engagement, everybody had had their fair share of testing times, but they'd all come out the other side, fighting, stronger than they ever were. 

Bernie appeared at the doorway with a bottle of Shiraz and two glasses.  
'Hey.'  
'Hello, what's the occasion?'  
'It's a year today since I first became a doctor here.'  
'And a year since we first met. God, that has gone so quick.'  
Bernie shut the door behind her and sat down in the chair next to the door, just across from Serena. Pouring a glass for her, she held it out for her to take. As their hands met over the cool metal of the glass, Serena felt a shudder run down her spine. Every time their hands met, Serena experienced that feeling. It was something she knew she would never get tired of. 

Bringing her eyes up to meet her fiancés, she took the glass from her. They just sat and stared at each other for a moment, before breaking the contact.  
'It's been a hell of a year hasn't it?'  
'Yes, but you know what? I wouldn't change any of it for the world. Because it's shown me how strong I can be. Before I met you, I thought I was destined to be a coward for the rest of my life. This year I have learnt more about myself than I've learnt in the other 50 years I've been on this planet.'  
'I know. I've learnt more about you than I ever thought we could. I never thought we would be that close. I never thought I would be this head over heels for anyone, not at this time of my life. It's been a turbulent year, but we've come out the other side, do you know why?'  
'Why?'  
'Because we're fierce, forceful and forever.'

Bernie reached over and took Serena's hands. Those words were playing a big role in their lives. They loved each other more than they ever had. The last year had torn them apart and tested them more than they ever thought possible, but now they were looking forward together.  
'The future looks bright for us. I know it. This year is going to be so different.'  
'I have a feeling we have more resting times ahead.'  
'I'm sure we do Serena, but as long as we talk and are there for each other, nothing can break us. Our future is bright.'  
'Our future, together, that's all I want.'


	64. Chapter 64

64\. Bernie's Bombshell

A further month passed and the long winter nights shortened. Spring had begun to make an appearance. The days were longer, nights were shorter. 

Serena and Bernie remained as close as they had been during the winter. They'd slipped back into their old ways and AAU was running like the well oiled machine it had become before the accident. Serena, Bernie, Morven, Fletch and Raf were as close as they had ever been. Handing the reins to the three of them while they'd been concentrating on each other had shown how much faith Bernie and Serena had in them, to trust them to run the ward in their absence. 

Now their working relationships were as strong as they had ever been. No-one doubted any ones skills and abilities anymore. They all had they slot to make AAU the most efficient ward in the hospital. Bernie and Serena had each other's backs at all times. They mat seek each other out for a second opinion at times, but whilst they were in that ward at work; their soul priority was the patients. 

After work, they had begun to start going to Albies as a couple. Jason had allowed on his schedule for them to go Albies three evenings out of the week, so long as they left him some dinner. Serena smiled when she thought of her nephew, growing in independence, and trusting him in her house alone.

All this time, Elinor was still in rehab. She'd been clean for a while, but she knew she would relapse if she'd come home straight away so she'd volunteered to stay on. Serena was so proud of her little girl, fighting to get back to the person she once was.

Bernie had never been happier. Watching the woman she loved back to her old self was all she's wanted for months. They hadn't even had a serious fight for weeks. It was almost as if they were having their honeymoon phase, that they should have had at the start of the relationship. Bernie had had a thought niggling at the back of her brain for a while, but she'd continued to dismiss it until it was at the forefront of her mind.

One afternoon in mid march, she was nursing a coffee in Pulses. Serena was in a meeting with Hanssen so she's taken the opportunity to gather her thoughts about what had been plaguing her for weeks.  
'Bernie?' Raf interrupted her thoughts. Smiling up at him, she indicated the chair opposite  
'Hi Raf, we have to stop meeting like this.'  
'Whenever you need relationship guidance it seems, call me Cupid, remember?'  
'Haven't needed you for ages'  
'Yes, I'm well aware of how happy you and Ms Campbell are. Everything is going well then yes?'  
'Yes; it's almost perfect. It's just..'  
'Just what?'  
'I want us to make it official. Go to the next level.'  
'And what do you mean by that?'  
'Well, I had an idea. Can I run it by you?'  
'I'm all ears.'  
'I want us to get married as soon as possible. I know we've only been together a few months but when you know, you know. I want it to be a surprise for Serena. I was thinking of planning a wedding, and having it in October. The day after her birthday, maybe. What do you think?'  
'I think that is a brilliant idea. But one thing Bernie?'  
'What?'  
'Do you have any idea how to plan a wedding?'  
'I'm not a complete duffer when it comes to this. I just don't know if Serena would think it's too fast, or be hurt that i haven't included her.'  
'Bernie, this is Serena Campbell, the woman who loved the bones of you. I don't think she could possibly feel anything but love for you?'  
'Do you think so?'  
'I do yes. And you won't be on your own. Think of me; as your personal wedding assistant. I will help you with anything that you need.'  
'I was hoping to have someone to help me. You're as good as anyone. If anything, your the best choice. I can trust, you won't tell anyone?'  
'Can we not tell anyone?'  
'Yes, but nearer the time. For now, I want to make some proper plans.'  
'You're very focussed on this aren't you?'  
'I want the day to be perfect for Serena. We need to make it perfect.'

Bernie's bombshell had been taken straight in by Raf. It was official- the two of them planning the wedding. How would it go??


	65. Chapter 65

65: Secrecy

March rolled over with no problems. Bernie remained set on her idea to plan the perfect wedding for Serena without her knowledge, with Raf's help of course. Bernie realised very early on that it was no easy task- in fact it was a mammoth task, but she wanted to show Serena just how much she loved her. 

Raf remained her confidant, and ally. They were always seen bouncing ideas off each other. The first major thing was that Bernie wanted the reception at Albies. It was the heart of the Holby social life- her and Serena had shared many wonderful evenings there, both before and after they became a couple. She'd spoken to the owner and he had agreed to let them have the reception. Bernie had sworn him to secrecy over the wedding though, scared one of his staff might breathe a word to Serena without meaning to. 

March ended and April rolled around. Bernie might have been focussed on planning a wedding, but she never let it interfere with her personal or professional life. She didn't want anyone questioning her; especially Serena. So many plans to make for the wedding. 

The ceremony. That was rather different and difficult. She didn't know what Serena wanted, in terms of a church, registry office what. She wanted it to be perfect for Serena. Bernie wasn't very religious, so anything but a church. But if Serena was religious, then would she want it in a church? Raf decided to have a quiet word and see if he could get to the bottom of Serena's desires.

One afternoon in April, Bernie was in theatre, finishing off a rather difficult operation, Raf took the opportunity to grab some time with Serena. He had brought her a coffee from Pulses.  
'Serena, you look tired. I thought you might want this.'  
'Thank you Raf. You must have read my mind. Please, come in shut the door'  
Raf came in to the office, closing the door behind him. He sat down in Bernies chair opposite Serena. He watched her drain half her coffee straight from the cup.  
'Bernies got great taste.'  
'I'm sorry?'  
'The ring. I never really noticed how nice it was. She's got better taste than I ever did. When it came to shopping for Amy, I didn't have a clue what she would like.'  
'Bernie just gets me like no-one else. But I expect your tired of hearing about how much I love her.'  
'No, not at all. In fact, it's rare to see a couple so in love with each other as you two.'  
'Surely you and Amy were like that at some point?'  
'At the start we were, but then, soon after we got married, it became clear we wanted different things. Even the wedding, we wanted different things. I wanted a simple do, she insisted on the whole white wedding.'  
'Trust me; I've done the whole white wedding thing with Edward. Never again.'  
'So you don't want that with Bernie?'  
'I'm marrying Bernie because I love her. No other reason. I don't need the big white wedding to prove that. We could get married in a bin for all I care.'  
'Amy insisted we get married in a church. I don't know why. Neither of us are religious.'  
'To me churches are places for christenings and funerals. When me and Edward married in a church, it seemed fitting then, but me and Bernie, it doesn't fit.'  
'I can't see her in a church to be fair.'  
'I think she might want an outdoor wedding. I would prefer a simple ceremony in a registry office with just our families.'  
'An intimate affair?'  
'Exactly. People assume gay weddings are this big spectacle, and that's not what me or Bernie is about. We love each other. In my eyes, that's enough. I don't need to shout it from the rooftops or have a massive wedding to know that.'  
'I wish me and Amy had been like that.'  
'Raf, she obviously wasn't the girl for you. There's someone completely and utterly out there for everyone.'

Later that day, Raf fed his information back to Bernie; who was delighted she now knew what kind of ceremony to plan. She couldn't wait to call Serena her wife. But there was so much secrecy involved. Secrets can prove detrimental to a relationship as Bernie knew only to well? Was she walking a fine line and playing with Fire?


	66. Chapter 66

66: Turmoil

Bernie's head was well and truly focussed on organising the best wedding ever for Serena. However, while her intentions were motivated through her love for Serena, her love was beginning to suspect something may have been wrong.

As the days passed, Serena had begun to suspect that something was wrong with Bernie. She was always wrapped up in her own thoughts. She never came home with Serena anymore- always saying she had stuff to do in the office. Once when Serena had offered to stay, Bernie had got really defensive and accused Serena of not trusting her. The conversation they had months ago about Serena being unable to completely trust Bernie kept coming back to Serena. What if Bernie had met someone else? What if she didn't love her anymore? Those two words, never far away from Bernie and Serena, continued to plague Serena, who tried to bury them but they refused to be silenced.

While Serena was in turmoil, Bernie continued to push ahead with her plans. She and Raf had booked the ceremony for the 2nd October- the day after Serena's birthday. Bernie had failed to notice that her fiancé was struggling big time. Luckily there was someone who had.

After another week of Bernie coming home late, Serena didn't know what to do. She refused to be taken for a fool but if she was wrong, it could blow any future with Bernie, if she was questioning her for no reason. Serena was suffering in silence, worried that Bernie didn't love her anymore, or had met someone else. It was Fletch who had noticed Serena wasn't herself. She was always in the office on her own. She was withdrawing herself, back to the old Serena they'd had when Bernie was in Kiev. One afternoon, he walked straight into the office to find Serena crying quietly. Without a word, he walked over and pulled her into a hug. 

Serena was surprised at how Fletch understood she needed to be held. Even if it wasn't the person who she wanted to hug her. Pulling back after a moment, she wiped her eyes.  
'Thank you Fletch.'  
'You are more than welcome. You've helped me so much. My turn to return the favour. What's up?'  
'Oh, where do I start?'  
'Something's been bugging you for a while.'  
'It's Bernie.'  
'Bernie? Why, is everything okay with her?'  
'I don't know. She's always coming home late. I've offered to help her do whatever she's staying here for but she gets defensive and says I don't trust her. I don't think she loves me anymore.'  
'Serena, she loves you. That much is obvious.'  
'Is it? I don't see it anymore. I love her more than I can say, if she loves me, why is she finding every excuse under the sun to not be with me?'  
'I don't know. Shall I have a word?'  
'I don't want her to think I don't trust her. I've been going through turmoil this last week or so. I don't know what to do.'  
'I tell you what you do. You do your job. Leave Bernie to me.'

Fletch left Serena alone and went in search of Bernie. Serena was so emotional right now, worrying about whether Bernie still loved her? She was going through emotional turmoil, and he would not let his friend be on her own anymore. He vowed to find out what was going on, but would he like what he was going to hear?


	67. Chapter 67

67: Conflicted

Later that day, Serena was in theatre and he decided now the was golden opportunity to confront Bernie. First he had to find her. Her and Raf had a habit lately of disappearing together and then re appearing later. 

Following his instincts, he headed down to Pulses to find both of them at the table in the corner, hunched over a folder of some sort. Creeping up behind them, he caught some of their conversation.  
'I really want this to be perfect. I can't bear if Serena hates it. I'm doing this all for her.'  
'Bernie, you need to stop worrying really. I can't stress how perfect I think this is for her.'  
'What's perfect?' 

Bernie and Raf snapped around at the sound of Fletch's voice.  
'Fletch, how long have you been there?' Bernie questioned shutting the folder without looking at it.  
'Long enough to know you are both hiding something. Now what is it you want to be perfect.'  
'I suppose you may as well know. I'm planning a surprise wedding for Serena. Raf is helping me.'  
'A wedding?' 

In spite of everything, Fletch began to laugh. Serena had been worrying Bernie had fallen out of love with her, when in actual fact, it was the total opposite. Bernie was showing how much she loved her with this.  
'What's funny?'  
'It's not funny. I think we need to have a chat.'  
'A chat? About what?'  
'Serena'  
'Is she okay?'  
'Depends what you mean by okay.'  
'What's that supposed to mean?'  
'Exactly what I said. It depends what you mean by okay. Physically she is fine. Mentally, that's a different story.'  
'What are you talking about? She's fine, she would have told me otherwise.'  
'Bernie, she isn't fine. She's struggling, big time. I just walked in on her crying.'  
'Crying? Why didn't she tell me?'  
'Because it's you she's crying about?'  
'What?'  
'Bernie, she thinks you don't love her anymore.'  
'What? Why would she think that?'  
'She said you always stay late, and when she offers to stay you get defensive. Obviously, I know the reason why, it's because you were planning this.'  
'Yes, I want to give her the day of her dreams.'  
'Bernie, she thinks you might have met someone else. Her exact words to me were you're finding every excuse under the sun to not be with her?'

Bernie's heart was in her mouth. All the while she'd been planning this perfect day for the woman she loved, but she'd failed to see that the woman she loved had been suffering. Bernie cursed herself, for allowing herself to do that to her. Months ago she'd been begging Serena never to make her feel alone again and she'd done the exact same thing without even realising it. Talk about pot calling kettle black. 

'I never meant to make her feel like that. Why didn't she talk to me?'  
'Because she didn't want to upset you, if she was wrong about it. She loves you so much. She was conflicted about what to do. Now I'm involved as well. What do we do now?'  
'Well I need to talk to her, but I don't want to ruin the surprise for her. We've come too far to ruin it now.'  
'And Serena will love everything you've done so far Bernie, I have no doubt.'  
'Thanks Raf, you've been a great help. Someone to help share the burden with.'  
'Now we just need to ease Serena's burden without ruining the surprise.'  
'I love her so much. If she was conflicted she should have spoke to me. I wouldn't have been hurt.'  
'She's conflicted about your feelings Bernie. Maybe she just needs to be reminded that you love her.'  
'I love her more than anything Fletch. I never meant to make her feel like that. She's everything to me. She's the reason I get up in the morning, the reason for me changing, the person I am today.'  
'Maybe she needs to be the one hearing this, not us.'

Bernie quickly got up from the table, leaving Fletch and Raf to sort out the wedding folder. Bernie was so embarrassed and ashamed that she'd let Serena feel like that. To feel that conflicted, that alone, she knew that feeling all too well, and it wasn't a phase in her life she wanted to repeat. She could only hope she hadn't left it too late to make amends with the woman she lived, or everything had been in vain.


	68. Chapter 68

68: Your Love

Bernie had never walked so fast in her life. She only stopped when she got outside AAU. What was she going to say to Serena? She couldn't let the cat out of the bag about the wedding. She thought it best to get Serena to open up to her. Taking a deep breath and walking into the ward, she headed straight for the office.

Serena was sat in her chair just staring at her computer screen. Her computer was off so she was obviously immersed in her own thoughts.  
'Serena?'  
Bernie walked in, pretending everything was fine to see Serena actually staring at her engagement ring, which she'd taken off and put on the table.  
'Are you okay?'  
'No, Bernie, I'm not.'  
'Have you been crying?'  
'Do you care if I have?'  
'Serena, that goes without saying, of course I care, you know how I feel about you.'  
'Do I?'  
'Yes. You know how I feel.'  
'Stop kidding yourself, you don't feel it anymore. Why else would you have been avoiding me?'

Bernie walked over to Serena and span her chair around to face her. She sat down in the chair next to Serena's desk.  
'Serena, talk to me. Why on earth would you think I've been avoiding you?'  
'Because you have. You want me to talk. Fine I will. You always stay late now to do things here. I offer to stay and help, you get defensive and say I don't trust you. You seem to making every excuse ever known to man, playing every trick in the book to not want to spend time with me. Bernie, I've never felt so unwanted in my life, and it hurts.'  
Bernie leant forward and grabbed Serena's hands.  
'Serena. I'm so sorry, I never wanted you to feel like that. That feeling I never wanted to feel again. I've made you feel it. And I'm so so sorry.'  
'Straight up, have you met someone else?'  
'Serena, why would I even look at someone else? I'm completely and irrevocably in love with you.'  
'You are?'  
'Serena, I promise.'  
Bernie picked up the ring off the table and held it in front of Serena.  
'You see this, this isn't just a ring. This is a symbol of our love. Our union and more importantly, our family, our future.'  
'Really?'  
'Serena, your love had changed me. Your love has made me a better person. Your love has made me love myself again, when I never thought I could. I love you more than you will ever know, please, put this back on. Marry me?'

Serena was so relived by what Bernie said, she leant forward and wrapped both arms around her waist, pulling her in for a hug. They just sat there for a moment. Bernie burying her head in Serena's shoulder and Serena running her hand through Bernies tousled hair. After a few moments, Serena pulled back. Taking the ring off Bernie, she put it straight back on her finger  
'Is that a yes?'  
'Yes, but I have something I need to say. You asked me months ago, never to let you feel alone. Never let you feel that again. Now I'm asking you. The last few weeks have been hell for me. Your love was both a gift and a curse.'  
'A curse?'  
'Because it's so strong and so forceful, that sometimes it hurts uncontrollably.'  
'I'm sorry.'  
'I'm asking you, please don't ever let me feel that again. That alone, that scared.'  
'I'm sorry.'  
'Don't be, just don't make me feel it again. Your love is what keeps me going at the end of the day. But please, please, don't ever leave me. I can't cope without you.'


	69. Chapter 69

69: With or Without

Bernie was very careful now with her wedding plans. She'd never meant to cause Serena any of the hurt that she had. Serena said she couldn't cope without her, and Bernie couldn't cope without her. Words couldn't describe the horrible empty loneliness she's felt whilst in Kiev and to think that she'd unintentionally done that to the woman she loved, caused her unnecessary hurt, she was deeply ashamed and embarrassed.

Fletch and Raf were both in on the secret, so it helped that they could do their own bit towards the wedding and help keep up the pretence so that Serena never found our, until the actual day. Between them, they'd decided on the flowers, the food. Bernie was planning the ceremony herself. She wanted it to be special, to be intimate and personal for her and Serena. 

Thoughts turned to Jason. Traditionally, a man was supposed to walk the lady down the aisle. Bernie wondered whether she would want Jason or Elinor to walk her in. But would Elinor be well enough to come? It would have to  
go ahead with or without her. Bernie would have to tell Jason, but could he be trusted to keep the secret until the big day? Then again, he'd kept the secret about the text message from weeks ago, so maybe she was under estimating him.

Seizing the opportunity one afternoon when Serena was out visiting Elinor, Bernie cornered Jason in the staff room.  
'Jason, could I please have a few moments of your time? There's something I would like to run by you?'  
'Auntie Bernie, I have precisely 13 minutes left of my break.'  
'Thank you.'  
'Have I done something wrong?'  
'No, of course not.'  
'Is it you and Auntie Serena?'  
'Yes'  
'Are you breaking up?'  
'No.'  
'What is it then?'  
'Jason, if you let me talk, I will tell you. But before I do, you must promise that you mustn't tell your Auntie Serena.'  
'It depends.'  
'On what?'  
'Will whatever it is hurt her?'  
'No, completely the opposite. It will make her very happy. Well I hope it will.'  
'Okay, I promise not to tell her.'  
'Okay, I'm planning a surprise for your Auntie Serena. A rather big one. The day after her birthday we are going to get married.'

Bernie looked over at Jason, who was staring at her open mouthed, looking like he was trying to catch flies. Shellshocked obviously.  
'Jason?'  
'Are you trying to have a joke with me Auntie Bernie? You don't know how to plan a wedding.'  
'Jason, I'm a lot smarter than you think.'  
'You're smarter than Auntie Serena, that is true. And you have much nicer taste in things than she does. Why are you telling me about the wedding?'  
'Because I wanted to know, if you walk your Auntie Serena down the aisle.'  
'You want me?'  
'Why wouldn't I?'  
'Because I thought you would be perfect.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes.'  
'I can't wait for you two be legally married. Then we can all be a proper family.'  
'Jason, we are a family.'  
'I know but it's not proper.'  
'Jason, listen to me. Whether me and your Auntie Serena were married or not, we are always going to be a proper family. With or without being married does not mean in any which way that our feelings would change.'  
'With or without marriage?'  
'Yes Jason. People don't have to be married to be a proper family.'  
'Like AAU?'  
'Why would you say that?'  
'You are all a family; and none of you are married.'  
'Not quite what I meant, but that's an excellent example. With or without marriage does not mean that we aren't a family. We will always be, even when we get married. We will never change together. We are and always will be, a proper family.'


	70. Chapter 70

70: Five Years On

April was nearing its end. May was just around the corner. 1st May. That was a date that would always stick in her mind. This year was particularly special. Five years to the date since she'd joined the hospital. 

Truth was after five years in a job, most people are finding it boring and need a change, but Serena was loving her job more than she ever had before. She'd been through her fair share at the hospital- more than people normally go through in their life. Everything that had come her way from Edward, Elinor, Jason, Robbie, she had always faced it head on and never once crumpled.

Her mothers arrival had seen a different side to her. She had been forced to choose between being a surgeon and being a daughter, and it had almost broken her. But she'd come to terms with her mothers loss and had begun to move forward when one person swept into her life on a whirlwind. Bernie. 

Serena had thought she'd known what real love was, but everything she'd ever felt before was so mild compared to what she had with Bernie. If someone had told her when she'd started at Holby all. Is time ago that five years on, she'd be co-leading AAU with her fiancé army medic, she'd have laughed in their faces, because the suggestion was so ridiculous. So absurd, until it had actually happened. 

The last year had seen a different Serena from the one that everyone had become accustomed too. She's been broken by Bernie and built back up by her- so many different emotions and opposite ends of the spectrum as far as Bernie was concerned. Serena smiled when she thought of their first meeting in the car park, her commenting about Bernie being a mechanic. Even then, Serena had had an odd feeling that they were going to be great friends, but she had never dreamed of what would come out of that friendship.

Thinking back over her time in AAU, she was lucky enough to have found a real family- proper friends who she knew she could count on. Fletch, Raf, Morven, Arthur. They had all become like one close knit family during their time together and they had bonds that could never be severed.

Five years on, and Serena was excited as to what the next five years would hold. With Bernie by her side, and her whole 'family' behind her, she knew the world was her oyster. With a little love and a lot of support, anything was possible. Five years on, here's to the next five she thought.


	71. Chapter 71

71: Bernie's Birthday

Two weeks after Serena's anniversary, she had another day to celebrate. It's was Bernies birthday. Serena had racked her brains for what present to get her, then two days before, she thought of the perfect thing with a little bit of help from Cameron.

********************************

Hearing her alarm go off at 6:00, Bernie opened her eyes and groaned. So early, why did she have to do this to herself every day? Turning over, she put her hand out, expecting Serena to be there to take it.

Suddenly the duvet was pulled off her. She was now wide awake and alert. Jerking upright she saw Serena standing there laughing at her.  
'Come on, it might be your birthday, but we've got patients to save, waiting for you to work their magic.'  
'Oh yeah, it's my birthday isn't it? I actually totally forgot?'  
'Bernie, don't play that card with me either. Cameron said you always acted like you forgot your birthday'  
'Seriously babe I do, it's just another day, no reason to act any different than yesterday or the day before that.'  
'Excuse me Bernie Wolfe. It's your 52nd birthday.'  
'Don't remind me'  
'And it's your first birthday we've been together. You're stupid if you think I'm going to do anything but spoil you. Now, are you getting up out of that bed, or I do need to her the cold water?'  
'I'm up, I'm up. God you remind me of my mother at times.'  
'I wasn't joking about the cold water you know.'  
'I wasn't joking about my mother.'  
'Do you want me to punch you?'  
'Not a punch, but I wouldn't mind a kiss.'  
'Get up and come and get it then. It might be your birthday but I'm not going to wait on you.'

Bernie's mouth grinned mischievously as she swung her legs out of bed and walked over to Serena. Wrapping her arms around her waist; Bernie pulled Serena in and kissed her passionately. Serena responded immediately and they stayed like that for a while. 

After a few moments, Serena drew back.  
'Ms Wolfe, it's going to take more than that for me to allow you the day off you know.'  
'What? Even for my birthday?'  
'Don't try that trick with me. You said it was just another day and until we clock off we have to be professional. Patients are counting on us. We've got 2 hours before we have to be at work.'  
'You said we have 2 hours. That's plenty of time in my book.'  
'Not for Jason.'  
'He doesn't get up til 6:45 and you know it.'  
'Boy do I. I've been up since 5:30 just to make sure his plans for tonight are set in stone?'  
'Tonight? What's happening tonight?'  
'Wait and find out after work.'  
'Surprises again Serena Campbell, you know full well how much I hate them.'  
'Yes, but you love me don't you?'  
'You know I do.'  
'Then trust me.'  
'Okay. I'm going to get in the shower.'  
'Good plan.'  
'I thought so too. Come on then'  
'Come on what?'  
'You're coming too. No arguments. My birthday remember.'

********************************

At 8 o'clock Bernie and Serena walked into their office in AAU to find someone had been busy overnight. There was a card propped up next to Bernies computer and balloons tied to the chairs. Serena smiled. It has to be have been Cameron and Morven. They had both been on the night shift last night. Bernie might want to forget about her birthday but Serena and her family were determined to make it one she'd never forget.

********************************

That evening, Jason went back to Raf's for the night. Fletch had promised to let him and Mikey watch Doctor Who, which meant him staying up late but for once he didn't mind. 

At six o'clock Bernie and Serena arrived in the Italian just around the corner from the hospital. Serena's birthday present to Bernie was on her way, but how would Bernie react to it? Only time would tell.


	72. Chapter 72

72: Birthday Surprise 

At six o clock, Bernie and Serena arrived in the Italian just around the corner from the hospital. They'd been here for dinner plenty of times, including the day before Bernie had gone on her secondment. The place held such fond memories for the two of them that Serena had had to bring them here. 

Ordering from their 'extensive' wine list, Serena refused to break the habit of a lifetime and ordered a bottle of Shiraz.  
'Ordering by the bottle again I see?'  
'Hello, this is me, you're talking to.'  
'I know I can see you.'  
'I can see you too.'  
'Three bottle of Shiraz and you'll be seeing 3 of me.'  
'I don't care. 3 of you is better. More of you for me to love.'  
'Thank you.'  
'What for?'  
'Just for being you.'  
'Well who else would I be?'  
'Serena, I'm being serious.'  
'I know.'

Bernie reached across the table and took hold of Serena's hands.  
'I hate birthdays, I always have, but today had been the best I've had in years.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes, I've never been as happy as I am right at this second. Well apart from when you agreed to marry me.'  
'I've never been as happy either. We're closer now than we ever have been. Every day I fall in love with you just that little bit more.'  
'I can't help myself. It's more than that. I can't function without you. You're a part of me. I know it's creepy, but you complete me.'  
'And you complete me.'  
'I've had a hole in my heart for years, but since being with you, it's filled.'  
'Oh Bernie.'  
'I've been running my whole life. Running away from everyone and everything that challenged me. I guess I never felt comfortable, with myself. In my own skin. I guess I always thought I'd find myself in time. But I didn't.'

Serena waited to let Bernie finish. This was the most open they'd been since Valentine's and Serena wasn't about to let the moment be interrupted.  
'I thought, i would find myself as time went on. I got married, still couldn't find myself. Had my children, I still couldn't find me. And then, when I was least expecting it. I suddenly found it.'  
'Where?'  
'At the time in my life when I'd come to accept that all I was, all I ever could be was a screw up, a failure. A failure as a mother, as a wife. Then I came here. And who should I meet in the car park on my first day. But you.'  
'Me? What did I do? Other than fall in love with you?'  
'But don't you see that's just it. You fell in love with me, every bit of me. All the good and all the bad. You don't want me to change, but you help me too without even realising it. I meant what I said all those months ago. About you saving people when they don't want to be saved.'  
'Because I saved you.'  
'Yes, you saved me from becoming the horrible person I no longer wanted to be. I've changed Serena, and it's all because of you. When I never thought I would find myself, I did. I found myself through finding you.'

Serena squeezed Bernies hands. A tear ran down her cheek, and Bernie moved one of her hands to wipe it away. Emotional moments between the two of them meant just as much to the two of them as did their physical relationship. And a healthy relationship needed both to survive and grow. Which is exactly what there's had done. From the roots they'd nurtured and looked after each other, and it had blossomed into something beautiful. 

'So, what's my present?'  
'It's on its way.'  
'On it's way, sounds exciting.'  
'I hope you like it.'  
'I'm sure I will, because it came from you and you heart, so wouldn't I?'  
'Don't, you'll set me off again.'  
'Okay I'm sorry. I'll restrain myself from being emotional.'  
'No, don't. I love it. I'm just going to look like a raccoon.'  
'You could never look like that. I'd love til regardless anyway.'  
'I love you so much you know that right?'  
'Of course I do.'  
'So, what did Cameron get you for your birthday?'  
'He got me a card. I wasn't expecting much.'  
'It's the thought that counts though right?'  
'Yes, of course.'  
'And you're present has just arrived. Close your eyes and done turn around.'  
'Really?'  
'I'm serious. Trust me.'

Bernie obligingly shut her eyes. Serena beckoned and Bernies present moved over to behind her.  
'Okay, you can open them now.'  
Bernie opened her eyes, expecting to see something in front of her.  
'Hello Mum.'

Bernie's heart skipped a beat. It had been so long since she'd heard those words. Standing up and turning around, she saw the one person who she never expected to.  
'Charlotte.'  
'Hi Mum. Happy Birthday.'


	73. Chapter 73

73: Apology

Bernie just stood there for a moment taking in her daughter. She'd changed a lot in the months since she'd last spoke to her. She was a lot taller than she'd imagined and her lovely brown hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. It had grown a lot in the last few months.  
'Happy Birthday Mum.'  
'Charlotte, what..what are you doing here?'  
'I'm your birthday present from Serena. She spoke to me yesterday. Well her and Cam'  
'Cam is in on this as well?'  
'Yes.'  
'And you came. I thought you never wanted to see me again.'  
'Mum, I was angry. I was upset about you and Dad and I took it out on you. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said what I said about the two of you.'  
'Charlotte it's okay. My daughter wasn't thrilled about the two of us. And I nearly lost her because of it.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'What I said. I almost lost her. But not just a relationship with her. She was angry with me and we both said things we shouldn't have. She had an accident and she almost died.'  
'Is she okay now?'

Serena let out a sob and Bernie turned around. It was still raw and painful for Serena to talk about what happened. Elinor was still in rehab, getting better but still not well enough to come home. Bernie had sent her a letter about the wedding, hoping it would be okay with her, but Charlotte was yet to find out about her and Serena's engagement. Bernie had just got her back, she didn't want to start things off on a lie. 

Bernie watched as Serena sat silently with tears rolling down her cheeks. She walked round the table, behind her and wrapped her arms around the brunettes neck. Pulling her close to her, Bernie smiled as she felt Serena relax against her. Charlotte stood watching this. Her mum and Serena obviously had a far closer relationship than she'd even thought possible. Strange, her Mum seemed the most content she'd ever seen her.

'About the two of you. I'm sorry about everything. I shouldn't have stood in the way of you. If you fall in love, you can't help it. Mum, please, im so sorry. Forgive me.'  
'Hey, hey Charlie, it's okay. Im not mad. You came here on my birthday. That means so much to me.'  
'It meant a lot when Cameron phoned saying Serena wanted me to be your present. Oh, by the way, I hear congratulations are in order.'  
'Congratulations?'  
'Your engagement.'  
'Who told you?'  
'Cameron.'  
'Is it okay with you? Charlie, I really want your approval.'  
'Mum, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't happy for you. It's fine, if it's what you really want and she makes you happy, I'm okay. Really.'  
'Truly?'  
'Mum, I meant what I said. I'm sorry.'  
'You don't need to keep apologising'  
'But I do.'

Bernie unhooked her arms from Serena's neck. She walked over to Charlotte who had tears in her eyes. It seemed she really was sorry for what happened. Extending her arms, Bernie waited for Charlotte to say no or withdraw. Surprisingly she threw her arms around her Mum. The two of them stood there hugging for the first time in months, onlooker by Serena who was finally glad mother and daughter had finally managed to settle their differences. 

*****************************

Later that night, as they lay in bed, Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena.  
'Thank you for today. It's been amazing.'  
'So you liked your present?'  
'It's hands down the best. You're full of surprises.'  
'No, im full of love for you. I know how much now having her in her life has affected you. You won't talk about it.'  
'Because I never thought that Can of worms would need opening.'  
'Well now, we can put a lid on it; and look forward to the future together.'  
'Yes we can.'

As Serena snuggled down to sleep, Bernie smiled behind her. If only Serena knew what the next few months would mean for them. How much their future would mean. The wedding. After what Serena had done today, Bernie resolved to make it the best day. 

But despite all the plans, can you plan everything, including an uninvited guest, and secrets being revealed?? Only time would tell if they could.


	74. Chapter 74

74: Together

As the seasons changed, so did Bernie and Serena's moods. As Summer made an appearance and the weak may sunshine became a distant memory, the two of them became even closer than they already had.

Their routines changed as the days got longer and nights got shorter. Unfortunately, they had to work longer hours but they didn't mind too much because they were together. They did everything together. However, from time to time, they did things independently, almost free of each other. They needed time apart from each other in small doses, just to keep themselves looked after. 

Serena would often travel down to see Elinor, sometimes with Bernie, sometimes without. Elinor was just as accepting with or without Bernie there. Bernie had written a letter to Elinor informing her of her plans for the wedding. Bernie had been worried that Elinor wouldn't be able to handle it, or would think the idea stupid. Elinor had sent Bernie a text message with a heartfelt thank you for being there for her Mum through everything. This only reaffirmed in Bernies mind that she was doing the right thing. 

As the days became longer, Bernie and Serena had a 'date night' once a week. To give themselves time to be together without the stresses of home life and AAU. Jason had worked the date night into his schedule so that his routing wasn't disrupted. On those nights, Jason went over to a friends to watch Doctor Who. The 'date night' varied each week. Could be dinner, a movie, one week Bernie even took Serena ice-skating. That had been a sight, watching Serena falling all over the ice, unable to get her balance. But Bernie had been there to catch her before she fell, just as she had been through everything else. 

Serena and Bernie had never been as happy or as close as they were during those first few weeks of the summer. How things had progressed in a year. The trauma unit had been running for almost a year. Looking back, it was hard to believe all they had achieved together. Bernie recalled the day it had been set up. 19 July. She remembered Hanssen standing in the bay telling everyone how great it was going to be. And all she'd done was stand staring at Serena. It had been obvious then that she'd fallen for her. Why hadn't she realised it then? Or had she and just turned a blind eye to it?

The trauma unit was running as smoothly as it could be on that day, but Bernie had had to run out and desert Serena. Serena had stepped up to the plate but everything became too much when personal and professionalism had clashed. Bernie had come back to the rescue, and been there to help sort everything.

When they looked back at everything that had happened during that summer- the trauma bay, Cameron being admitted, Bernie running out at the end of August. It hadn't been what either of them had envisaged. The fact they'd come through it together, stronger and closer than ever, just showed how much they loved each other.

One evening, Bernie and Serena sat on the sofa watching tele. Bernie was sitting with her feet curled underneath her. Serena was lying with her head in Bernies lap. Bernie had her arm around Serena and they just sat there comfortably watching the documentary on the tele. It was moments like this that they both treasured- simple domestic bliss, with no patients, no kids, and especially no drama.  
'I love nights like these with you. Just me and you.'  
'I know, I love them too.'  
'This is seventh heaven for me. Who knew I'd get such joy from sitting watching television on a Wednesday night?'

Serena moved her head off Bernies lap and edged closer to her, grabbing her hands in the process.  
'And you know what? That shows me how much you've changed. After everything that happened last year, this time of year, I never thought you would change.'  
'Serena, it was you who changed me, no-one else.'  
'I've changed as well. You showed me it's okay not to be strong all the time, that I can let people in. Asking for help is not a weakness.'  
'And you've shown me how strong I can be. That on my own, I can be strong for someone else which was something I never thought I could do. You make me a better person Serena.'  
'And you make me a better person as well Bernie.'  
'We've changed together, and we will continue to change together.'  
'I love you.'  
'And I love you as well.'

Bernie put her arm around Serena and pulled her close for a hug. Kissing the top of Serena's head, she smiled into her hair. She loved being this happy in herself. She couldn't wait for the next chapter on their life. The wedding she was trying so desperately hard to make perfect. 

Half an hour later the documentary finished, but neither Serena or Bernie moved from the sofa. Bernie still had her arm around Serena, and Serena had her arms around Bernie's waist; but they'd both fallen asleep. Together, just like everything else.


	75. Chapter 75

75: Unbreakable Bonds

As July wore on, Bernies plan for the wedding required outside help. One major thing she was struggling with was what Serena would wear. She knew she'd done the whole white wedding thing before, but she didn't think they'd want to wear dresses again? Or would they? She really had no idea. She realised she needed to enlist the help of someone else. 

Elinor came up from rehab for a weekend visit, to see how she would adjust to life st home. Serena was so happy to have her home but unfortunately her time with Ellie was cut short when she had to go into the hospital to sort Jason out. His mouth had been running away with him again and he'd told a patient they were stupid for stabbing themselves in the hand. Bernie smiled as Serena left to go to the ward.

A few months ago, Elinor would have killed her mum if she'd left her alone with Bernie. Now it was just what she needed. A chance to probe her about the wedding.  
'Bernie?'  
'Yes, Ellie?'  
'What's the score with the wedding?'  
'What do you mean?'  
'What's happening? I don't know anything?'  
'Well its booked for October 2nd. The day after your mums birthday. It's in a registry office, and the reception is at the pub where we all go after work. Something simple, just like your mum wanted.'  
'Sounds perfect.'  
'It will be, but there's one thing I desperately struggling with.'  
'And what might that be?'  
'What your mum wants to wear. I mean, I love her and everything but fashion is really not my strong point.'  
'I wouldn't say you're that bad. You're just not a girly type of woman. You're style is casual and easy, and right for you. But as for Mum, you leave that to me. Let this be my present to the wedding, my contribution if you like.'  
'Ellie, are you sure?'  
'Yes, Manchester is not Outer Mongolia you know.'

Bernie smiled to herself as she realised what a long way her and Elinor had come in such a few months. As their respect for each other became stronger, so did the bond between them.

*********************************

Serena arrived on AAU to collect Jason. He was sitting on the floor of her office behind the corner. He was hugging his knees together and rocking himself backwards and forwards. 

'Jason?'  
'Auntie Serena. I'm sorry.'  
'Jason, it's not me you need to be apologising too. It's Mrs Johal.'  
'I don't like her.'  
'You might not but you are here to do your job. You won't like everyone.'  
'But she's stupid.'  
'Jason!'  
'She is. What she says is stupid.'  
'What did she say?'  
'She told Fletch that being gay is stupid. She's been shouting about all sorts since she arrived. But I won't have her upsetting you and Auntie Bernie. Not now.'  
'Why? What's happening now?'  
'You know; you two. Being happy. We're all a family. I don't want someone who is stupid to ruin it.'

Serena wrapped her arms around her nephew and pulled him in for a hug. God how much he meant to her, he would never know. He'd been defending her honour, that's why he'd called a patient stupid.

Glancing up, she watched as Cameron walk past. Raising her hand in a passing greeting, he smiled at her and waved. Serena smiled in acknowledgement. 

*********************************

Serena. Bernie. Jason. Cameron. Charlotte. Elinor. Each one of them held a bond with each other. They were a family. Bonded by blood or marriage; whatever the case, they would always be family. They all knew they had found something special. The bonds between them were unbreakable to the outside world, so provided them with the perfect thing to the outside world.

However while unbreakable bonds are unbreakable, did it mean they were also inpenetrable. And with the wedding fast approaching, would the unbreakable bonds be enough to keep the family together? Or were they destined to be a mismatch and tear apart very easily.


	76. Chapter 76

76: Journey

Bernie was beginning to feel the strain of the final wedding preparations. Yes, there was still 2 months to go, but she wanted to leave nothing to chance. 

Everything that had tested her and Serena, had torn them apart fro each other but bought them back from the brink and closer to each other than they ever had. All that they had gone through together- Kiev, the accident, Elinors addiction, their families wanting to keep them apart. Bernie knew they had faced more in the last year than most couples faced in their lifetime, but it showed credit to their characters. That they trusted each other enough to open up to each other in times of need. 

There had been dark days when she and Serena had had their fights and she'd wondered if any of it was worth it. The fighting, the harsh words, the bitterness, Bernie had spent many nights wondering if she'd made a mistake in coming back from Kiev, but she'd known it was a chance at happiness that she just couldn't pass up. In those times, of dark though, she could have found happiness. If only she'd remembered to switch on he light.

She's faced the choice between what was easy and what was right. The easy choice would have been to stay away, say or do nothing. But she had known it wasn't right for her heart. She's had to come back, and that had been her turning point. 

Her journey.

While there had been dark times where Serena was concerned, there had been so many more good times. And all the good times outweighed the bad ones. The festive period had been one that Bernie knew she would never forget. Their closeness and their ability to get perfect presents that summed up their love and affection for each other. They'd been so close then, but torn apart just after the new year by he accident. Nearly losing Jason and Elinor had hammered home to both of them how precious life was, and they'd been determined not to waste a single moment of it.

Valentines Day had been another amazing day. Serena showing her with so much love and attention. Her birthday, when Serena had bought the one person back into her life who she needed. Her daughter. Serena's ability to know just what to say and do at he right time was a gift sent from heaven above. Bernie never stopped counting her lucky stars because she had chosen her to love, her to share her life with.

The two of them had been on such a journey in the last year, and Bernie was filled with trepidation as to what the next few would hold. One journey was coming to an end, but another was nuts starting, and Bernie smiled as she thought of what might be about to come her way. What a journey it would be, with the love of her life by her side.


	77. Chapter 77

77: Family that Plays Together

Bernie was making significant headway with the wedding plans. And as August wore on, she found herself unable to contain her excitement. She was so excited to show Serena what she'd been doing for the past six months- her love for her being at the forefront of her mind. Bernie could have pinched herself the amount of times she'd almost crumbled under the pressure, but this was one thing she knew she could control and make perfect for Serena. She wanted to give her the best day, surrounded by all her friends and family. 

Family. Bernie's family was a lot closer than they had been in previous years. Bernie was as close with Cameron as she had ever been, and she was bonding again with Charlotte. And as for Jason, well she loved him as much as her own children. She used to be able to count on one hand the family she had. But now it was extended. Jason, Serena, Elinor, Morven, Fletch, Raf. They were all part of Bernie in some way shape or form, so they meant a lot to her. She thought of them all as family- even though some weren't related.

The last weekend in August, Bernie took a break from her wedding plans to organise a family outing. She'd wanted to go bowling with everyone, because it would give them chance to catch up and bond, without having to find lots to say. When she'd approached Serena with the idea, she'd been less than enthusiastic, only to discover that it was because Serena had never been bowling before. That had been a complete and utter shock. 

That Saturday afternoon, all of them went bowling, except Elinor who was still in rehab. She was almost ready to be discharged, but had confided to Bernie that she wanted to come home for the wedding. Serena, Bernie, Jason, Cameron and Charlotte. Bernie felt slightly apprehensive as this whole get-together was her idea, and they'd never been together for the whole afternoon before. 

The bowling got off to a good start. Jason decided he would go first, so he could plan the whole schedule accordingly. He turned out to be a pretty good bowler, knocking down seven altogether on his first go. Bernie had excellent aim and balance, from her years in the military so when she came up to bowl second, she scored a strike easily. Cameron proved he could hold his own as well, and managed a respectable score of 6. Charlotte was quite shy and reserved, saying very little, but she came into her own with the bowling. She had obviously inherited her mums aim, because she managed to knock them all down in her first two shots. 

Now it was Serena's turn. She had chosen to go last, hoping to pick up a few pointers. She wanted to try and go and bowl as fast as she could, hoping to look a lot better than she was. Releasing the ball down the lane, she was overcome with confusion and bewilderment as she didn't see it travelling in front of her. On an impulse she turned around, and saw the ball rolling backwards towards her spectators. 

Bernie burst into uproarious laughter at the genuine puzzlement on her face. Cameron and Charlotte; stripped of their obligation to be polite and courteous, quickly succumbed to their own laughter, falling into each other.  
'How on earth did you manage to do that?'  
'I have no idea Hun, but for the love of god please don't let me do it again.'  
'Auntie Serena, you are aware the ball has to travel towards the pins that way aren't you? Not this way?'  
'Yes, thank you Jason. I am aware of that'  
'Are you sure because you don't seem to know what your doing. Like a lot of things, you think you know what you are doing, but you really don't.'

Seeing Bernie laugh even harder at Jason's comments, Serena began to frown but found herself unable to. It was one of the first times she'd seen Bernie laugh so openly and spontaneously, and she was so drawn to her in that moment, that her laughter became infectious. Catching Bernies hand, she began to laugh as well. Bernie smiled at her so warmly as they initiated physical contact between themselves, and in that moment, they were so happy and so wrapped up in their own world; their lips met- they had forgotten where they were and who they were with.

Hearing wolf whistles behind her, Bernie smiled as she broke contact with Serena.  
'Serena, are you sure you didn't do that on purpose?'  
'I have no idea what you mean Cameron.'  
'You just wanted to kiss Mum and knew she'd do that if you acted like you couldn't play.'  
'Cameron, that would rather imply my Auntie Serena would have to have a brain, and although I know she has a very little one in her head somewhere she never uses it; so that suggestion is completely ridiculous.'  
'Well thank you for the vote of confidence Jason.'  
'You're welcome Cameron.'  
'Mum, can I just say how glad I am we're doing this? It's been ages since we've done anything as a proper family?' Charlotte interjected and Bernie smiled at her daughter so fondly. Her words cut right to her heart- and it meant so much to her that they were all able to hear together.

At the end of the second game, Bernie knew she'd made the right call in getting everyone here today. It had broken the ice a bit between Jason and Charlotte. And also she and Serena had been so open about their relationship, and none of the kids had commented. They'd acted like a normal family, a normal day out, having fun. Bernie knew this day would stay with her for the rest of her life. Such an ordinary day meant so much for extra-ordinary reasons.

Later that evening, as Bernie lay in bed, she reflected on what had been such a great day, when the two arms wrapped themselves around her waist and pulled her close.  
'Thank you for today Bern. It's so good to just be out like a normal family.'  
'You're very welcome. I just thought that we should get Jason to meet Charlotte, and do some bonding. And we all certainly bonded- over your lack of prowess in a bowling alley.'  
Bernie rolled over to face Serena, who was laughing quietly. The moonlight came through the window, and illuminated Serena's face. Bernie took in that moment how breathtaking the woman she loved looked. She was counting down the days in her head til she could call her- her wife. 

Catching Serena's hand, Bernie squeezed it softly. Serena smiled and squeezed it back. The two of them had a habit of being able to convey their thoughts through the simple squeezing of a hand.  
'So, what made you choose bowling?'  
'Oh, you know.'  
'What?'  
'A family that plays together, stays together.'

Serena smiled at Bernie's comment and bought her hands up to her mouth; before loosening her grip and moving closer to her.  
'You're certainly right. People that play will always stay.'  
Bernie cottoned on to what Serena was getting at and grinned back mischeviously.


	78. Chapter 78

78: Next Chapter

The summer season ended and September began. Serena was getting excited for the next few weeks to pass, because her birthday was approaching. She was a big kid and she loved her birthdays. Last year had been overshadowed by Bernies absence in Kiev. This year there was nothing stopping her from properly enjoying herself with everyone she loved surrounded by her.

As September wore on, she noticed a change in Bernie. Just slight changes at first, like the slight changes on the colours of the leaves on the trees. They were telltale signs that autumn was well and truly on its way. The tell tale signs that showed Serena something was bothering Bernie, was the fact that one minute she seemed up and the next down. 

Serena rather expected that Bernie was planning something, or she rather hoped, Bernie had planned something special for her birthday, but didn't want to pry. Bernie knew she could talk to Serena at any time and Serena knew that if Bernie wanted to tell her, she would. 

As the day of reckoning drew ever closer, Bernie couldn't help feeling nervous. The last few months of planning had only been leading up to the pivotal day. October 2nd. It would either make them or break them. Bernie didn't think it would break them, but she had no idea how Serena would react to the fact she'd been secretly planning the wedding for 6 months.

The one aspect of the wedding she had entrusted to someone else- Serena's outfit. Elinor had promised her that her mum would love it, and Bernie would have trusted her, because she knew her mother as well as she did. She herself has taken ages to decide what she had wanted to wear. She wasn't normally fussy, but she wanted to co-ordinate with Serena. After some words of advice from Elinor, she'd lined up her outfit and after Elinor had told her it complimented her figure and matched with her mum, Bernie had known she was in to a winner. All that was left to do was to wait.

Waiting had never been Bernies strong point- anyone would have told them that. She was so tired of waiting for Serena to be her wife. Waiting for the day to arrive so all the secrecy could be out in the open. 

The question remained- what would Serena think of everything? This would prove how much Bernie knew Serena or whether she'd misjudged everything. What if Serena hated it? What if she was angry about the secret? What if? What if? Those two words, together refused to leave Bernie. They had a habit of haunting her brain at night when she was lying in the dark of her room, and not even Serena could bring comfort to her, for all the worries circulating in her head.

The next chapter was about to begin- the question was- would it happily ever after? Or tragedy that tore them apart, further than ever before?


	79. Chapter 79

79: Day has Dawned.

The day was finally here. All of the months of planning had been leading up to this day. Bernie had entrusted Raf, Fletch and Elinor to help her but everything had been run by her. She'd done all of this in the name of love for Serena, and Serena didn't even know yet. 

The waiting had been the hardest thing for Bernie. All the waiting, all the uncertainty, all the secrecy. Bernie had been both longing and dreading for this day. She was longing for the day Serena would find out everything she'd been planning, but dreading it, because Bernie had kept her in the dark about everything and not planned it with her. Bernie hadn't known if Serena would have wanted to plan anything. 

Yesterday had been Serena's birthday. Bernie had wanted to make it special, but not majorly special because she wanted Serena completely clueless as to what was coming today. They'd gone to work as normal, and just gone for a meal out afterwards. Her, Jason, Serena and Elinor. Bernie's present had been Elinor arriving back for her birthday- or at least that was what she'd told Serena. She had no idea there was still so much more to come. 

The four of them had been as close as they ever were, but Serena noticed Bernie had been rather quiet around the table. Once again, she got the sneaking suspicion, she was being kept on the dark about something, but she knew Bernie would talk to her about anything, so once again, just like before, she put it to the back of her mind.

7am. Bernie was in Cameron's flat. She'd left a note for Serena to find that morning, saying she'd popped out for a bit. It was the first of many surprises. Bernie had arranged for Elinor to go to her mums on the pretence of going shopping. Then they'd get to the registry office and Bernie would spring the surprise of a lifetime on her.

Would Serena love it?

But unbeknownst to Bernie, things weren't going to be plain sailing for her either. For there were a couple of people who had issues with the fact Serena and Bernie were getting married, and these people were going to do everything in their power to stop it. 

Would they? Read on to find out.


	80. Chapter 80

80: Morning Mood

Serena opened her eyes. Glancing at the clock on her bedside cabinet, she groaned. 6:30am. Why did she always wake up so early on her day off? The best thing was Bernie was off as well today. She'd been surprised when Hanssen had given them the rota, and they'd both had today off. She hadn't asked for it off but she wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to spend some quality time with Bernie.

She rolled over onto her back and glanced to her left, fully expecting to see Bernie, but there was no-one there. Maybe she was in the bathroom? Serena's eyes fell on a piece of paper on Bernies pillow. She reached up with her hand and picked it up. It was folded in half and had her name on it. 

Sitting up in bed, she shivered. Despite it being only the second day in October, winter was defineltey on the way. The weather outside seemed to be promising a sunny day. Bernie had obviously been awake at some point that morning, because the curtains were pulled back whereas they'd been drawn when they both went to bed the previous evening. Whilst the sky was still dark, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and Serena could see the first hint of sunrise. She loved to watch the sunrise, her and Bernie had often done it in the summer.

Lost in her memories, it was a moment before Serena remembered the note perched on her lap. Opening it, she began to read.  
'Serena,  
I've popped out to see Cameron. He rang me this morning saying he broke his boiler. You know what he's like. Didn't want to disturb you. Will be back later on at some point.  
Love you,  
Bernie'

Serena felt a little disappointed at the contents of Bernies note. While she lived her dedication to her children, this was their first day off together in forever. Jason had even stayed the night with Fletch after the meal last night, so they could spend the day together and Bernie had snuck off before dawn to go and help her son. Serena wasn't angry, just disappointed that Bernie hadn't thought she might want to come as well.

*********************************

Unbeknownst to Serena, the other side of Holby, Bernie was sat at Cameron's kitchen table, putting the final touches to her vows. She'd wanted them to be as personal as possible so has taken the opportunity to write her own. When Serena was informed of the wedding, Bernie had given a note to Elinor to be passed on to Serena- but only when she knew the full story.

She was full of nerves and anticipation as the time dragged by so slowly. Could 3 o'clock roll around already so she could be by the woman she loved, making their vows, and pledging their love to each other?

*********************************

Bernie still wasn't home by 8:30. Serena had tried to call her but her phone was switched off. Bernie always turned it off when she was with Cameron, so she hadn't expected to get a reply. 

Elinor had called at 8, asking her Mum if she wanted to go shopping later that morning. Serena had been planning on spending the day with Bernie, but if Bernie was spending the day with her children, then she thought why shouldn't she do the same? And Elinor had only just got back from rehab. It would give them chance to have a proper girly day out, maybe have a few drinks and lunch out somewhere. Serena was actually looking forward to it. 

*********************************  
The taxi drew up outside the hospital. She knew she shouldn't be here, but she knew if she didn't do it today, she might lose the chance forever. And that was a chance she couldn't pass up. Last time she'd said goodbye it had almost broken her, but now she had to see if there was anything left to say or any chance of reconciliation. 

She should have stayed when Bernie had laid her heart on the line, but she couldn't have put herself through it again. But when she'd heard on the grapevine about the wedding, she couldn't believe it. Bernie's son had contacted one of her friends from the army, asking her to come to the wedding a surprise gift and she'd found out from her. She didn't want to believe that Bernie had moved on as quick as she had, in the space of a year and a half, when all that time away has solidified her feelings and love for her.

Taking a deep breath, Alex got out the taxi and went into the hospital, to see if she could get to the bottom of what the day had planned.


	81. Chapter 81

81: Emotional Moments

10:30am. Only four and half hours to go. Bernie's nerves were beginning to build up. For Serena would know the truth by 1 o clock. Elinor was on her way to her now. Bernie had planned this whole day with military precision. She wanted today to be perfect- and nothing could be going wrong at all. She couldn't handle it.

The flowers had been delivered on time- at precisely 10am. Flowers weren't exactly Bernie. She wasn't exactly the flowers and frills type of girl, as everyone knew too well, but she knew Serena would love flowers. She'd had to make them co-ordinated with the rest of the colour scheme. Red roses, with black ribbon around them, and black roses with white ribbon for bridesmaids Elinor and Charlotte. Along with red and white bunches for the registry office. Bernie had actually quite enjoyed making sure everything tied together. The colour scheme she'd wanted to be tasteful, so she'd chosen red, white and black. Planning this wedding, had brought out the creative and girly side of Bernie that she didn't know existed. 

Colour schemes, flowers, making sure the tablecloths and napkins matched. It had brought out a side to her that she never knew she had. When she thought back to how much she'd changed in the last 18 months since meeting Serena, her heart filled with love. Serena had taught her to love and trust again, when she'd lost everything. Serena had saved her from herself. 

All she'd done was give her heart to Serena and Serena had given hers back. She loved that her chest thumped with love for Serena, she ached for Serena whenever they were apart. Even now, when she was running such a tight ship on the biggest day of her life, Bernie was missing her so much. In fact, the whole day was going to be such an emotional rollercoaster for Bernie, she just didn't know how much it would be. 

Glancing at her watch, 10:38. Each minute that dragged by felt like eternity. Elinor had just texted her to say she was five minutes away. Time to kick the plans up a notch. She couldn't wait to see Serena at the registry office. Only a handful of people were coming, and only a handful people had even been informed about the wedding. She pulled out the guest list from her coat pocket and made sure, for the thirtieth millionth time that day that she hadn't forgotten anyone.

Jason, Elinor, Cameron, Charlotte, Fletch, Raf, Morven, Dom, Isaac (Doms plus one), Ric and Hanssen. She'd only told Hanssen because she'd had to wangle getting them both the day off and she'd had to give a reason why. 11 guests, plus her and Serena, would make it 13. 

Unlucky for some.

But Bernie knew she had all the luck in the world, because today, she was marrying the love of her life and nothing would stand in their way ever again. 

How wrong she was about having all the luck in the world, as she was about to have a showdown with e last person she expected to see and hear from. For now though, she was blissfully unaware of all the drama and angst that was about to come out, not to mention the fallout.


	82. Chapter 82

82: Surprise

Elinor drew up outside her mums house at 10:45 exactly, just as Bernie had asked. Bernie had planned the start of many surprises- starting at the salon where Serena had her hair done. Bernie hadn't known how Serena would want to wear her hair, but she'd given Elinor the money, on the pretence that she was going to treat her Mum to a belated birthday haircut. Elinor was going to get her hair done as well. And Edward was on board as well. If Serena asked where the money had come from, she would say her dad had given it to her to treat her mum, and she'd got him and Liberty to back her up if needs be. Bernie really had covered every base.

She for one, couldn't wait for the surprise of her Mum's life. Any shadows of doubt, Elinor had once had about Bernie being in her Mums life had well and truly been laid to rest. Her Mum and Dad had just brought out the worst in each other when they were together, but Bernie, she was so different. She loved her Mum unconditionally; Elinor was sure of that after all the planning and care she'd taken in this today. 

Nothing was going to go wrong for today, she was sure of that. Her part of today was going to go without a hitch. She was going to make sure her Mum had the perfect day. After everything she'd put her though in the last year, she owed it to her Mum to make sure nothing went off without a hitch.

********************************

Across town, Bernie had arrived at Albies, to check everything was set for the reception later. She was going straight from here to get ready and pick Jason up en-route. Butterflies were flying around in Bernies stomach, refusing to settle. She was pleased to discover that Cameron and Charlotte had done a good job that morning organising everyone. 

The pub was ready. All the tables had been covered with white table cloths. The chairs had been draped in white covers and each alternate chair had a black ribbon round the back and then a red one, and so on. The centre pieces for the tables were very simple- just a red and black flower in a bowl of clear crystals. The crystals against the rich red and the ebony black flower head drew your eyes straight to them, which is what Bernie has been aiming for. Simple and understated, but eye catching at the same time.

'Wow; you two have certainly been busy.'  
'You know what Mum, if you ever fancy a career change, you could always leave the medicine to Serena and me, and be a wedding planner.'  
'That's an idea Mum. I can see it now. Wolfe's Weddings.' Charlotte caught her brothers eye and they burst out laughing. They loved taking the Mickey when it came to their mum.  
'Oh stop it you two.'  
'Seriously Mum, I can't wait for Serena to see this. This was all you.'

Bernie wrapped one arm around each of her children's shoulders and pulled them close to her for a hug. Cameron pulled his sister closer to him and the three of them stood there for a moment, blissfully unaware of who was at this moment, entering the pub having seen Bernies car in the car park on her way out from the hospital.  
'I don't say it often enough, but I love the two of you so much. You make me proud every day. Thank you for being here today. It means so much.'  
'Mum, you're going to make me cry and I'm not going to have time to do my make-up again.'  
'Charlotte, you look lovely as you are.'  
'Thank you but I want to look my absolute best for your big day. But Mum, I love you too.'  
'As do I.' Cameron interjected. Bernie smiled at her children. In this moment Bernie was the happiest she'd ever been. Just over 4 hours away from the day that she'd always remember.

'I love you too.'  
Bernie froze herself to the spot, as she heard that voice for the first time in over a year. She turned around and saw the very person standing there. Alex. After all this time, why had she come back now?

Sensing that they'd need some support, Cameron got out his phone and called Elinor straight away to bring Serena over. The plan went out of the window when Alex turned up. And Cameron knew Serena had to be here for when his Mum said her peace.

'What are you doing here?' Bernies voice was full of questioning.  
'Surprised to see me?' Alex replied as the two of them stood staring at each other without saying another word.


	83. Chapter 83

83: Secrets and Showdowns

Bernie walked straight out of the pub, past Alex without saying a word to her. Of everything she'd expected today, this was the last thing. Everything was perfect for Serena, all the planning she'd done, all the secrecy had been building up to this day, and now this.

Alex rushed after Bernie, who was hurrying across the car park at an incredible speed. She'd been on her way out of the hospital, after having no luck, finding Bernie. She had no idea when she was doing here anyway. When she'd heard about the wedding, she had to see her. Rejecting Bernie had been the worst thing she had ever done. She'd always thought Bernie would re-appear in her life at some point, but after hearing about the wedding, she realised things had changed so much. Including Bernie.

'Bernie, stop!' Alex shouted at her, just as Bernie reached her car. Bernie stopped, and turned around to face Alex.  
'Alex, what are you doing here?'  
'I had to come and see you. I had to see you, I just had to Bernie.'  
'Why today? Why now?'  
'Exactly today. And why not now?'  
'Can you stop being cryptic Alex. In there you said you loved me, how can you? You haven't seen me for over a year.'  
Alex stepped forward and grabbed Bernies hands. Whenever she used to do that, Bernie felt butterflies in her stomach, but not she felt nothing.  
'I do love you Bernie. I never stopped. Last time you saw me, I left because I couldn't put myself through it again. But I have everyday since I left. Hurting myself for not taking the chance.'  
'Alex....'

Before Bernie could reply, she felt a presence behind her. Moving her hand she turned around and saw Serena stood there with tears in her eyes.  
'After all this time, and everything we've been through, you do this to me'  
'Serena, I, it's not what it looks like.'  
'Isn't it? You're holding hands outside the pub where we come with our work colleagues Bernie. Our work colleagues. Could you not have at least done it somewhere where no-one would know? Oh my god, I'm such a idiot.'  
'Mum, calm down, Cameron called me because he said you needed to be here. Then he text me saying Bernie would need he support. So, that doesn't fit with the idea of them having an affair.'  
'Ellie, look at them. Bernie, let me ask you a question? Did you ever really love me at all? Cause when I said to you I loved you. I meant it. I love you so much it hurts. And right now it hurts so much.'  
'Serena, I didn't know she was coming. Today was not supposed to be like this. Alex just turned up.'

Bernie moved away from Alex and round to the other side of the car to where Serena and Elinor were stood.  
'Alex, please, you need to go.'  
'No, I know you still feel something for me.'  
'I don't. I feel nothing for you now. I haven't in over a year. Whatever we had, it's dead and buried. You need to move on.'  
'Bernie, I came all this way.'  
'I know but what did you think would happen? I'd see you again and suddenly be reminded of what I felt for you. If anything, seeing you has only reinforced my love for this woman here. I love her more than life itself, so please, do yourself a favour and go. You're making yourself into a person that I know you're not. Go. Be happy, be with someone who loves you. Because that's not me. I don't love you, I'm not sure I ever did.'  
'What happened to you?'  
'Nothing happened to me. I've just changed. And it's because of Serena. She's changed me. Saved me from the person who I'd been for so long.'

'So you aren't having an affair?' Serena stepped in front of Bernie demanding answers.  
'Of course I'm not. I wouldn't do that to you. I love you too much, you daft cow.'  
Serena smiled the widest smile Bernie had ever seen on her face and grabbed her hands.  
'I love you too.'  
After a moment, Serena turned around and walked round to stand next to Alex.

'Listen to me. She's made it quite clear there is nothing between the two of you anymore. Frankly, the idea that you came back here is absurd. It's been over a year, but putting that aside. She's told you she doesn't love you, she loves me. And I love her. We've been through some of the worst things as a couple, worst things as parents; and we've coped. You know how? Together. We've been together every day; through the good and the bad. And we've come out the other side, fighting. Stronger and closer than ever before. I'm only going to say this once. Leave us alone. Go back to wherever you call home. Because; this here; this is our home and you're not part of it. So, Alex, do ourself and everyone else a favour, and leave.'

Alex could clearly see Serena and Bernie couldn't be shaken. She might love Bernie but it wasn't enough anymore. Feeling tears spring in her eyes, she wiped them with the back of her hand, and ran off back towards her own car. As Serena and Bernie watched her go, they both felt pity for her.  
'Well I never, that's a side of you I've never seen before.'  
'She didn't seem to be getting the message. So I had to tell her straight.'  
'I love how defensive you get.'  
'Not defensive, defending. Defending our love to her.'  
'It's funny, all I feel for her is pity. Pity that she hasn't been able to move on, like I have.'  
'Forget about her now. I don't think she'll be back in a hurry. I must say I'm rather glad you told her to you didn't love her. For a horrible minute, I thought you were going to leave me.'

Bernie walked straight over to Serena. Grabbing her hands, she pulled her towards her. Bernie flushed her lips against Serenas. There was that feeling, the feeling she never got tired of. Serena wrapped her arms around Bernies waist, responding immediately. They never got tired of that feeling, when they came into physical contact with each other. After a few minutes, Bernie withdrew.  
'Serena, I will never leave you. I couldnt. I'm in too deep. I love you too much. I can't function when you're not here. The last few hours have been horrible for me.'  
'So why did you go? Today is our day. A day off together in so long. I was so looking forward to spending the day with you, but you get up before dawn. And then I find you here mid-morning. What is going on?'  
'Mum?'

Serena turned around to see Elinor still standing there. In the moment, Serena had forgotten where they were and who was with them.  
'Ellie; what is it?'  
'Do you trust me?'  
'What; of course I do?'  
'Then; come with me.'  
'What? Now?'  
'Yes, come get in the car. We have things to do.'  
'Ellie. I think this is a little more important.'  
'Serena, listen to your daughter. I promise, you'll find out soon enough. But know this, everything I do, I do it for you.'  
'Quoting Bryan Adams now are we?'  
'Why not? You love the song as much as i do.'  
'What is with you two? You're keeping secrets, keeping me in the dark.'  
'Mum, get in the car, you will find out very soon, I promise.'

Serena shook her head, but against her better judgement, got back in the car. Elinor smiled at Bernie who mouthed her thanks. As the car started and drove off; Bernie let out a deep breath. No day was complete without drama in her life. Now the drama was done today; all she had to do was focus on the wedding.


	84. Chapter 84

84: Big Reveal

Bernie's heart was in her mouth. 12:45pm. Elinor and Serena were on their way here. Ellie had managed to get her Mum to calm down at the salon, where they'd finished their hair. She was still blissfully unaware of what was about come. All the months planning had been leading up to this. She had put her heart and soul into planning this afternoon, and it was all about to come to a head. 

Her plans had nearly been scuppered that morning by Alex's arrival. Luckily Elinor had managed to convince Serena to get back in the car, otherwise the reveal wouldn't have happened now, it would have happened when Bernie was caught off guard and unawares. Everything was set and in place. She'd got Serena here early so that she could break the news to her and give her a chance to write her vows, just like she had. Her vows had come from her heart and showed her how much she had changed. The Little card in her back pocket was so full of love, so full of every emotion she'd ever felt for Serena. It had taken a lot for her to write this down, but she was so glad she had, because she knew she wouldn't have been able to carry on with this day if she hadn't.

Everything was ready in the three rooms at the registry office. In the first Serena would be getting ready. Elinor had dropped hers and Serena's outfits to the registry office last night on her way to her mums meal. Bernie had loved Serena's outfit, she couldn't wait to see her in it. In the second Bernie would be getting ready. Her suit was hanging up in the room, ready and raring to go. And in the third they would become legally married with all their friends and family there beside them. Bernie could hardly contain her excitement. 

*********************************

Whilst Elinor and Serena had been in the salon, Cameron had blacked out the windows in Elinors car. Bernie had not wanted Serena to know she was pulling up outside the registry office. Elinor had come up with the idea and slipped Cameron her spare keys. However, coming up with a reason to explain it to Serena had come from Jason. He had suggested just telling Auntie Serena that the windows had been blacked out for a reason, but she couldn't know what it was. Elinor had smiled. Why make it more complicated than it actually needed to be?

As they pulled up outside the registry office, Elinor turned to her mum.  
'Mum, you need to trust me. I've got to do something.'  
'Ellie, I'm sick of being kept in the dark by you and Bernie.'  
'It's all going to be revealed in a minute I promise. You just need to trust me again.'  
'What are you going to do?'  
'I need to blindfold you.'  
'Blindfold me?'  
It was all part of Bernies plan. She wanted Serena completely in the dark about her plans, quite literally.  
'Yes, blindfold you. Bernie's orders. I'm just following them'  
'Do you know what she's got planned?'  
'Yes. And I won't tell you anything more than that?'  
'Can I just say one thing? I'm so glad you've accepted her into your life. After what happened, she was a rock and a tower of strength for  
me.'  
'Mum, you love each other. As you told me all those months ago.'  
'You remember what else I told you?'  
'What?'  
'About love?'  
'Yes, its infinite. Just because you love Bernie, doesn't mean you love me any less. I understand, I just want you to be happy, and Bernie makes you happy, I can see that.'  
Serena squeezed her daughters hand in thank you. Her words went straight to her heart.  
'So, do you really have to blindfold me?'  
'Yes, now close your eyes. I'll do it now.'

*********************************

The door opened. Serena and Elinor came through into the foyer of the registry office. Jason, Cameron and Charlotte were stood to one side and right in the middle of the room, stood a very nervous Bernie. She hadn't been prepared for just how worried Serena was looking. Elinor smiled as she guided her Mum forward to the centre of the room. 

When Serena was about a 100 metres from Bernie, in front of her, Elinor told her stay where she was. She walked over to join her cousin and soon to be step-siblings who were watching with baited breath to see how Serena would take the news.

'Serena? It's me?'  
'Bernie. What's going on?'  
'I needed you to be in the dark.'  
'The dark about what.'  
'What you're about to find out.'  
'Bernie, please just tell me. You're worrying me now.'  
'You can take that off now if you want.'  
'The blindfold?'  
'Yes.'  
'Do I want to?'  
'Auntie Serena, will you stop being silly and do as Auntie Bernie said. You love the attention. Now just take the blindfold off.'  
'Jason? What are you doing here?'  
'Well if you take the blindfold off you will find out. Must I explain everything to you?'

Serena pulled the blindfold off her face and blinked as her eyes adjusted to lighting in the room. As the room came into focus, she gasped as she saw the sign on the door in front of her.  
'The rest of our lives start right here. Marry me?'  
It was hung on the door to the wedding room, although Serena was yet unaware of that. Standing there rooted to the spot, she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her waist, and pull her close.  
'Well?'  
'Well what?'  
'Will you?'  
'Will i what? Marry you?'  
'Yes.'  
'You've already asked me that? And you know the answer. We have the rings on.'  
'Yes, but we don't have these rings.'

Bernie held up a box in front of Serena. Two wedding band sat in the box.  
'Wedding rings?'  
'Yes.'  
'We don't need them yet.'  
'Actually, we will be needing them in a couple of hours.'  
'Couple of hours? What?'  
'We're getting married.'  
Serena turned around to face Bernie. She could always tell when Bernie was lying or joking, so one look at her face, told her she was being serious.  
'Married? I know, we are.'  
'We're getting married here, today, at 3 o clock.'

Those 8 words had been one of the last things Serena expected to hear. Here. Today. 3 o'clock. The big reveal had certainly had the surprise effect on Serena. The wedding ceremony was drawing ever closer.


	85. Chapter 85

85: For Me

Bernie stood watching Serena. She was stood rooted to the spot in dumbfounded amazement and disbelief.  
'Bernie, you can't be serious.'  
'Oh but I am?'  
'Have you gone mad? This is crazy. Bernie, you can't just dream ideas up like this overnight. These things take time, due care and attention. Not something we feel like when the mood is right.'  
'But I didn't dream it up overnight.'  
'What?'  
'Serena, I've been planning it for months.'  
'Months?'  
'Yes. I wanted it to be a surprise.'  
'Well you defineltey succeeded in that alright?'  
'I've been planning this day for months. Every single aspect. I wanted it to be perfect. Everyone did.'  
'Everyone? Who else was in on this?'

Bernie glanced to he side of the room, Serena followed her gaze. Cameron, Charlotte, Jason and Elinor were looking sheepish.  
'Did you all know about this?'  
'Auntie Serena, we all knew. Bernie told us all months ago.'  
'Months ago? Jason, you kept this secret for months?'  
'Of course I did. We all did. Because Bernie did this for you. Because she loves you.'  
'Ellie? You knew as well?'  
'Mum, we wanted to make this day special for you. We've all chipped in. Even Raf and Fletch'  
'They knew as well?'  
'Raf helped me plan it Serena. Fletch found out after he walked in on us planning.'  
'How long have you been planning this?'  
'I told you. Months.'  
'How many months?'  
'Seven.'

Serena couldn't believe what she was hearing. All the people she loved in the world had been planning all this behind her back. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  
'I can't believe it.'  
'It's a lot to take in I know.'  
'Bernie, I just can't believe you've been lying to me all this time. All of you lying to me over and over again. Keeping secrets. Why are you doing this to me?'  
'Serena, I do this to you because I love you. I've been lying to you, but only because I didn't want you to find out til the right moment.'  
'And that's now is it?'  
'Serena, its killed me lying to you. When I found out how I'd made you feel all those months ago, I did wonder if it was all worth it.'  
'I knew something wasn't right. Bernie, you know how much I love you. Why do you throw it back in my face?'  
'Mum, Bernie hasn't done anything wrong here. We all did this for you, because we love you. I haven't had the best year and I wanted to show you how sorry I was for it. Bernie wants to show you how much she loves you. We all do, please, don't be mad.'

'For me?'  
'Everything I do is for you, surely you know that by now?'  
'Everything?'  
'Serena, you're my everything. You must know that. Everything I do is for you. You're my world, most important person I've ever had in my life, except these two of course (pointing at Cameron and Charlotte). I've said it before and I'll say it again. You saved me, saved me from myself. You chose to let me love you. You chose me, after everything that happened. Being with you has made the happiest I have ever been. Please, I did all this for you. To show you how much I love you. Please say yes?'

Serena burst into tears and threw her arms around Bernie. She was so in love with her right now. Bernie had a gift for saying all the right things at the right time. Bernie had just laid her heart on the line in front of their family. She had achieved her objective of surprising her- of all the things that had run through her mind, a surprise wedding had never even crossed her mind. 

Bernie pulled Serena as close to her as she could and clung to her, never wanting to let go. She'd done all this for the woman she so wanted to give everything to. She knew she'd lied to her, but it was all for a good cause, all because she'd been working up to this day. This moment. This afternoon.  
'Is that a yes?' She asked Serena as she buried her head in her shoulder.  
'I love you so much.'  
'I love you too.'  
Serena withdrew from the embrace and grabbed Bernies hands, squeezing them reassuringly.  
'I still can't believe you were all in on this.'  
'Shocked we could keep the secret right?'  
'Cameron, shocked, surprised, shellshocked. I felt them all trust me.'  
'You haven't answered my question yet.'  
'Bernie, of course it's a flaming yes. How could it be anything but after all this effort you've gone too?'  
'I love you so much, more than anything.'  
'I know that, I love you too.'  
'I'm so happy right now.'  
'So am I. Remember this moment.'  
'Trust me I will hold it in my heart forever.'  
'Much as I love this guys, moment over.'  
'Thank you Elinor. Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie, you have precisely 102 minutes until your wedding. And you have to get ready.'  
'Ready? What am I going to wear?'  
'Mum. I've got this, stop worrying, come with me.'  
'What?'  
'Trust me. Come with me.'

Serena turned to Bernie before she left with her daughter.  
'I'll see you at the altar.'  
'Wild horses couldn't keep me away. You know that.'  
'See you later.'  
'You can bet on it.'  
'I know you would.'  
'Remember one thing, everything I do..'  
'You do it for me.'


	86. Chapter 86

86: I Do

Serena stood behind the entrance to the room. She was full of nerves. When she woke up this morning, she had no idea by mid afternoon she'd be about to make a promise on this scale to the woman she loved.

The last two hours had passed by in a whirlwind. Elinors choice of outfit was perfect for her. She couldn't have got it any perfect herself. Serena was wearing an ankle length white dress with a black sash tied around the middle. It was simple and understated but the bold red of her lips and shoes tied the outfit together with her flowers. It was perfect for her.

 

Ellie was looking amazing in her red dress with the black sash around the middle. Her black roses really tied the outfit together. She and Charlotte had picked out their dressed themselves, and also bought Jason and Cameron's suits. They had been a little easier to buy for. Black suits with white shirts and red tie. Very simple but bought the colour scheme together. Not to mention the white roses in the collar of their jacket. They were all ready and raring to go.

Serena had spent many agonising moments over her vows for Bernie. Nothing she put into words described how much this woman meant to her. She'd done her very best and spoke directly from her heart.

********************************

Bernie stood at the other entrance to the room with Cameron by her side and Charlotte behind her. Bernie didn't think she'd ever been this nervous, she wasn't expecting it at all. She'd got ready in a heartbeat. For her today wasn't about looking the part. She'd picked out a black all in one suit with a white shirt and black shoes. She'd clipped a red rose to the lapel of her all in one. She was ready to go. She just hoped Serena was as well. 

The music started to play out. Serena recognised the song. 'There You'll Be.' She had told Bernie how much she loved this song one night when it had come on at Albies. She was amazed that Bernie had retained that information. 

As the doors open simultaneously and they both made their way to join each other at the altar, they were both very happy and very nervous. Serena glanced around and saw Raf, Fletch and Morven standing taking photos. Dom, Isaac, Ric and Hanssen were behind them. Dom, Isaac and Ric were smiling so widely, but Hanssen. He had that stern look on his face that he always wore, so Serena didn't know didn't know what he was thinking about the two of them. But she didnt care. This was about the two of them making their love official and legal, even though it would make no difference.

They both reached the front of the aisle at the same time. Jason and Cameron gave their guardians a very quick hug and then went with the girls to sit down. Serena took Bernies hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Bernie glanced over at Serena, and Serena could see how nervous she was. Surprising considering she'd organised it all for her. Serena was barely holding it together herself, so she didn't mind Bernie was nervous, for she was as well, she just did a better job of hiding it. 

After the usual spiel of anyone knowing any reason why they shouldn't be married; the registrar invited them to say their vows. This was the most important thing of all for the two of them.  
'Serena Campbell. What can I say? Where do I begin to describe my love for you? You're my best friend, my soulmate, my world. You will never know how much your love has been a guiding light to me since we've been together. Your laugh, your love of life. All these things make me so thankful every day you chose to let me love you. I promise to share my life and journey with you as we experience the rest of it together. Whatever life can throw at us, I know we can handle it. We've handled the storm together this year and I promise that will never change. Whatever you need I'm here, right by your side. I'm making my vow- to be by your side every day for the rest of our lives together, however long that may be. I vow never to spend one minute apart from you.'  
'Bernie, I don't know what to say to you, that I haven't said to you already. You know how much I love you. You're my guardian angel, honestly, you're a gift sent from heaven to me. You've been such a tower of strength for me this last year. We've seen some dark times but nothing can break us. We're fierce, forceful and forever. I'm making my promise to you, to be with you every single minute of every single day. I cannot cope for one day without you. You're my best friend. Your spark, your feisty nature. All these things I promise to keep on loving. Making my vows? The only thing i need to vow to you is to stand by you and keep loving you. Because if you do that for me, I can do it for you.'

The looks in each other's eyes as they said their vows. Their words reasonate so deeply with each other. They never let go of each other's hands and never broke eye contact.  
'Do you Serena Campbell take Berenice Wolfe to be your wife?'  
'I do.'  
'And do you Berenice Wolfe take Serena Campbell to be your wife?'  
'I do.'  
'Then it is my great pleasure to pronounce you both now legally married. You can kiss each other now.'

Bernie grabbed Serena's hands and pulled her in for a kiss. Their first one as a married couple. The two of them stood there in their personal bubble. All the guests were clapping. Morven, Elinor and Charlotte were wiping their eyes with tissues lrovided to them by Jason. But Bernie and Serena didn't notice any of that. For in that moment, the rest of the world melted away and they were there together and married.


	87. Chapter 87

87: We're Bound

They were married. And though the day hadn't been without its fair share of hiccups, the ceremony had gone without a hitch. Their vows had been so personal to each other, and both so similar. It had taken Bernie days to think of what to say. She was unable to put her feelings for Serena into words, but when she'd finally started to unlock her emotions, she'd found her stride. 

Serena on the other hand, had found it easy to describe what she felt for Bernie. Just no words did her justice. Nothing she could write or say to Bernie would ever let her know just how much she loved her and needed her to survive. For they now needed the other to survive. They couldn't cope on their own. Was too much for them to handle, and it was he one thing they were scared of happening. Being alone. 

But now they were married, legally they couldn't be closer. As soon as the ceremony was over, everybody went to congratulate them. The people from work stayed to lass on their congratulations and they made their way to Albies for the reception. They could tell Bernie and Serena wanted to be together with their family. 

Elinor went straight over to her Mum. Ellie had been with her Mum when she'd written her vows, but Bernies had been so personal as well, it had been so emotional watching them. Ellie knew her Mum had been so happy in that moment and she could have cursed herself for ever standing in the way of their happiness. They belonged together, that much was obvious. 

She threw her arms around her Mum. They were both crying happy tears.  
'Mum, I'm so happy for the two of you. This day couldn't have been more perfect for all of us.'  
'Thank you Ellie. You know I'll always love you the most out of anyone right? You are and always will be my little girl.'  
'Of course I know that.'  
'Bernie made this so perfect for me. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect ceremony if I had tried.'  
'I know it was beautiful. When the two of you said your vows, there wasn't a dry eye anywhere, even Jason was welling up. I could see him trying not to.'  
'Her vows were pretty special weren't they?'  
'Yours were too. I swear I was in tears just watching you. You were in your own bubble.'  
'I know, it was like me and her were the only two people who were in the universe in that moment. I'll never forget that.'

'And neither will I.' Bernie put her arms around Serena's waist. Serena smiled and turned to face her. It was happening again. As soon as the two of them locked eyes, everything else in the world melted away. It was just the two of them in their own bubble. Serena felt a tear slide down her cheek. She made to push it off but Bernie captured her hand as it moved up to her face.  
'I can't tell you how happy I am to say you're my wife now. We're legally bound.'  
'Being bound together by marriage is a wonderful thing. Thank you for those vows. They were so beautiful, so thoughtful.'  
'And so were yours. You made me have tears in my eyes.'  
'As did you. I can't believe you managed to write all that about me.'  
'Why wouldn't I? You're everything to me. You're my world. There isn't a thing in there I would take back.'  
'And neither would I. I still can't believe you organised all of this for me, without me.'  
'But everything I did, we all did. Was for you.'  
'I know and you did a bloody good job.'  
'There is still more to come.'  
'There's more?'  
'Serena Campbell, do you know me at all?'  
'I know one thing about you.'  
'And what's that?'  
'You're my wife.'  
'Yes I am, and you're mine.'

The two of them looked at their interlocked fingers with the two rings on each one. They were now bound in marriage. Whilst being married to each other was a huge milestone for the two of them; it didn't alter their feelings for one another and it wouldn't change them. They were bound together by so much more than their marriage. Their love, their children, their AAU family, the list was endless. 

They smiled to each other, and without letting go of their hands, extended their arms to their children. Bernie told Serena the best was yet to come and they headed out to the reception- Serena, Bernie, Elinor, Jason, Cameron and Charlotte- bound together by the the excitement of the day.


	88. Chapter 88

88: Reception

Bernie put her hands over Serena's eyes, so as not to spoil the surprise. Cameron and Charlotte had spent the whole morning decorating Albies, to make it fit for the reception. Bernie had wanted it to be somewhere where they both felt comfortable, and somewhere that they had fond memories. Albies had seemed like the perfect choice. So many times they'd been here- before and after their relationship began. It was a place they felt at ease with each other. Over many glasses of Shiraz, had the longing looks been exchanged between the two of them. 

That was why Bernie had chosen Albies. She just hoped Serena would like what she'd done to the place.  
'Bernie, can I see yet?'  
'One second. I want your honest opinion. Tell me if you don't like it.'  
'Let me see then.'  
Bernie removed her hands from Serena's eyes. Serena's eyes swivelled all around the room. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. From the centre pieces on the tables, to the candles along the bar. She hardly looked like the pub she'd been drinking in for the last 5 years.  
'Bernie....'  
'What? What is it?'  
'It's perfect.'  
'Really?'

Serena turned around and pulled Bernie to the centre of the room.  
'Look, what you did. This was all you. It's perfect. How could you think I wouldn't love it?'  
'Because I didn't know if this was you. Your style.'  
'Bernie, it's not me anymore. It's us. We're a package deal. Always have been. Always will be. I thought you knew that by now.'  
'I do; but I just want you to be happy.'  
'I'm happy with you. I always will be. You know why; because I love you, you idiot.'  
Bernie laughed fondly and leant in to kiss Serena. They were so full of love in that moment. There was no one else in the room with them at the time and all that mattered was making the other one realise just how much they loved them. But they knew that already. 

Hearing laughter and wolf whistles behind them; they broke apart. Fletch and Raf had just walked in. They did a 180 degree turn as they took in the sight that greeted them at Albies. Was like nothing like they'd ever seen before. Bernie Wolfe had a creative side- she'd done all this without telling them; and they'd been her confidants.

*********************************

People had been invited to the reception with the pretence of a surprise party. Jac, Ollie, Zosia, Matteo and Mo all arrived with the sole intention of drinking as much as they could on AAUs tab. They were as surprised as anyone to learn that the co-leads of AAU were now a legal married couple. Dom had managed to keep most people on Keller in the dark as well- Essie, Sacha and Jasmine were as surprised as the rest of the hospital but they knew that AAU was the strongest it had ever been; so they would do nothing but wish them all luck in the world.

Despite everyone from the hospital being there, Serena wouldn't have cared if they hadn't been there. For this day was about her and Bernie. The two of them celebrating their love for each other, celebrating their union with their family- both biological and illogical. 

The reception was in full swing. The alcohol had certainly been flowing a lot for the medics, who were all enjoying a rare night off. Serena and her beloved Shiraz had been reacquainted but she'd been careful not to get completely drunk, because she didn't want to miss a single moment of the rest of this day. She wanted this day to last for the rest of her life. She'd never been this happy before. Bernie had well and truly floored her today. It solidified in her that they really were forever. Swivelling the wedding ring around her finger, she smiled to herself as she watched Bernie dancing with Charlotte and Elinor. Bernie's dancing wasn't the best- she certainly didn't have a career in it; but Serena had never ever seen her this spontaneous and open. It was a side of Bernie she loved seeing, and it made her fall that little bit deeper in love with her.

The reception was far from over, and there were still some surprises to follow that had been organised by other people. This wedding day is far from over, and far from being an unemotional affair.


	89. Chapter 89

89: Speeches

Bernie and Serena were enjoying their reception. All their friends and family were here with them to celebrate. And the celebrations were about to get a lot more personal. For a few people had some words to say. It was time for their speeches. 

Everyone was sat around their tables- alcohol and food was being consumed and the whole atmosphere was joyful and loving. Anyone could see Serena and Bernie were blissfully happy. Raf took a breath and stood up. Tapping his knife on his wine glass, he waited for everyone to settle down. All eyes and ears were on him. Bernie and Serena looked shocked he was going to speak- one thing Bernie hadn't planned was others, besides herself making a speech. This was their gift to her. Their gift of words.

'I'm not very good at this whole speech thing, so I'll keep it short and brief. I just want to pass on my congratulations to Ms Campbell and Ms Wolfe. I, for one, had been rooting for them for a very long time. They bring out the best in each other, and they are so in love. It's plainly obvious for anyone to see. Working so closely with Serena for as long as I have, I truly have never seen her connect with someone on a level like you Bernie. She truly had found her soulmate. I wish the two of you every happiness and may your life together be very long and filled with joy.'  
Serena had welled up at Rafs words. She hadn't been expecting such words from her colleague and friend. Raf was probably the person she was closest to on the ward, besides Bernie and Jason, so to hear such amazing words from him meant a lot to her. Their eyes met over the tables and she mouthed thank you to him. He nodded in reception of her thanks and then sat down.

Cameron and Charlotte stood up. They were not used to every eye being on them. Charlotte had wanted to say something to them, but she didn't know what, so she'd roped Cameron into helping her.  
'Mum, I cant begin to describe how much today has meant to me. To be here with you, watching you making an honest woman of Serena finally.'  
Cameron paused as people began to laugh.  
'I think the funniest thing for me is that we all knew you were in deep. We all knew before you did. All those months ago, I told you, and you brushed it off. I knew then that the two of you had a special relationship, but I didn't realise just how much you relied on each other, needed each other.'  
'Mum, getting to spend these last few months with you, helping you plan this for Serena, it's bought the fun back into our relationship. I can see now I was wrong- you two are perfect for each other. I didn't realise quite how much until I saw it with my own eyes. Watching the two of you together- it's a proper love story that I've only ever seen in rom coms on the tele.'  
'Charlotte and me wish the two of you all the luck in the world. With the two of us as step children, Serena has her work cut out for her. I don't think she knows what she's letting herself in for.'

As Cameron finished his speech, Serena's hand found Bernie's under the table. Grabbing it; she squeezed it. Bernie glanced to her left at the woman she loved. Serena glanced to her right and the two of them locked eyes. Once again the two of them said so much in that one moment. Cameron finished his speech and as everyone clapped, Serena broke the eye contact. Bernie was welling up as well. Her children had never spoken so openly to her before- everyone was behind her, it was shocking. 

The last people to stand up were Elinor and Jason. Bernie certainly hadn't been expecting a speech from them.  
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie, this day has been so great. Although the time keeping hasn't been great; due to cousin Elinor and Auntie Serena getting side tracked earlier this morning. However, certain things came up that couldn't be avoided, so I will forgive you for that. When Auntie Bernie told me about this wedding months ago, I thought she was being stupid. I thought she'd been spending too much time with Auntie Serena, who is definitely the most stupid out of all of us. Anyway; but now. Auntie Bernie has done a great job with today and I have never seen anyone as happy as I have seen Auntie Serena right now. Though; I can still see your frown lines from here. Cousin Elinor?'  
'Thanks Jason. This last year hasn't been the greatest year for me. We have all been pushed harder than we ever could. I was behaving like such a spoilt little girl, and I almost died. Bernie, you were my mothers support when I was on a ventilator. I can't thank you enough, I almost ruined it for the two of you and I don't know what I was thinking. The fact Bernie brought me back to share in your special day means so much to me. I can't begin to tell you how much I wish the two of you every happiness. Mum, I love you so much. Bernie, welcome to the family.'

Bernie stood up. Serena cottoned on to the fact she was about to make a speech.  
'Firstly I would like to say thank you to everyone who helped me make this day as amazing as it has been. Secondly, people who have just wished us congratulations, thank you. You have all at some point played a part in the Berena story. Berena is the name that one of my colleagues thought up for the two of us. And it's perfect for the two of us. Half my name, half Serena's. Sums up our lives together. Half me, half her. I'm not myself anymore. She's part of me, and I'm part of her. Serena, you will never know just how much you have saved me from myself and how much I love you. I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life, but for the rest of our lives together, I'll spend every day loving you That little bit more. Our family has an inbreakable bond no-one can sever. I don't want to say much more but thank you everyone for coming. Today I am happier than I ever have been. And that's down to one person- you Serena.'

Everyone was welling up at Bernie's speech, Serena included. As Bernie made to sit down, Serena stood up on an impulse. She pulled Bernie in for a kiss and all their guests burst into applause, some of them in tears as well.


	90. Chapter 90

90: Chipped In

After the speeches and the first dance, the atmosphere lightened considerably. Bernie had been careful to when picking a song for their first dance. It was a tradition at weddings that she wasn't going to miss out on. Bernie knew that Serena loved most music, but picking the song had been difficult, until it had hit her like a ton of bricks. Everything I Do- Bryan Adams. It was perfect, and summed up the day perfectly. Everything she did was for Serena, and everything Serena did was for her. She had their song.

As the music started Serena eyes widened as Bernie pulled her onto the dance floor. Serena wasn't the strongest dancer, and neither was Bernie, but that moment was so emotionally charged that everyone was just watching the two of them. They moved as they always did- as one. As the song played out, everyone was swept away by the romantic atmosphere and the free-flowing drinks. 

Bernie and Serena didn't register anything that was going on around them. They didn't break eye contact for the whole duration of the song, and when it ended, the two of them just stood there for a moment, before everyone burst into applause and they were brought back down to earth with a bump. 

*********************************

Hours later, when people had started to make their excuses and leave, Serena noticed that the kids had gone.  
'Bern, any idea where the kids have gone?'  
'They might have just gone.'  
'Without saying goodbye, that doesn't sound like them.'  
'Hun, they'll be around somewhere. Jason is probably giving them a hard time about the length of time their speeches took.'  
'Speaking of which, yours was amazing. I loved every word.'  
'And I meant every word of it. You know that right?'  
'Of course I do.'  
'Today's been the best hasn't it?'  
'I've loved every single second of it. I can't believe how many people chipped in to make this day amazing.'  
'We did it all together. For you.'  
'I know.'

Elinor, Jason, Charlotte and Cameron walked into the pub. Everyone else had left, it was 10:30pm. Jason had created about being up late, a break in his routine; but after some bargaining with Elinor, he's agreed to stay. They saw Serena and Bernie still sitting st the bar, the glasses of Shiraz almost empty. Serena notices them as they approached the bar and nudged Bernie who turned around and her face broke into a smile.

'There you all are, we thought you'd gone.'  
'We wouldn't go without saying goodbye. No, we had to go and get something.'  
'Cameron, what could any of you possibly need at this time of night?'  
'Mum. Bernie. This is a gift from all of us. We all chipped in to get it. We really hope you like it.' Elinor handed over the envelope.  
'What is this?'  
'Auntie Serena, why don't you just stop being stupid and open it. I haven't stayed up later just to watch you being as stupid as usual.'  
Charlotte caught her Mums eye and they both burst out laughing. Jason's treatment of Serena never failed to amuse them. The two of them were so alike.  
'Well I'm sorry Jason. Okay; we will open it.'

Serena opened the envelope and two tickets fell out, along with an email print out. Initially confused, Bernie picked up the email confirmation.  
'It's confirming our booking for the hotel. What hotel?'  
Serena was holding the tickets, and it dawned on her what was going on.  
'These tickets, there plane tickets for Venice.'  
'Venice? Are you being serious?' Bernie moved closer to Serena so she could see them in the light.  
'Mum; we knew you hadn't thought about a honeymoon. So this is our wedding present to you.'  
'Charlotte, is this from all of you.'  
'Yes Mum, all of us. Because we're your family. We all chipped in. That's what families do.'  
'I don't know what to say.'  
'Auntie Serena, you could just say thank you like any normal person.'

Bernie and Serena exchanged a look between themselves before thanking their children.


	91. Chapter 91

91: Touchdown

Serena sat watching the world go by. Thousands of miles up in the air above all civilisation was her kind of serenity. The peace and tranquility of her much needed break away from reality. Glancing over to her left, she smiled sweetly to herself. The woman she loved, her wife, had fallen asleep in her chair. With her legs curled up under her and her head resting on her arm, she looked so peaceful. 

72 hours had passed since their wedding. The last 2 days had passed in a blur, the two of them had been working, trying to make up for the fact that they were having the next week off without notice. Luckily Hanssen has understood. He was having Ric cover the breach while they were away. 

Serena had so many reasons to be smiling. As she say gazing at Bernie; there was her biggest one right there. Bernie was her reason for existing, she had been for the past 16 months, it had just taken Fletch almost being killed for her to realise it. Her eyes moved downwards. Her fingers, splayed apart on her arm rest, the two rings on her ringer glistening in the soft light of the cabin. She was so thankful for the person who was orchestrating her life and bought Bernie into it. Because her life had just been passing her by, she was almost treading water until that day when she'd arrived. 

Now they had their whole future and the rest of their lives to look forward too. The next chapter in their story as it were. Serena couldn't wait to see what life was going to throw at them because she had no doubt they could handle anything. 

What if? Those words were a distant memory and didn't plague her mind constantly anymore. Instead they'd been replace with the three words beginning with f. Fierce. Forceful. Forever. Serena knew they would never leave her, just like Bernie. They were part of each other. They were Berena after all.

********************************

The sound of the voice over the intercoms broke Bernies sleep. She'd slept the entire time on the flight. She guessed the excitement of the last few days had finally caught up with her. Opening her eyes, it took her a moment to remember where she was. Oh yes, on the plane thousands of miles in the air. 

'Hey, you're finally back in the land of the living.' Serena was sat reading a magazine when she'd noticed Bernie waking up.  
'Hey, yeah, sorry have I been asleep long?'  
'Just the entire flight, why are you apologising?'  
'I don't know.'  
'You don't need to. I quite enjoy watching you sleep.'  
'Watching me?'  
'Yes. You're so beautiful when you sleep.'  
'That's so beautiful but also creepy, rolled into one. You know that right?'  
'I don't care. I'll be creepy about you all you want. You're mine.'  
'I know that.'  
'Feeling better and refreshed now yes?'  
'Feel like a human again.'  
'You certainly don't look it.'  
'You're so blunt.'  
'Baby, you wouldn't have me any other way would you?'  
'Of course not. But I am allowed to say aren't I?'  
'Of course, but you married me, so tou have to put up with it.'  
'I'm so glad I did marry you, despite your brutal honesty.'  
'Good; because I'm never going to change.'  
'I don't want you to, I love you just the way you are.'  
'And I love you.'

Bernie leaned over and placed a kiss on Serena's lips.  
'Did they say how long until we reach Venice?'  
'We'll be touching down any time now.'  
'I can't wait. I'm so excited.'  
'You're like a big kid.'  
'Baby, you wouldn't have me any other way.'  
Serena caught Bernies eye and a mischevious grin appeared on both their faces.  
'Or course I wouldnt.'  
'I can't wait to go sightseeing.'  
'Once we touchdown Serena, our new life starts right here. It's goodbye to the last year of pain and struggles, and hello to the next forty years of whatever is coming our way.'

As Bernie said this, the plane touched down at Marco Polo Airport. Their honeymoon was about to begin.


	92. Chapter 92

92: Settled

The moment Bernie and Serena stepped off the plane, the full force of the the Italian sunshine hit them. They couldn't help but smile at each other. The weather being wonderful was just the start of what was to come this week. Finally- time away from everything and everyone. They could focus on each other. 

Bernie grabbed Serena's hand as they walked through the airport to the baggage collection.  
'I still can't believe we're here. It doesn't seem real.'  
'Believe it Serena, but I know what you mean. I feel like I'm dreaming.'  
'I can pinch you if you want, it will only reinforce that we are actually here in Venice.'  
'I don't need pinching. If this was a dream I would never want it to end. But it's not- my dreams have come true with you anyway.'  
'You dream about me?'  
'Is that creepy?'  
'No, I dream about you as well Hun. I just never thought you did as well.'  
'Why wouldn't I? I love you.'  
'And I you as well.'  
'Oh there's my bag.'

Bernie's bag was one of the first off the plane. She'd only packed the bare essentials and managed to get it into one bag. Serena on the other hand- well it seemed she'd packed everything but the kitchen sink. Bernie couldn't help laughing when she'd seen Serena's two full to bursting suitcases. This was another example of how different the two of them were, but Bernie wouldn't change Serena for the world. She loved her just the way she was. She guessed the saying Opposites Attract really was true after all. But it wasn't always the case. They were similar in so many respects, their passion and love for the job, their ability to run the ward. Bernie had rarely found anyone who she had felt so in sync with and as Serena had said herself all that time ago, there was no denying they were in fact equals. 

After what seemed like an eternity, Serena's second suitcase finally found its way off the plane. She had begun to think that it hadn't been bought off. She plucked it from the rail. Bernie took it straight out of her hands and begun to pull it behind her, putting her own bag on top.  
'What are you doing?'  
'Helping you.'  
'Why? I managed it perfectly fine at the airport before.'  
'I know, but you were occupying both hands.'  
'So?'  
'Well I want one free to hold it.'  
'Oh.'  
Serena returned Bernies smile without hesitation as the blonde slipped her hand into the brunettes. Together they walked towards the exit of the airport, hand in hand.

********************************

An hour later; they finally arrived at the hotel. It was a good half an hour drive from the airport, and Bernie had got lost after leaving the car rental that was located next door. The kids had taken hours to pick the best hotel they could find. And they had done well. 

The Gritti Palace was right on the canal. The views across Venice were amazing. Bernie and Serena couldn't believe the view from the lobby. Serena just stood taking in the break while Bernie checked them in. She couldn't believe that Elinor, Jason, Cameron and Charlotte had done all this for them. Her heart thumped with love for all of them- their gift was so amazing, so unbelievable; they wanted them to have a break and enjoy being together. That was all she'd ever wanted- her family to say they still loved her. And this proved they did. Finally all her cares and worries were gone. 

Bernie walked over with a spring in her step; and a twinkle in her eye.  
'What's got you so happy?'  
'Wait and see.'  
'We are staying here aren't we?'  
'Yes. All checked in.'  
'So..?'  
'It's a surprise. Come on. Let's go and get settles, and then we'll go and see if we can get a drink or Shiraz anywhere around here.'  
'My kinda girl.'  
'And I thought you married me just for my looks.'  
'Your looks, your smile, your everything babe, trust me.'  
'Flattery will get you nowhere with me.'  
'Good job I have other talents then isn't it?'  
Bernie caught Serena's hand and gave her a mischievous grin as she led her over to the lifts. 

The doors slid open on the top floor of the hotel. This was a world away from Holby. The chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the artwork on the walls. So much more luxurious than they were both used to. They walked to the end of the corridor and turned left. There was only one room down there. Bernie pulled open the doors. Serena gasped when she saw the sight that greeted her. 

It was the honeymoon suite. Serena's eyes swivelled around the room in record time, not wanting to miss anything.  
'This is unbelievable.'  
'Surprise.'  
'You knew about this?'  
'No, I made it happen.'  
'What do you mean?'  
'The kids had paid for us to stay in the presidential suite, but I paid for an upgrade to this. We only get one honeymoon, we may as well do it in style.'  
'I love you so much.'  
'You like it then?'  
'I absolutely love it. You never fail to surprise me.'  
'I'll surprise you for the rest of our lives. I can promise you that.'  
'I bet you will.'  
'Now, shall we get settled and go and give Venice the Berena approval?'  
'My big macho army medic, I love you so much. You're talking my language.'  
'And you, my pack everything but the kitchen sink wife.'  
'Pack everything but the kitchen sink? That's hardly romantic is it?'  
'No; but it's funny.'  
'Okay, I'll give you that.'  
'Now, lets get unpacked and give Venice the magic touch.'


	93. Chapter 93

93: Berena Magic

Bernie and Serena couldn't wait to get out of the hotel and put their own spin on Venice. This was their time, their chance to be a proper couple and escape the hassles of every day life. Elinor was looking after Jason and Ric was handling AAU. They could finally breathe again after he hassles of a very long year.

The time had come to close the door on their old life, and open the door to their new one. Their future together as a married couple. Building a stable foundation for their future together- with all their family. 

'This still doesn't seem real.'  
'I know. I can't believe everyone did this for us.'  
'Believe it. We all did this because we love you. You've been a guiding light for everyone all your life. You give so much of yourself, and you don't expect anything in return. It's time now, to let people return the favour. Let us take of you, and show us how much we love you.'  
'And will you show me?'  
'I'll show you every day of your life how much I love you.'  
'And how can I show you?'  
'You already did, by marrying me.'  
'I can think of other ways.'  
'Oh you can can you?'

Serena leant forward over and wrapped her arms around Bernie. Pulling her close, she initiated the embrace, which Bernie returned just as eagerly. Their desires for each other returned again to the forefront of their minds, and they had to satisfy them, right there and then.

********************************

After exploring their sexual desires and they were both well and truly salted, Bernie and Serena had worked up quite a thirst, so they both got dressed and hand in hand, went out to give Venice a touch of the old Berena magic. 

As they left their hotel, they walked alongside the canal. The view was so amazing, so picture perfect.  
'A postcard moment.'  
'I know hun, it's gorgeous isn't it?'  
'Yes.'  
'Though not as gorgeous as you of course.'  
Bernie's cheeks flushed as red as Serena's blouse. Serena complimented her all the time but she still, even a year and a half layer; couldn't get her used to hearing it.  
'Serena!'  
'What?'  
'Just....'  
'Just what?'  
'Nothing.'  
'No, come on, tell me.'  
'I will never get tired of hearing that and yet it always feels strange.'  
'What?'  
'You calling me beautiful?'  
'But you are. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met.'

Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie. Bernie might give off the aura that nothing fazed her, but no one had ever worked out that her real achilles heal had been accepting a compliment. 

'Remember this moment. What I said, how you feel.'

As Serena said those words, Venice melted away and suddenly Bernie was back in the corridor outside theatre saying those same words to Serena. What a throwback. So much had happened since her return from Kiev. Those words has stayed with Serena since that day and she'd spoken them in many occasions. It reinforced Bernie's love for her. 

Wrapping her arms around her lower back, Bernie pulled her ever closer. She wanted her to be as near as she could. The two of them just stood there clinging on to each other in the hot afternoon sun of the Venice daylight.


	94. Chapter 94

94: Exploring 

Serena and Bernie had left the canal behind them as they walked the five minutes to Piazza San Marco, otherwise known as St Marks Square. It was one of the most visited spots in all of Venice, Bernie had read about it on the internet and on the tour book before she'd left Holby.  
'You know this used to be a market. It's considered one of the finest squares in the world, and it's Venice's most popular spot.'  
'I can see that Hun, it's so busy. I mean, look at this queue for this building. What is this?'  
'That's the Basilica di San Marco.'  
'The what?'  
'I read about it. It used to be a chapel.'  
'Do you want to have a look around?'  
'Really?'  
'Babe, this isn't just about me. We do things together as a package, if you want to have a look, just ask. Theres enough time this week to explore everything, you seem to know a lot about this place.'  
'No, I just like to be knowledgeable about where I'm going to, so I can be prepared for any surprises.'  
'A woman who's so good at planning surprises for other people, really doesn't like them much herself does she?'  
Bernie returned Serena's smile, as they joined the queue to explore the Basilica. 

Over an hour later, they emerged. Bernie had loved every second, and while Serena had been out of her comfort zone, even she'd had to admit, the place was special. The inlaid marble floors, the walls covered in ethereal and luminous gold mosaics, she knew she'd never see a sight like it again. She'd smiled as she'd seen Bernies face light up, especially in the treasury. This was what the honeymoon was about- doing things that one person enjoyed together. As a couple. 

'You're turn now Serena. Anywhere you fancy exploring?'  
'That tower over there looks interesting.'  
'The Campanile. I read about that one too.'  
'Why doesn't that surprise me?'  
'It reminds me of you.'  
'Excuse me?'  
'In a good way?'  
'How on earth can a tower remind you of me?'  
'I'll tell you why. When it was built, it was so tall, it was used as a guiding beacon for ships to find their way home, saving them. That's why it reminds me of you. Because it saved the ships and bought them home, just like you did for me.'

Serena's smile spread so wide across her face. Bernie grabbed her hand and pulled her wife over to the Campanile. Inside, they grabbed the elevator and went straight to the top. Hundreds of feet in the air was the platform at the very top of the tower.  
'Wow' breathed Serena, the moment the lift doors opened.  
'It's incredible.'  
'The view is amazing.'

In front of them; the sun was beginning to set over Venice. The dusk was fast approaching, and the sky was tinged with pink. Serena took a step nearer to the rail on the platform. Holding her breath; she examined the view in front of her. The whole of Venice was before her and Bernie- the canal, the lagoon, the square below them where the Venetians and tourists looked like ants. It was incredible. 

She heard the sound of a bottle opening. Turning around, she saw Bernie had pulled a bottle of Shiraz out of her bag, along with two plastic cups.  
'What?'  
'Where on earth did you get that?'  
'I bought it at the airport. While you were in the toilet putting your face on. You know I said I went to clear my head for a minute. Well I didn't. I was planning on using it later, in the privacy of the hotel, but I think this is more romantic.'  
'I love you. You never fail to surprise me.'  
'I can plan a good surprise, I just hate having on sprung on me.'  
Bernie handed Serena a cup.  
'To us, and exploring our future.'  
'To us.' echoed Serena.

Bernie pulled Serena in for kiss before wrapping her arm around her shoulder. The two of them sat there, watching the sunset over Venice, a million miles away from the hustle and bustle of the square below.


	95. Chapter 95

95: Magic

After watching the sun set over Venice, Bernie and Serena watched as the night sky turned darker and the stars came out. Venice at night was completely and utterly breathtaking. The view of the cityscape with the backdrop of the night sky. Magnificent was the word that came to mind.  
'Postcard moment again.'  
'I know. I can't believe we're here.'  
'Well we should go Hun. This place shuts in about ten minutes'  
'It's our own piece of heaven up here. I never want to leave it.'  
'Much as I hate to, we have to.'

Serena sighed as she heaved herself up off the bench on the platform, and into the lift. Nothing has prepared her for the peacefulness and the serenity of Venice. It was a million miles away from her life in Holby. She hadn't known what she was missing until she'd been plucked from her safety net and into one of the most romantic cities in the world. 

As they left the Campanile behind them, Bernie put her arm around Serena's shoulder, pulling her close to her. Serena wrapped her arm around Bernies waist as the two of them strolled around St Marks Square.  
'Something about Venice at night, gives off the feeling that anything is possible.'  
'I know, I get that all the time Bernie.'  
'Why? We're not here all the time?'  
'Because I get that feeling when I'm with you. The sky is the limit, the world is our oyster, and all those cliches. Anything is possible with you by my side.'  
'As it is when you're by mine.'  
'So, where are we going now?'  
'I don't know, and I don't care. As long as we're together and we don't get lost.' 

Bernie and Serena slipped out of the back of St Marks Square and headed in a westerly direction. While Venice might have its fair share of churches, museums and squares, nothing was quite as romantic as the labyrinth of backalleys. The medieval labyrinth of canals and alleys is what makes Venice so special. As Bernie and Serena explored the Cannaregio area, they found themselves swept up in the Venetian Magic. Wandering aimlessly through the area they were drawn to each other like two ends of a magnet that can't fight the attraction. 

Getting lost in the alleys and grabbing the odd moment of solitude was the best thing the two of them had experienced in a long time. They never let go of each other's hands, and couldn't help but smile when they emerged in the Ghetto. The place was so alive, so full of colour. Bernie and Serena ended up at one of the cafes, having a late supper and watching the children playing football whilst the bar next door played out rather loud music.

'This place is magic.'  
'You could say that. But I think we tend to make our own magic.'  
'As in reference to what?'  
'Serena; this place is magic because we are making it magic. It's breathtaking because we choose to see it like that. Beauty is the eye of the beholder.'  
'In my mind, there is nothing more beautiful and magic as this place. It seems such a world away from the stresses of everyday life.'  
'I know, it's our own slice of heaven, but it isn't our reality. Our reality is back home, saving lives and as much as we love it here, we wouldn't swap our lives back home for the world.'  
'I know, and what you said I think that's true. We make our own magic. It's true. Anyone can make magic if they try hard enough.'  
'Get you, going all philosophical on me all of a sudden.'  
'What can I say, I learnt from the best?'  
'You certainly did.'


	96. Chapter 96

96: Romantic Atmosphere 

The week went by far too quickly for Serena's liking. This was her and Bernie's one and only honeymoon, and it was going by far too quickly. Serena could have blinked and could have missed it. There was only 2 days left until Berena left the romance of Venice behind them, before they were flying back to the beckoning paperwork and patients.

Bernie, however, couldn't wait to be home. She was absolutely loving her honeymoon with Serena and she didn't want it to end, but she couldn't wait to be back in the thick of it on AAU. 

After their night strolling, they'd gone back to the Gritti and slept the rest of the night through. Bernie had ordered breakfast for Serena on their first morning and they'd spent most of the day wandering around St Marks Square again exploring the rest of their museums, until they'd accidentally stumbled upon the Giardinetti Reale. 

It was quite a find after the hustle and bustle of the square. It was amazing to see how juxtaposed the two were. One moment; you're walking along the Molo (just west of the square) and then suddenly you're surrounded. Bernie and Serena had had to go in and look. No one was inside so they had the place to themselves. Serena grabbed Bernies hand as the two of them had explored around the Giardinetti. 

The oasis was filled to the brim with roses of all colours. There was duck ponds and benches all around. It was almost like an indoor park. Bernie and Serena had spent most of their second afternoon there just sat on a bench talking into the early hours of the evening before returning to the hotel for supper. 

Every evening they went out for a stroll to explore Venice that little bit further. Both of them loved Venice in the moonlight. It was far more romantic and private at night. In the day all the Venetians were going about their normal daily life plus all the tourists, but at night, it was almost as if the people had gone to sleep. Bernie and Serena could stroll for hours around Venice at night- never really going anywhere specific, just going wherever the mood took them.

That was the special thing about Venice. Around every corner was a surprise- another feather to add to their cap of adventures. Everywhere they went- the Campanile, the Basilica, the Giardinetti, the back alleys; even the canal, had a romantic quality to it. Being here had bought them closer than they had ever been. Yes when they came here they were as close as could be but five days of being with each other in the city of love, surrounded by love- some of it had rubbed off on them.

The fifth evening, rolled around. Only two more full days and then they would be leaving this place. Bernie and Serena were in the terrace on their honeymoon suite; watching the sunset. Serena was sat on the sofa outside with her feet up on the chair. She had one arm around Bernie who was lying with her head on Serena's chest.  
'I've never been this happy. You have to know that Serena.'  
'Neither have I, and believe me I already know. This honeymoon has been perfect.'  
'It's not over yet. I had an idea, feel free to say no if you think it's a bad idea.'  
'What?'  
'We've got two full days left yes?'  
'Yes?'  
'I thought maybe tomorrow could be my day and the last day your day, or vice versa. I thought maybe tomorrow I could plan what we do and you do the last day. I wanted this to be perfect and there's a couple of things that I know we haven't done that I want to.'  
'Actually that's a brilliant idea. I want the last day though, I want to make it special.'  
'I thought you might.'

Serena bent down and kissed the til of Bernies head. Bernie cuddled even further into her.  
'Wherever we go, whatever we do, you know I don't mind what, as long as we're together.'  
'I know that Bernie, but wherever we go, whatever we do is so special here anyway. Because everywhere is romantic.'  
'I know what you mean. Everywhere is so romantic. It has a romantic atmosphere.'


	97. Chapter 97

97: Bernie's Day

The sixth day of their honeymoon arrived. Bernie had been awake half the night thinking of plans for the day. She wanted it to be special for the two of them, something that peaked their interest, and then it had struck her like a lightning bolt. It had been so simple. Something they both loved and she knew Serena wouldn't see it coming. A surprise up her sleeve, she'd gone to sleep with a smile on her face. 

She woke up at 8am on the dot. The Venice sunshine was peering through the curtains. Stretching herself out from the foetal position she'd rolled herself into, she turned over to see Serena smiling up at her.  
'So you're finally awake then?'  
'Have you been staring at me?'  
'I love watching you sleep. You're so peaceful and beautiful to watch. I can't help it.'  
'I have to admit, I've watched you sleep so many times. Funny isn't it?'  
'Isn't it just?'

Bernie returned Serena's smile as she pushed back the duvet to get up.  
'What's the hurry?'  
'We have a bit of a drive today. We're going further afield than Venice? So get up, get dressed and let's get down to breakfast, then we can make a move.'  
'You've planned today haven't you?'  
'Overnight yes, but with a fine tooth comb.'  
'Wouldn't expect anything less from my big macho army medic.'

*********************************

An hour and a half later, Bernie stopped the car and pulled over into an unassuming car park. Serena had no idea where they were or what they were doing, but Bernie could usually be relied upon to pull it out of the bag when she needed to, so Serena took her hand as they both left the car and road behind and headed down a small footpath. 

After about 10 minutes, Serena was still none the wiser. The footpath ended and merged into a country lane. Bernie lead Serena across the road and up another long path.  
'Bernie, where are we going?'  
'All will become clear in a minute I promise. Trust me.'  
'You know I trust you.'  
'Look, we're here now.'  
'Where?'

Bernie pointed at the sign and Serena followed her hand. Reading it Serena's heart soared.  
'A vineyard?'  
'Not just any vineyard? Here they happen to grow the Syrah grapes. The grapes that make our favourite wine.'  
'Shiraz?'  
'Could it be anything but? I rang them while you were finishing breakfast. Today we're going to make our own wine and then have a wine tasting. But we can't have too much because I've got an hour drive. We have to be done here by 3.'  
'Firstly, that's amazing. I never thought I would be doing this. I love Shiraz, it's a crutch for me, you know that more than most, and the fact that you managed to sort it for me so that we could make some, wow. And secondly, why do we have to be done here by 3?'  
'Because we have to leave Verona by 3:30, to get back to Venice. I have plans for this evening.'  
'What kind of plans?'  
'Just know that you'll need to dress up really nice but that's all I'll tell you. For now, let's focus on making our wine.'  
'I love you so much. Thank you, this is amazing.'

Serena closed the gap between her and Bernie and kissed her. Bernie responded with such force it almost knocked Serena off her feet entirely. It might only be 9:45 in the morning but the sun was beating down on them from above. As the two of them stood there embracing, the temperature continued to rise, not noticing anything but each other.

*********************************

Later that afternoon, the two of them left Verona with 2 bottles of Shiraz that they had been able to make. To go out into the vineyard to pick the grapes had been such fun. The two of them stood in the shade feeding each other the odd grape. So romantic. Then had been the funniest part. Back in the building they'd had to squash the grapes with their feet to get the juice out. The two of them had took to holding hands and jumping together, but the two of them couldn't stop laughing so it had been quite enjoyable but awkward at the same time. 

While the wine was being made; the two of them had enjoyed a wine tasting with the vineyards manager. Being able to taste different wines, not just Shiraz had been a great way to spend their day. At the end of it, they'd been presented with the bottles they'd made.

As they made their way down the footpath towards the car, Serena grabbed Bernies hand.  
'Thank you for that. That was so amazing.'  
'I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wanted us to enjoy something new together. Something that we would both enjoy. I really enjoyed it too.'  
'You seem to have a knack of knowing exactly what I need and what I enjoy.'  
'That's what love is isn't it?'  
Serena caught Bernies eye and the two of them smiled as they got into the car. Bernie grabbed Serena's hands after they put their seat-belts on.  
'Today isn't over yet. I have plans for this evening.'  
'Yes you mentioned. Are you going to tell me what they are yet?'  
'No but I'm really hoping you'll enjoy it. It's a bit of stab in the dark.'  
'Bernie, I'm sure I will live it. You know touve made this an impossible day to follow with regards to tomorrow.'  
'Do you have no idea what you want to do?'  
'Oh I had an idea.'  
'Well go with it then. You know me better than you think. Trust your instincts.'  
'Okay.'  
Bernie let go of Serena's hands and have her a wan smile as she put the keys in the ignition and they left Verona.

*********************************

Back at the hotel, Serena had been told to dress nice. Luckily she'd had the forefront to pack a few dresses in case of going out anywhere nice.  
'Bernie, it would really help me if you would tell me where we were going?'  
'You really want to know? I'm scared you won't like it.'  
'Trust me, I know I will. Because it's you.'  
'Okay. We're going to the theatre.'  
'The theatre?'  
'Yes, there's a nice one on the outskirts of Venice. The show starts at 7, so get your skates on.'  
'That's perfect. How could you think i wouldn't enjoy it?'  
'I'm scared of disappointing you?'  
'Berenice Wolfe, you will never disappoint me. Surely you know that by now?'  
'Well my head does. But my heart doesn't.'  
'Well what does your heart know?'  
'How much love I have for you.'

Serena smiled at Bernie through the door of the bathroom. Bernie always knew the right thing to say. She never failed to amaze her. Today had been the best day. From the vineyard, to the wine making, to the theatre trip this evening. This was Bernie's day and she'd utilised it to the maximum. Tomorrow was going to be a different story. Serena had a very different sort of day planned, but she hoped it wouldn't disappoint Bernie after the day she'd had today. She'd have to wait and see.


	98. Chapter 98

98: Serena's Day

Their last full day in Venice rolled around. Serena was awake before Bernie again and lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Somehow she was worried today wasn't going to be to Bernies liking. So many wonderful things had happened since they'd been in Venice, but she was worried today wouldn't live up to the promise. Bernie always knew what to do to surprise her at the right time, but after what she'd been wanting to do she was worried she couldn't return the favour. 

Bernie opened her eyes and saw Serena on her back. It seemed she was deep in thought.  
'Hey.'  
Serena jumped as Bernies voice interrupted her thoughts.  
'Oh hey.'  
'Are you alright? You seemed deep in thought?'  
'Oh just worrying about today. Yesterday was so amazing, I'm worried today will be a disappointment.'  
'Serena Campbell, you could never disappoint me. Surely you know that by now?'  
Serena turned to face Bernie as her words from yesterday were repeated right back to her.  
'You always know what to say.'  
'You can't be worrying yourself silly. You'll make yourself ill. Now tell me about today.'  
'You really want to know?'  
'Of course, now spill.'  
'Well I had an idea. Feel free to shoot me down at any point. Seeing as this is our last day- I thought we should take a trip down memory lane. Go to all of our favourite places we enjoyed in Venice, and take photos. Then i thought we could make them into a scrapbook when we get home, so we'll always have the memories to look at.'

Serena felt Bernie take her hands and pull her close. She relaxed against her.  
'What do you think?'  
'I think that's perfectly fitting for our last day.'  
'Really?'  
'Yes; why wouldn't I? It's perfect. I have one request though.'  
'And what might that be?'  
'That we do stuff we both liked. Not just me.'  
'I had thought about St Marks Square this morning cause the Basilica is there. Then maybe lunch in the Ghetto. Back to the Giardinetti and Campanile this afternoon. And I had one thought for this evening that's something we haven't done.'  
'And what's that?'  
'I don't think I'll tell you yet. Would spoil the surprise.'  
'So you've planned today quite well then?'  
'Are you okay with this? Want to make any changes?'  
'No, today is your day. I'll follow your lead.'  
'You know I'd follow you anywhere. To the ends of the earth.'  
'Yes, as would I, but today all I'm going to do is follow you around Venice.'

*********************************

As mid-afternoon came around, Bernie stopped for a second to take in the atmosphere around her. The two of them had spent a glorious morning exploring St Marks Square again, taking so many photos to show their family, both at home and at work. Some Venetians had joined in when they were taking photos. Some of them were intimate with just the two of them, others were singular shots. Some were of the landmarks or panoramic views around Venice. A few were group shots. Elinor had bought her Mum a selfie stick for Christmas a couple of years ago, and somehow it had found its way into her luggage.

Bernie stopped to catch her breath, as the two of them walked from the Ghetto to the square to go up the Campanile. She was so lucky to be in this place right now. She thanked her lucky stars for the millionth time for bringing Serena into her life. She couldn't count the times she'd honestly thought she'd been dreaming. Having Serena as her wife meant so much to her, she knew she could face anything with Serena by her side. 

Serena clasped Bernies hand as the two of them reached the Campanile. This was her favourite place in Venice. They'd been so close here and so intimately drawn to the other. It was their own personal slice of heaven, like something you saw on a postcard. Serena knew Bernie inside and out and was amazed at how quickly they had come to understand what the other truly needed in their life. 

Something more than physicality- the two of them had started off as friends and that had given them the building blocks and a strong foundation for their relationship today. Yes, Serena understood they had 'undeniable sexual chemistry' and the physicality in their relationship was amazing but she knew they were intimate companions for life. Intimate and emotional moments meant just as much to her as the physicality did.

********************************

After a relaxing afternoon up the Campanile and in the Giardinetti, Serena told Bernie they were going back to the hotel but they weren't. As they walked along the canal, Serena suddenly stopped for no apparent reason.  
'Serena?'  
'Bernie.'  
'Are you okay?'  
'Yes, just waiting.'  
'For what?'  
'You're surprise. You'll find out soon enough.'  
'My surprise? Here? On a canal?'  
'Don't sound so judgemental. I think you'll love it.'  
'I didn't say I wouldn't. I just can't figure out what it could be.'  
'Look...'

Bernie eyes followed Serena's hands. Her eyes widened when she saw what was making its way to them.  
'A gondola?'  
'Bernie, we cannot come to Venice on a honeymoon and not go on a gondola before we go home. I saw this last night and thought it would be the perfect way to end our trip. Romance is blossoming.'  
'It's bloody amazing is what it is. I can't believe you thought of this.'  
'Neither could I, but oh well, always a time to be spontaneous.'

As the gondola stopped in front of them, the gondolier took off his hat and bowed to them. He nodded at Serena and beckoned them on board. Serena went on first, leading Bernie who seemed to have gained her sea legs already. The two of them sat down and he pushed off down the canal.

'This is amazing.'  
'So you like it yes?'  
'I absolutely love it. I couldn't have thought of it better myself.'  
'Perfect way to end our trip'  
'End out trip but our journey is only just beginning.'  
'I know Bernie. We had the rest of our lives together.'  
Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie and the two of them snuggled down in the gondola, and watched as the sun had begun to set over Venice.

What a perfectly romantic way for Serena to end their trip. Now they had to prepare themselves for what was to come when they got home.


	99. Chapter 99

99: Homecoming

Bernie sat in her chair smiling to herself. They were about 30 minutes away from landing back home. Home. That word had so many meaning. Her home was wherever Serena was. They'd made Venice their home for the week whilst they'd been there. Bernie knew wherever they ended up, as long as they were together they were able to survive, cause to each other, the other one was home.

Serena had fallen asleep, her head falling onto Bernies arm. It was roles reversed on this flight. On the way there Bernie had fallen asleep, and now it was Serena's turn. Whatever one did, the other one did at some point or another. Serena had become rather uncomfortable on her arm at one moment, so Bernies had repositioned her arm around Serena's shoulder, pulling her closer. 

Bernie had one around Serena and the other holding the camera. It had been in her hand luggage, unable to part from it for one second. As she scanned through the photos, she stopped on her favourite. A selfie of the two of them at the top of the Campanile, on their first evening, with the sunset behind them. Bernie resolved to get it blown up and given to Serena for Christmas. This photo meant a lot to her. 

*********************************

The landing of the plane on the tarmac jolted Serena awake. Bernie felt her move and she removed her arm so Serena could get up.  
'Hello you.'  
'Hello. Sleep okay?'  
'Yep, I don't know why I fell asleep. Must have been tired.'  
'Well we're home.'  
'Already?'  
'I know, its crazy to be back although I am rather glad.'  
'You are?'  
'Yeah, I've missed Jason so much. And the other kids. I can't wait to see them, and for us to do what we do best. Saving lives together.'

Serena smiled at Bernie as the two of them made their way off the plane and into the airport. She had been thinking on the flight before she fell asleep on a surprise homecoming present for Bernie. And she had the perfect idea. She told Bernie, she was going to the toilet and went inside, pulling out her phone as she did so.  
'Ric? It's Serena. Yes, yes the honeymoon was amazing thank you. Listen, I was wondering if you could do me a favour? I have an idea for a present for Bernie. A sort of homecoming?...'

Bernie waited for Serena's last case and began pulling them towards the doors. Serena was forever spending her time in the bathroom at airports. She had on the way over and she was now.  
'There you are.'  
'I told you where I was going.'  
'No worries; I just think it's funny how much time you spend in there.'  
'I like to look my best Bernie Wolfe.'  
'You will always look your best to me.'  
'Aww, your so sweet but you're obliged to say that. You're married to me.'  
'I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.'

Serena grabbed one of her suitcases off Bernie and the two of them made their way to the doors.  
As soon as they reached the doorway, Bernie spotted Cameron and Jason standing there. Cameron was holding a sign that read their names. Her face broke into a wide grin when she saw Jason consulting his watch looking rather impatient. Nothing much had changed. Serena followed her gaze and noticed them as well. Tears welled up in her eyes as she saw Jason. They made their way over. As soon as Jason saw them, his face broke into as wide a grin as Serena had ever seen on his face.  
'Auntie Serena, Auntie Bernie. You're back. You're flight landed 28 minutes ago. Why weren't you through straight away?'  
'I'm sorry Jason. You can blame Auntie Serena, she was taking forever.'  
'Auntie Serena, we do have lives you know outside of you. I'm going to miss Pointless now because of your delay.'  
'Well I'm glad to see you too Jason. Some homecoming this has turned out to be.'  
'You wouldn't have him any other way Serena, and you know that. He's been pining for you all week. Elinor and I wouldn't let him nope around all day. He's kept to his routine and you can be sure of that.'  
'Thank you Cameron.'

Cameron threw his arms around his Mum who hugged her son back as eagerly. Serena hesitated before putting her arms around Jason but only for a second. As the enveloped their boys into a hug, all the remarks about routines and delayed melted away, for this was what mattered. Their homecoming from their honeymoon, and they were here for them. 

Bernie thought that was the end of it, but as she would find out tomorrow, Serena had one more trick up her sleeve. One last surprise, before they settled as a married couple for the rest of their lives.


	100. Chapter 100

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My last and final chapter. Thank you to everyone who has read this fanfic and supported my love for Berena.

100: Happily Ever After?

The beeping bought Serena and Bernie out of their slumber. Buried in the depths of their duvet, they struggled to rise with their alarm. This was the first wake up call they'd had in a week, and it was a shock to the system. Serena was the first to stir, reaching out her hand to push the alarm clock to a stop.  
'Bernie.'  
'Five more minutes.'  
'Bernie.'  
'Five more minutes.'

Serena smiled to herself as she pulled the pillow off Bernie's head.  
Bernie went to pull the duvet over her head but Serena was too quick. She whipped the duvet off and pushed it to the floor. Bernie opened one eye and saw Serena sitting up smiling at her.  
'You can take that smile off your face.'  
'Oh I'm sorry Hun. I'd love to let you sleep all day but we're back to earning a living today.'  
'Do I have to?'  
'Come on, don't make me drag you out of bed.'  
'Why are you in such a good mood this morning?'  
'I'm not. I just can't wait to get back to work. I've missed Fletch and Raf. I can't wait to see them all. Now come on.'  
'Alright alright. I'm getting up.'  
'Good.'

Bernie reluctantly sat up in the bed. Serena smiled at her as she sat up and moved closer to her. Bernie reached over and pulled her in for a kiss. Serena responded eagerly for a moment, but the moment was interrupted by a knocking on the door.  
'Auntie Serena? Auntie Bernie? It's 7:03 and neither of you are up yet. I need my cornflakes to be on the table in 12 minutes so I can have my shower and be ready to leave at 8:30. You know this so why are you being silly today?'  
'Jason, I'm just coming. Bernie is being stubborn and won't get out of bed.'  
'Auntie Bernie, please get up. I want you to make my breakfast. Let Auntie Serena have more time to cover her frown lines and wrinkles with her make up.'

Bernie let out a snort and and a stifled giggle. Jason loved to say it exactly as it was- particularly about Serena. She couldn't help laughing at his treatment of her. He loved to be blunt and to the point.   
'Go downstairs Jason. I'll be there in two minutes.'  
'Two minutes?'  
'Two minutes I promise.'  
'Okay.'  
Jason walked off down the landing. As soon as she heard the creak of the stairs, Bernie grinned and pulled Serena closer.  
'What are you doing?'  
'I told him two minutes. Takes me 10 seconds to get down those stairs. That still means we have a whole minute.'  
'I like the way you think Ms Wolfe.'  
Serena smiled as the she flushed her lips against Bernies.

*********************************

Less than two hours later, the two of them walked into AAU for the first time in 9 days. Ric saw them as they came in and he came over to them, waving as he came over.  
'Ah the wanderers returned. How was the honeymoon?'  
'Just brilliant thank you. But glad to be back here now. Back to business; and back into the thick of it.'  
'Well you have a nice amount of paperwork to welcome yourselves back too.'  
'Oh thank you Ric, you really shouldn't have bothered to get us a homecoming present.'  
'It was no trouble Serena.'  
'I bet it wasn't.'  
'I'll catch up with you later Ric. I have to go and change into my scrubs. I'll catch you later today yes?'  
'Of course Bernie. My apologies.'  
'No need to apologise. I'll see you later.'

Bernie walked off to change from her white blouse and black trousers into her trauma scrubs. Serena had almost forgotten what she'd look like in them since they'd been away. As soon as she was out of ear shot Serena turned to Ric.  
'That little favour?'  
'In my office. When do you want it?'  
'Later today. Nice for everyone to see it, but Bernie needs to see it first.'  
'She really doesn't know.'  
'No, it's a welcome home present. I want us to settle in. I'll give it to her later when it settles down later.'  
'Okay, well drop me a text when and I'll bring it up.'  
'I will do. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go and see the mounds of paperwork you've left for me.'  
'Okay. Have fun.'  
'Not likely but I'll try.'

Serena surpressed a smile as she walked over to the office. Bernie had hung up her coat and left the door ajar. Serena could see two piles of folders, one on her desk and one on Bernies.  
'Welcome back Serena. Welcome back.' She said to herself as she went in to make some headway. Best to make some progress now to free up some time later. 

Half an hour later, Serena had cleared half of her pile. Bernie had begun to make little headway before being called off to see to a trauma patient.   
'Serena! I wondered where you'd been hiding this morning. I've seen Bernie but not you.'  
'Raf! How are you?'  
'I'm great. How was Venice?'  
'Venice was amazing. World away from this place. A week there wasn't enough.'  
'And now you're back with jazzman  
'I'm glad to see you all, I just was enjoying the break.'  
'This place wasn't the same without you and Bernie.'  
'Seriously?'  
'Serena, i don't think you realise how much we all love working with you. You and Bernie make the job so easy to love. And I do love it. Love medicine, and love coming next in to see my amazing friends every day.'  
'Aww Raf.'  
'Fletch said the same. He's on his way up. He's got a present for you.'  
'A present?'  
'Yes, it's nothing much. From all of us to you and Bernie, a welcome home.'  
'I've got Bernie a welcome home present too.'  
'What?'  
'No spoilers. Be here at 2 o clock and you'll find out why. Actually you can help me. Can you take Bernie for a coffee or something so I can go and get it without her being suspicious?'  
'Of course. My helping days aren't over with you two are they?'  
'Not by a long shot Mr Di Luca.'

********************************

Bernie sat at the table in Pulses. This was the first break she'd had all day and it was getting on to be two o'clock. She'd been in theatre most of the morning before having some time with Serena in the office trying to make headway with their paperwork. Fletch had bought them both a present. A bottle of Shiraz and two glasses with their names on. They'd smiled as it had been opened, the perfect way to toast their homecoming.

Raf had dragged her off for a coffee 20 minutes ago. Serena had smiled encouragingly and told her to take all the time she needed. She has a feeling Serena was planning something, but she was glad of the break for half an hour.  
'Glad to be back right?'  
'I suppose so. The honeymoon was so amazing but I am glad to be home.'  
'Serena was as well. She said you had a great time.'  
'We did. I've got some great photos. There on the camera at home. I'll bring them tomorrow to show you. Honestly the whole place is like a dream.'  
'I bet. A dream you didn't want to wake up from?'  
'Couldn't have put it better myself.'

Rafs phone buzzed and he pulled it out.  
'It's ready. Bring her back up the ward.' Serena's message was clear. He couldn't help smiling when he read it, and Bernie noticed this.  
'What's funny?'  
'It's Serena.'  
'Serena?'  
'Yes, she's summoning us back to the ward.'  
'Why hasn't my pager gone off? And why did she text you and not me?'  
'She's planning something.'  
'I knew it. What is it?'  
'I don't know but whatever it is, is ready, so come on.'

*********************************

Bernie pushed open the doors to AAU. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Serena was stood by the nurses station. Bernie walked over to her with a look of curiosity.  
'What's going on?'  
'I have a surprise for you.'  
'Yes I know. What?'  
'Bernie, calm down, it's nothing bad I promise. Come with me.'  
Serena walked into the office. The door was wide open but Bernie was too intent on Serena to notice the change on front of the door.  
'Well?'  
'Well what?'  
'What's the surprise?'  
'Look.'

Bernie followed Serena's gaze and on an impulse turned around. Instinctively she looked down, expecting to see something on her desk. But as she bent her head upwards, something caught her eye on the door. 

Acute Admissions Unit   
Berenice Campbell-Wolfe  
Serena Campbell-Wolfe   
Co-Leads

The sign on the door did the job Serena had wanted it to. Stopped Bernie in her tracks. Serena walked over to her and pointed to it.  
'Do you like it?'  
'Where on earth did you get this?'  
'Ric did it for me. I called in a favour last night. I wanted us to start our return on a good note.'  
'Campbell-Wolfe.'  
'I know. I knew neither of us wanted to change our names so I thought why not merge them together. Show the world we're together.'  
'Serena. I absolutely love it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.'

Bernie kicked the door shut and wrapped her arms around Serena. She had never had such a surprise in her life. It was perfect.

*********************************

Serena and Bernie have had their fair share of heartache and drama within the last year. The plaque on the door symbolised a new beginning for them. It was abundantly clear to everyone they would be together for a very long time. It was their own fairytale ending. Truly a happy ever after. 

Or is it?


End file.
